Don't know what to expect next, poss mc/ ectopic?

[whenskiesaregrey]

I have my dates as I would expect to be 7-8 weeks pregnant this week. Had postive preg test about 3 weeks ago.

I had red spotting last week over 3 seperate days which has now stopped and the odd mild twinge. Tbh, I don't have painful periods, so have no idea what 'period like cramps' feel like. Rang EPU last week and went in for a scan this morning. They couldn't see anything abdominally, so trying transvaginal scan and they could only see a sac, no yolk, measuring about 4 weeks.

The options the have given me are that I have mixed my dates up and the pregnancy is a lot newer than I thought (although in this case, I can't see how I would have tested positive 3 weeks ago??); that the pregnancy has not developed more than 4-5 weeks, or I'm having an ectopic pregnancy. They also said they could see fluid in my pelvis, and are testing for 'other things' that they were very vague about (and have made me even more worried). I had a hcg blood test and fbc taken this morning, and have to return in 48 hours for a repeat hcg. Then they should know what is happening.

The wait is killing me. I had to wait since Thurs for the scan, and I thought today we would finally know what is happening. Can anyone tell me what we can expect to happen over the next few days? I was meant to be starting a new job on Monday too, and I don't know what to tell them. What will happen if it is ectopic?

All I want to do is go and get my son from nursery and hold him :(

[Mama5isalive]

OHHHHHH im so sorry whenskiesrgrey! i cant offer you any answers but i know that the wait must be horrid! try staying focused on your son and i pray all works out for you and that someone else can shed some light on this!
fingers crossed that all works out quickly!

[whenskiesaregrey]

Thank you Mama5isalive

[scarletfingernail]

Hi wheskiesaregrey

Really sorry to hear about what you're going through right now.

I've been in your current situation twice before and both times ended in natural MC for me. Obviously I can't tell you which one of the 3 options that they've given you you're experiencing but what I can say is this.

If there is any chance you have got your dates mixed up, then as they said there is a chance you are not as far on as you thought. Only you know really whether that could be the case or not.

IME I found that if they thought seriously there was any chance that the pg was ectopic I would have been kept in. They saw a sac on the scan in your uterus which suggests it's not ectopic.

MC is devastating. You don't know yet that is what you are experiencing. I think that the worst of these 3 "options" though would be ectopic. I really hope and think that if that is what the staff suspect they would not have allowed you to go home to wait for 2 days without doing any further investigation today. Sorry I can't advise what would happen if it was ectopic, but please try not to think that is what is happening.

I really hope things work out for you and that you have got your dates mixed up. You will know for sure on Thursday. Are you able to call EPU and ask for your HGC results? They usually have a good idea from this along with what the scan picked up and my EPU were happy to discuss over the phone.

[whenskiesaregrey]

Thank you so much for your response scarletfingernail. I am hoping more than anything it isn't ectopic. How similar was your experience if you don't mind me asking? How long did it take you to miscarry naturally? I am clinging on to the hope that I am 4 weeks but i had a positive test 3 weeks ago, is that possible? I have so many 'what if's going through my head.

I rang the hospital to get my hcg, but they wouldn't give them. I have to wait until Thursday for the EPU to ring me :(

[scarletfingernail]

I'm not sure how early you can get a positive result from a home pregnancy test, but I'm sure I've read on here before that some people have had them only a week after conception, so it could be possible you are 4 weeks.

My experience was similar in that when I had the transvaginal scan an empty sac was picked up measuring 4 weeks, when I knew I should have been between 6 & 7. It was different to yours in that once my bleeding had started it got gradually worse rather than stopping.

With my first MC I was scanned and had bloods taken the day the first day the bleeding started, it didn't really get worse until day 3 when it did become quite heavy and I had period like cramps. This was when I went back for more bloods. They were able to confirm then that I was miscarrying. On day 4 I passed the sac and although the bleeding eased off after that it continued for about a week. My second MC was exactly the same situation at the same stage but it progressed much quicker once the bleeding started and was all over in more or less 5 days.

The hospital will know from your 2nd HCG results if it is likely to be happening naturally or if you need some medical help.

It's very hard to think positive while you are in limbo. That for me was worse than not knowing what I had to face. But, your pregnancy hasn't been ruled out and there is still a chance things will be ok. Please try not to worry about it being ectopic, the fact that a sac was picked up on the scan in the right place means it's very unlikely.

[whenskiesaregrey]

Thank you so much for your post scarlet, its just nice to know what might be happening. I am clinging on to the tiny bit of hope the pregnancy is only 4 weeks. I'm so sorry about your two mcs.

You're right, this waiting is horrific. It took nearly 40 mins for them to complete the two scans, and the silence, interspersed with them asking questions about my son etc to 'distract' me was the longest 40 mins of my life, I cried the whole way through it.

