My Sister has just had a miscarriage

[fran28]

She went up for her 12 week scan and found out the baby died a week ago...i have had 4 miscarriages myself but still i dont know what to say to her... i always had a bleed before my scans and knew they were gone but she had nothing..went up today expecting everything to be ok...she does have 2 kids already and had a miscarriage in between...i just wish i could take her pain away

[babysaurus]

Your poor sister. I had the same experience in July - all seemed fine but found out at the 12 week scan the baby had stopped growing, even though I had had no sign of anything being wrong and still had morning sickness etc.

Unfortunately there isn't much you can say or do other than to be there for her. I had well meaning friends wanting to 'cheer me up' which, while wellmeaning, was close to impossible for a while. I personally think that finding out at the 12 week scan is the shittiest way to find out too.

[eaglewings]

So sorry to hear your sister has had a missed miscarriage. Sadly it happens and is very hard to deal with as when you see the scan nothing has prepared you.

I had one in my very first pregnancy and am now in my 6th waiting for my body to start bleeding as the scan a week ago showed the baby had stopped growing. Have had 2 kids in the mean time.

I feel a fraud walking round pregnant but with no live baby. What I would love from friends and family is time to talk when I want to, care for my kids when I finally lose the pregnancy and start to bleed. Cards flowers and chocolates would also be lovely.

The feeling a fraud and the shock are also as bad as losing the baby.

I'm not writing this to get your sympathy but to explain how your sister might be feeling. I'm sure you will be a great support

[fran28]

Thanks for yer advice, sorry about yer missed miscarriages, its just so cruel.

i have told her im here if she needs anything...etc..i dont know how she will deal with this cos i dealt with mine...by getting drunk and having a cry and trying again a few months later!

but she doesnt drink at all and doesnt get pregnant as easily as i do...i just cant believe this is happening again

oh and obviously i never drank when i was trying

[babysaurus]

Maybe the choc / flowers option is a good one then? A couple of friends sent me cards and it was really nice to know they were thinking of me and had made the effort to send something. Alternatively, maybe something that will last a long time - plant or even Bonzai tree? (Hope that doesn't sound weird! - sometimes things do when written down!)