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When to try again after M/C?

(12 Posts)
foxylady1 Wed 17-Aug-11 08:02:36

We found out 2 weeks ago when i should of been 11 weeks our baby's heart had stopped at 7 weeks. As i was already bleeding dr said wait and see what happens. A week later i went back for a scan and it showed what i already knew the baby had gone so no need for medical intervention there was just a tiny bit of lining left.

They said wait till the bleeding has stopped which it now has then have protected sex to let your body recover. After first period we can ttc.

I still think about my lost baby all the time and feel everyone else is moving on and i feel ppl are fed up with me being upset (those that will talk to me, friends are treating me like i have the plague!).
I keep thinking i'd of been 13 weeks now etc sad.

But i also feel i'm getting ready to move on and what i need and want is to become pg again. do i really have to wait at least another 4 weeks for AF or can we just go for it? Is there increased risk of m/c if you get pg right away?

I've been reading all sorts some saying it's fine and listen to your body and others say to wait confused

angela85 Wed 17-Aug-11 08:16:50

First of all I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how tough it is.
Secondly, everyone is different. Most people like to wait til after first period to try again, because they need time to grieve and for their body to recover.
I was a lot like you, I felt ready straight away, and after some studying I found out that there is no extra risk of mc if you get preg straight away, doctors ask you to wait purely for dating purposes.
I am now 14 weeks and baby is doing well, I got pregnant straight after a mc with no period between.
You need to think that its your body, and you know best. only you can decide whether you're ready or not.
one thing I will say though, is that its really frustrating not knowing how far along you are until you have a scan, its all just guess work by the midwife!
hope this has helped, and I wish you all the luck for the future. Xxx

titferbrains Wed 17-Aug-11 08:27:29

I had a miscarriage and we started trying again pretty soon after 6wks/period had passed. Was important for us to move on from mc and focus on the baby we wanted to have. Got pg pretty quickly (within 2 cycles) and I don't feel sadness about the mc anymore.

tumblebug Wed 17-Aug-11 14:20:25

Hi, the same thing happened to me a week ago (started bleeding at 11.5 weeks, but the baby had stopped growing at 5 weeks). I am just back from a repeat scan which like you showed no intervention needed, again a small amount of blood/ tissue to pass.

The nurse at the EPU said that I should repeat a pregnancy test a week after the bleeding stops, then if negative can start to TTC again. She said there is evidence that outcomes are no worse if you conceive straight away.

I attended a different EPU last week (as on holiday) and was also told there that there was no need to wait for AF.

Good luck whatever you decide to do.

babybrain3 Fri 19-Aug-11 07:51:17

I had mc a couple of weeks ago too, think we will be ttc straight away, there doesn't seem to be any logical reason to wait, it would just delay the goal that we have been working towards for so long...

Does anyone know if AF just goes straight back into the old cycle, or if a new cycle starts from the day you started bleeding???

salempickles Fri 19-Aug-11 09:03:42

I really feel for you, as i know exactly how you feel, they say time is a healer and as you have said you are in that between place where you still hurt but see a glimmer of hope in moving on and trying again. As someone else said the doctors only suggest waiting for dating purposes, i'm kind of thinking why bother waiting, it just adds on more time to achieve what we want to. But only you know how ready you are.

I dont know if its the norm for the periods but after a mc i tend to go from 29 days to 24/25, they always become shorter and after a few months they go back up to 28 days, dont know why they just do, but if your worried about finding out when your ovulating then id suggest ov tests. good luck

Catsycat Fri 19-Aug-11 13:08:43

Just to concur with everyone else - the AF is for dating purposes, not because the outcome would be less successful if you got pg.

I had an ERPC and AF was back in 22 days - we did wait, as with my mc, I had scans between 5 and 9 weeks, all showed development of the pg, but nowhere near the right size for our dates. We waited for AF so we had a definite date to go by. I also got a bladder infection from the catheter during the ERPC, so I had to wait anyway due to the antibiotics I was taking. My cycle previously was 23 days, so pretty close to when AF came back.

I think some of the confusion from some GPs / online is because the WHO recommends waiting 3 months to get pg again, so some countries / GPs still go with this. Research, which I believe was a meta study done in Scotland and published late last year, showed better outcomes for women if they got pg within 6 months of a mc, and indicated no better / worse outcome in waiting for AF / 3 months etc.

So sorry to hear of your mcs everyone - it is such a horrible thing to have to deal with. Mine was at the end of June, and it does get better, though TBH I think I replaced some of the pain of the mc with absolute desperation to get pg again. Hope we will all get there soon.

peedieworky Thu 01-Sep-11 22:43:35

Really sorry to hear your story. I waited till after I'd had my period to try again. We'd been trying for over 2 years but I fell pregnant after a few months. We had an early scan because of our past problems but I started to bleed again at about 7 weeks and I thought history was repeating itself.. However, almost a year to the day after the MC, our DS was born. Good things can happen - and I hope they happen for you xxx

ILoveGregoryHouse Thu 01-Sep-11 22:55:08

Sorry for you and your dp. It's hard. I had a emc in late December 2009, conceived again early February 2010 on the first cycle after the mc. Dd born November. As long as you feel emotionally ready, that's the main thing. Good luck.

MarathonMama Mon 05-Sep-11 22:12:02

Hi, as some of the others have said, waiting for AF is for dating purposes only. If your body is ready for another pregnancy it will let it happen. You may want to think about moving to the ttc threads at some point if you want some support. There are a number threads for ladies who are ttc after mc. I found moving from the mc threads to the ttc threads made me much more positive, looking forward rather than back. I am now pg again after a mmc in May and have my 12 week scan on Weds, it's scary.

MarathonMama Mon 05-Sep-11 22:12:11

Oh, and Good Luck!

shortlady Tue 06-Sep-11 11:26:42

Hi.. Not really sure what thread to post on.. Choose this one as it seems to be looking forward, and I think I recognise at least on name here from the 'due March baby' forum.

I was due my 12 week scan this week, but started bleeding over weekend and went into EPAU monday and confirmed no heartbeat and baby stopped growing at 9.5. I opted for the tablets, and I think the oral one may have worked, or maybe it was going to happen anyway, as I had already started bleeding. Called EPU and they said I can have a scan early tm, to see if I still need the vaginal tablet. I am hoping not.

Feel like I am doing ok and really glad I did not find out at the 12 week scan. Only a few days before, but more prepared due to bleeding. I really feel for anyone that had to go through that.

Regards trying again, we have a holiday booked in October, so I think I will wait until the period after that, then I can really let my hair down on holiday.

Best wishes to you all

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