Thank you for your reassurance about the ectopic; I hope so much that you are right.

[freelancegirl]

Hi whenskiesasregrey, sorry for what you are going through. The wait is horrible I know but they need to give you a week or so to see whether anything has grown or changed. I recently had my second mc this year and the sac had not grown from one week to another to a third. So after the third scan I arranged an ERPC. No foetus was seen at all this time and the sac never got any bigger than 5 weeks, even though it should have been 8. In very rare cases a sac can still be seen and it still be ectopic, but this is highly unlikely.

If it is the worst for you, miscarriage is horrible and very far reaching so be kind on yourself and expect to be upset for while. I had a natural one in March which was very painful and long winded, accompanied by lots of shock and grief. So this time when I knew it wasn't growing I opted for the ERPC. That was a bit scary being put to sleep but it got it over and done with a lot quicker. That said, I had got to 12 weeks the first time so that might be why it was so painful and drawn out. I know natural miscarriages are not always that way.

I hope you are right and you have got the dates wrong, but if not, on a positive note my life hasn't ended, I am still enjoying things and although the miscarriages have been upsetting you can come through them and out the other side. You will never forget, and next time you get pregnant you will be terrified for a while, but life goes on and hopefully at some point you will have another successful pregnancy. I hope it all works out for you!

[whenskiesaregrey]

Thank you freelancegirl, so sorry to hear about your mcs. Thank you for sharing you experience. I suppose the worst part is waiting and waiting, and knowing at the end if the day, no-one can do anything to help. Was the erpc easier to deal with than allowing it to happen naturally? It's the waiting again that i would struggle with, just waiting for it all to kick off.

I feel a bit better than i did earlier as earlier I thought there was no chance I could only be 4 weeks. Now I'm clinging to that to get me through the next couple of days.

[freelancegirl]

Yeah, the waiting is the worst bit - so frustrating knowing you can't do anything! I had that for three scans over three weeks, it was awful. But the one thing it did do was get me used to the fact that things might be going wrong. When it got to the conclusive scan it was by then almost a relief to be able to arrange an ERPC. I hope you are right and you might have got the dates wrong and don't have to make that decision but yes for me the ERPC was a lot easier than the natural mc. But then like I said, I was prepared for this one more than the last. The last was a horrible shock.

Keep us updated with how it goes! Hope the wait isn't too hideous. I do have to warn you, if there has been a bit of growth like there was with mine you might have to wait another week like I did. Just try to remember that they make you wait for good reasons - there's a possibility it could all be fine.

[whenskiesaregrey]

Thank you freelancegirl, will repost on Thurs with the details. I keep flipping between optimism that i might just be 4 weeks, and then pessimism that the baby just didn't grow. Thurs can't come soon enough.

[whenskiesaregrey]

Hi everyone, not good news. Hormone levels have risen from 850 to 910 (or there about) so they have said its likely to be a failing pregnancy. As levels haven't actually decreased they can't rule out ectopic completely, but the midwife said she is confident its not. So looks like a mmc. Got to go back on Sat for yet more hormone tests, and a scan on Tues. So it will drag on and on, whoopee.

Midwife said, depending on the results Sat, they may admit me, does anyone know why? She has said I can admit myself to the ward at any point without a referral and has given me a form, I'm guessing this is incase I get any ectopic like pain??

She said i may start bleeding soon, what can i expect? Do I get any warning, like a period? Or it going to be a sudden, flood gates kinda thing? I just don't know whether to go to work tomorrow? Or my new job Monday?

[freelancegirl]

Oh hon, so sorry to hear that. I cant reply properly at the moment will do so late tonight but didnt want you to go unanswered, the wait is horrible I know.

[scarletfingernail]

Really sad to hear your update.

Sorry I can't tell you what it will be like for you. I know it's different for everyone. I found that the bleeding was light to begin with and progressed heavier over a couple of days, like a period. There was a couple of days of quite heavy blood loss which had some large clots and then it gradually got lighter again.

If I were you I would stay off work tomorrow and play Monday by ear. See what happens over the weekend. You don't need to decide about Monday yet.

Not sure about the being admitted thing. Hopefully someone else will come on and have an idea about that. I'd guess it's in case you decide on Saturday that you don't want to wait any longer if the results aren't looking good.

Have you got support in RL? Get as much rest as you can and don't put any pressure on yourself to do anything. You might feel ok one minute but be overwhelmed with grief then next.

[whenskiesaregrey]

Thank you. Im a bit relieved it seems to start like a normal period. Are normal pads sufficient, or do I need to get maternity ones?

I have DH with me, but i think, as far as he is concerned, we lost the baby on Tues, and now he just wants to move on. I don't feel like i can until it is properly all over. I suppose for men, the upsetting thing is the loss of the pregnancy, whereas for the woman, there are all the subsequent things to deal with. I am so scared to go anywhere incase I start bleeding, so I'm a bit relieved to hear it should be manageable.

