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climb aboard this bus called i was on "dec 11, jan 12, feb 12" etc- hear me now!!

(403 Posts)
Mama5isalive Mon 18-Jul-11 23:43:16

I thought i would just start this thread for all of us who have sadly lost our seats on our previous buses, but still want to talk and share and move on in all different areas!

Please swipe your cards, pay your fare and share!!!!!!!!wink
all are welcome to the journey ending in "moving on street", "TTC avenue" or "let just wait and see walk "or ", "Its finally happened for me junction"

rosalina72 Tue 19-Jul-11 11:09:02

Hi Mama. I lost a seat (well, was lurking on the thread but never joined) on the feb bus. Had a mmc at 9 weeks last week. I'm extremely depressed at the moment. It's my second miscarriage and just getting up in the morning is an effort. I thought I was dealing ok but it's really hit me like a ton of bricks this week. Maybe all the pregnancy hormones leaving my body??
So sorry you're going through this too. It's really horrible sad

puzzletree Tue 19-Jul-11 12:08:48

I'll join your bus Mama5.
Fell off the feb bus too rosalina72, also miscarried at 9 weeks, at the beginning of July. It really is an awful experience both physically and emotionally. Hope you get through it ok, I found the first week really tough but it's definitely getting easier now, I'm still trying to stay distracted though, if I just stop and think I feel sad again sad.
Not sure what we're doing about TTC. We were going to wait until I'd had a period, but maybe we'll just see what happens. I got some ovulation tests so will have a go with those, haven't used them before but it'd be interesting to have an idea of what my body is doing. Negative today.
Took DS2 for a nursery visit today, he's starting in september, and DS1 is starting school, eek! Was looking forward to having time to relax and just be pregnant. Ah well, perhaps if we get cracking I will be....
Good luck everyone else with recovering from your miscarriages and moving on to the next steps...

Catsycat Tue 19-Jul-11 12:47:53

Hi, nice to see you all here! Can I have a seat, please? I would have been on the January bus, but had ERPC on 29th June.

I will be TTC with a vengeance once AF is back (for dating purposes). Pretty sure I was ovulating last week actually, and tried the tests, but never got a positive. I did go from having no line, to having a definite line, but fainter than the control, which was still a negative according to the instructions!!! I tried the sticks when ttc DD2, but again, never got a positive. I got really worried, then found was pg that month! I couldn't do anything about it if I was ovulating last week anyway, as I was on antibiotics, and have to wait a week after taking them to ttc. Really stressing about whether I will have another mc, but I guess there's nothing I can do about that!!!

Rosalina, so sorry you're feeling bad again. For me, the relief of having had the ERPC, after all the waiting, made me feel OK for a few days, then it kind of hit me again later. Hormones, stress, blood loss - they are all things that can make people feel awful. I did feel up and down a bit at first, but over time, there was a gradual upward curve in my mood, albeit with the odd wobble. I hope that will happen for you too. Hang in there, we're all here to listen if you want to talk. xx

lemontop Tue 19-Jul-11 15:35:41

I'll join your bus if there's room mama!

I was actually on the very new March thread but I started to have a miscarriage on Friday night. It's all still a bit difficult to take in as had really strong pregnancy symptoms right up to Friday afternoon. Seems crazy that I could be very pregnant one minute and then it all be over so soon afterwards. I was 'lucky' in that it is a very early miscarriage at 5.5 weeks but still feel so sad. We had been trying for a baby for 5 months and were so happy when we found out. Fortunately I've got a 21month old DS who is doing a good job of cheering me up. Everyone keeps trying to take him off my hands but that would actually make me more miserable! Just willing it to be over asap really.

I have no idea yet about when we are going to start TTC. Part of me thinks it would be good to just get on with it (who says romance is dead?!), but another part of me is so scared that it might happen again. I guess I need a bit more time to think and get my head round it as it's still early days. My head feels foggy.

rosalina72 sorry you're feeling so bad. Hopefully offloading here will make us all feel a bit better.