I just want it to start so it can all be over and i can start to move on like DH has.

[whenskiesaregrey]

Excuse typos, I'm posting from my phone.

[scarletfingernail]

I used normal pads for the first couple of days but changed to maternity ones when the blood loss got heavier. I didn't need to buy more than one pack of those though.

I'm sorry you feel as though you're going through it alone. It was the same with me and my DH. I can rememeber the day after we'd had the second MC confirmed, he asked me if I fancied a trip out to Sainsburys to do the food shop to get out of the house. I completely flipped my lid! As soon as he was told it was over he was wanting to draw a line under it. But like you say, it's not over for you. Not while your body is still catching up with what's happening and dealing with it.

If you do want to go anywhere though, don't let it stop you. It's not like you see in the movies, it's more a gradual thing. At it's worst it was similar to blood loss after childbirth (you said you have a DS) so it shouldn't stop you from going anywhere if you feel up to it. If you want to stay home though no one would blame you. I stayed home for about 4 days without going anywhere apart from EPU for repeat bloods.

FWIW I now know that DH was upset, he was just dealing with it differently to me and thought he was doing the right thing trying to make things as normal as possible for all of us.

[freelancegirl]

So sorry again to hear what you are going through grey. It's awful I know. And such a shock when it is your first miscarriage. With the second one this year for me I was almost expecting it, as I had had one earlier and also the scans showed it hadn't grown. But it is still very hard all round.

I have had two recent miscarriage experiences (the first two was when I was 19 and 20 and then were not wanted pregnancies so it was a bit different.

When I was 12 weeks I had awful awful cramps (some say they are as bad as labour pains but I don't know) that at the worst point came in waves every three minutes and literally (I mean literally) floored me. There was a bit of blood but just as much as a normal period. The sac was passed a few days after the cramps but when I went for my scan (cramps started two days before 12 week scan) they said the baby was 'already on its way out' so I was to a wait for it to happen naturally. I passed the sac when on the loo a few days later, a bit of a shock but it didn't hurt.

The one this month was different and will probably be more like yours as it was earlier and hadn't grown. I knew it was going wrong due to early scans but started bleeding and bled for around 3 days like a normal period (although I would say my periods usually last longer). Four days after starting bleeding I had an ERPC. As this time it wasn't 'on its way out' I just wanted to get it over with quickly. And it did. Apart from a few twinges and spotting afterwards it has been fine. Of course my next worry now is when will I get my period back, but the operation and aftermath itself has been fine.

I am not sure what they mean by admitting you but it might be to do the ERPC. You could wait for it to happen naturally although that might take a few weeks. I know people who have miscarried naturally who did not go through the labour style pains that I had and simply passed lots of clots in a heavy period. See what the doctors say for you. I felt like you at the end of this miscarriage, I just wanted to get it over with so I could move on and think about starting again. But it really is an awful thing to happen and the on earlier this year affected me deeply as I am sure this one will do for you for a while too. It's life changing really, particularly not having any children already, but it is not going to totally ruin your life and I promise you, you will soon start to feel a bit better, awful as it is now.

[whenskiesaregrey]

Just wanted to thank you both for your replies. I didn't want you to think they had gone unread. Been at the hospital with DS since last night (one nightmare to another) so not been able to post. Will post properly when I hopefully get home tomorrow.

Your posts have been very helpful, thank you.

[scarletfingernail]

Oh whenskiesaregrey Sorry to hear you're having such a horrible time.

[whenskiesaregrey]

Hi, I'm finally back from the hosp. DS fell in the shower Thurs night and vomited 4 times after that. We went to A&E and got admitted to the ward where he continued to vomit for 2 days. CT scan is clear, so all ok, thankfully!

Thank you both so much for your posts. I am still confused about what is happening at the moment, and still worrying. I started bleeding whilst in A&E with DS on Thurs night, and thanks to your post, I wasn't worried it would get out of hand. Like you said it was pretty manageable. Started off pinkish, brown, but a lot heavier than the spotting I had had earlier.

Went for blood test on Sat, and my hcg has raised to 1300? So that is 850-910-1300? But I am still bleeding? The bleeding has got progressively heavier and is now red, but not overly heavy. I'd say yesterday it was like the heaviest day of a period, maybe not even that much. Certainly not the 'fill a pad in a hour' thing that you hear so often about mc bloodloss. Last night I think I passed the sac that was seen at the scan, but maybe I am wrong. It was a small clot, about the size of a 50p, and attached to that was a small grey circle, I'd say about 4-5mm roughly. Does this sound about right? But how would my hcg be raising on the day I pass the sac?

I am so confused. When the ward rang me to tell me my levels were 1300, I asked about the possibility it was ectopic? I was told it was a possibility and the Dr would ring me back. I was also told not to leave the hospital (I was there with DS). 3 hours later the ward rang me back and said to come in for another scan tommorrow and they can't tell me anymore until after the scan. I asked about ectopic and was told 'the Drs are shaking their heads'. Tbh I'm starting to get a bit pissed off about the insensitive way I'm being spoken to especially considering the circumstances, but that's a whole other matter.

So, I'm back to worrying about ectopic again?! And now I'm looking at possibly 'vanishing twin' but not getting my hopes up. And can't see how it could be possible really if they only saw one sac on the scan. Why would my hcg be raising like that, and still be bleeding?

Also, I'm worried about being scanned internally whilst I'm bleeding. Has anyone experienced this? I'm bleeding like a light period at the moment, with the odd clot, and I am just worried about the practicalities of it, and the 'messiness' IYKWIM? I'm not the best when it comes to internals in normal circumstances, and that bloody scanner with the condom pulled over it already knocks me sick, without contemplating it whilst bleeding. I understand it is necessary, but my stomach is gittering at the thought.

Tbh, everything is getting to me now. When I started bleeding on Thursday, I was relieved it was the start of the end and I could start to move on. Now after my latest blood tests I'm back in limbo.

Sorry this is so long.

[freelancegirl]

Hi honey, sorry to hear about your nightmare with DS. That must've been really worrying, on top of what you are going through. There is no problem with being scanned whilst you are bleeding (well, it's upsetting considering the circumstances but I had it the other week and just warned the sonographer before hand). It does sound to me like you might have passed the sac. Mine was a bit bigger when I had the natural one in March so I was fully aware when it came out. I did find that it took a few weeks for everything to go, I stopped bleeding and started a few times. But this wasn't a problem except being inconvenient and the doctor put me on iron tablets just in case.

I am pretty sure from what you say that it is not ectopic but make sure they scan you properly when you go back. I have no idea about HCG levels as for some reason during my two miscarriages this year no-one has ever tested for them! But I think you can still have them after you've miscarried for a while as I know sometimes people still get BFPs. That's one thing you can do of course - pee on a stick in the hope that you get a BFN. I waited around a week after my ERPC this time and got a firm BFN.

Sorry this post is all about the practical side rather than the emotional! Hope you start to feel better soon xx

[whenskiesaregrey]

Thanks freelancegirl. Practical side is good, that's what I'm after to be honest. The woman I spoke to on the ward was so insensitive and vague, considered the nature of what she is speaking about, it really didn't help. I just want to try and find out where this may be going!! I was thinking about doing a pregnancy test, but wouldn't it show positive if my hcg is raised.

Sorry for asking you loads of questions, I know you don't have all the answers!!

[freelancegirl]

No, ask away it is fine! I have had answers from so many people on here. Unfortunately, as you say, we don't often get any answers or great treatment from the medical profession and to a certain extent have had to become our own medical researchers here. Especially for those who like me seem to be having recurrent miscarriages too.

I reckon a pregnancy test might well come up positive if your HCG was still reasonably raised, but (amateur opinion here!) not if it was reasonably low now. I don't know. Mine was a very clear negative this time a few days after the ERPC. After the natural one I think I tested about 10 days after I passed the sac and it was negative then. The only way you can tell is to test, but if you don't want to waste money on several tests you might want to wait a few days. Or head down to the pound shop and get a bunch of cheapies.

[piprabbit]

I'm so sorry that you are going through all this, it is such a worrying time and you are right about things dragging on without answers .

I had an ectopic a few years ago. No pain at all, just some very light bleeding. I was monitored for 2-3 weeks (blood tests every couple of days, scans plus a couple of transvaginal (?) ultrasounds too. The doctors were great, could never find anything but my HCG levels kept slowly rising.

I was eventually admitted for a laparoscopy where the ectopic pregnancy was finally found and removed.

Do please be careful of yourself and don't hesitate to go back to the hospital if you have any doubts at all. I wouldn't do any more home pregnancy tests - as you say the results could well be positive and won't actually help you. Are you scheduled for more blood tests to recheck your HCG level?

Take care.

[whenskiesaregrey]

freelancegirl, I agree, the lack if answers, or at least helpful suggestions is really frustrating. I swear without MN I don't know what I'd be thinking by now.

Thank you piprabbit for sharing your experience. So did they never see a sac in the womb in your case. I am worried about the prospect of it being ectopic, especially with my hormones still rising. They haven't suggested another blood test yet, but I'll be very surprised if they don't tomorrow. I'm having what i would describe as discomfort,.but very central and low down. I seem to have a bit of pain just before I pass a clot. It seems the bleeding has slowed right down tonight. The pain and bleeding definitely doesn't coincide with what I'd expect, and what people describe with miscarriage.