Mama5isalive Tue 19-Jul-11 23:07:18

hi all and welcome aboard this bus although we are here without our lil beans
and we are still so very shocked, sad, upset and mourning our losses, i do hope that us all hanging out taking this ride will help us to move on to the other stops and maybe real soon be on another thread enjoying our rides once more!
im sorry but im also a neat freak and so would like to do a list so we can all get to know each other better( if we have'nt meet already on another thread)

buckle up and lets go -

mama5 - dd17,dd10,ds17mts(ds12,ds6) jan bus -mmc12weeks.
Catsycat - Jan bus -mmc 9 weeks.
rosalina72 - feb bus -mmc 9 weeks.
puzzletree -dsx2 feb bus -mc 9 weeks.
lemontop -ddx2 march bus mc 5.5 weeks.

if i have made any errors please copy,paste and correct. thank you

Catsycat Wed 20-Jul-11 12:55:15

Hi mama5, thanks for doing the list. Have added my two DDs:

mama5 - dd17,dd10,ds17mts(ds12,ds6) jan bus -mmc12weeks.
Catsycat - dd3.10, dd18mts; Jan bus -mmc 9 weeks.
rosalina72 - feb bus -mmc 9 weeks.
puzzletree -dsx2 feb bus -mc 9 weeks.
lemontop -ddx2 march bus mc 5.5 weeks

Feeling good today, so wanted to share! Cleaned all the upstairs rooms yesterday, and they are now lovely, neat and shiny! All my paperwork is tidy. The washing and half the enormous ironing pile (sigh!) are finished. DD1's behaviour and attention span were praised by someone who saw her at the library on saturday - she was kind enough to specially talk to me about it today even though I had never met her before (and she used to be a teacher, so that was really lovely). Had a nice time at our baby group with people who are kind and caring (and willing to acknowledge my mc).

It is a month today that I found out I would lose my baby - I wanted to record how far I have come. I'm not being self-satisfied about it (and I might be back on here tomorrow whinging!!!), it's just that I never thought I'd be able to cope again when it first happened. I think the good days should be celebrated!

I hope everyone else is having a good day. xx

lemontop Wed 20-Jul-11 13:22:32

mama5 - dd17,dd10,ds17mts(ds12,ds6) jan bus -mmc12weeks.
Catsycat - dd3.10, dd18mts; Jan bus -mmc 9 weeks.
rosalina72 - feb bus -mmc 9 weeks.
puzzletree -dsx2 feb bus -mc 9 weeks.
lemontop -ds21mts;Mar bus-mc 5.5 weeks

Just changing my stats. I only have the one DS.

catsycat good to hear you are having a good day and you are coping much more. Gives me hope that I may feel better soon. Half my mum mates are pregnant so am avoiding baby groups this week but will try and catch up with them next week.

I have a vague plan to redecorate my bathroom. I thought it might help take my mind off things if I keep busy. I'm a teacher on 6 weeks hols at the moment, which is good because I haven't had to explain anything to people at work, but means I have lots of free time on my hands. Shame I am not the most creative of people.

Catsycat Wed 20-Jul-11 20:23:55

Hi Lemontop. I don't blame you for avoiding the baby groups. We have a very new baby and two pg mums at ours, so I avoided for two weeks, went back last week, and still cried (though everyone understood and was really nice) - felt a bit daft!!!

Mama5isalive Wed 20-Jul-11 20:49:59

mama5 - dd17,dd10,ds17mts(ds12,ds6) jan bus -mmc12weeks.
Catsycat - dd3.10, dd18mts; Jan bus -mmc 9 weeks.
rosalina72 - feb bus -mmc 9 weeks.
puzzletree -dsx2 feb bus -mc 9 weeks.
lemontop -ds21mts;Mar bus-mc 5.5 weeks

well done on the clean up CC- you can come do my home if you like!
LT- try find some lovely way to spend quality time with your family you deserve it!

well i wanted to get away from it all -it is also "1 month today" we found out our baby had passed away. so we decided to go new furniture shopping well looking in ikea and DFS - but so was all the very pregnant women and i felt sick!!!!!!!! Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
i couldnt wait to get out needed some bits in mothercares but walked straight pass it cant face it now!!!!!!!!!!
well i have 8 weeks off work so plenty time to spend with the DC!!!!!!!
good news is im moving home and i cant wait i know this is the fresh start we as a family need! oohhhhhhhhhhhhh cant wait.
cramping feelings all day feels like my AF will be on its way! this was the time roughly before my pregnancy so waiting to see!

Catsycat Wed 20-Jul-11 22:09:03

Hi mama5. Are you in Croydon? I think you mentioned Mayday in another thread. We used to live in Waddon until we moved here 4 years ago - very handy for Ikea! Sorry all the pg women showed up today... v. hard. I have Pixifoto photos to pick up from Mothercare in Leamington - had them done 3 days before the ill-fated scan. Can't face the long walk through the store to collect them though! 8 weeks off work - excellent! Hope you have fun with the DC! x

puzzletree Wed 20-Jul-11 23:08:25

Hi lovely ladies, glad you're all keeping busy. I got a call from my gp yesterday saying sorry about my news (guess the hospital sent notes to them or something) and asking me to take in a urine sample, I presume to confirm a BFN. It'll be good to have everything documented properly anyway.
Feeling pretty ok really, lacking in motivation and bit spaced out, but I'm quite ok to see pregnant women and newborns etc. I think it helps that I know DP wants to TTC; he was never previously keen on the idea of a 3rd child (this pregnancy wasn't planned, unlike our two children). I guess he got used to the idea after all, the miscarriage was certainly very upsetting for him as well as for me. And even if it doesn't work out, I know how lucky we are to have two children already. Feel so so glad we didn't have to suffer miscarriage(s) before successful pregnancies, or a late miscarriage/stillbirth, some of the stories on this board and from friends are heartbreaking.

lemontop Thu 21-Jul-11 12:57:11

Hi all

Have been up since 6 and spent the morning in a soft play that resembled a Krypton Factor style assault course. I am exhausted but it certainly helped take my mind off things.

catsycatWe are not far from Croydon-in fact I might be heading to the Purley way Ikea on Saturday if I can face it. mamasorry your trip there was a bit of a nightmare. Hope you have a great 8 weeks off and the move is the fresh start you need. DH and I have been thinking about moving out of London for a while but we can't agree on where to move to (I am from up north and he is from down south!).

Catsycat Thu 21-Jul-11 14:16:17

Oh lemontop, Ikea and House of Fraser are the two things I really miss about Croydon (no offence - I'm a village girl at heart, and spent 10 years in Croydon feeling like a fish out of water). I love Ikea so much, and our nearest branch here is about an hours drive each way, up 2 motorways - it used to take us 5 minutes to get there sad. I am also a northerner, DH is from South Norwood. We now live in Worcestershire, so kind of slap bang in the middle.

Puzzletree, glad you're doing OK smile

Also, I need some advice - I was supposed to be getting the foetal remains returned to me from the hospital, once the lab had done with them. I was originally told they would be about a week, phoned after 2 weeks to ask the EPAU nurse what was going on - she said she would chase the lab, as they hadn't contacted her yet. That was a week ago, but I still haven't heard anything. Would you chase again? I don't want to nag, but am kind of concerned after 3 weeks that they have accidentally lost the remains, which would really, really upset me (obviously).

puzzletree Thu 21-Jul-11 20:05:33

Catsycat I'd definitely chase them up about the remains, I don't think messages like that get relayed particularly well in hospitals so persistance is necessary! I really hope they still have them for you. I still feel a bit bad that I lost whatever there was of the foetus down the toilet in hospital sad
lemondrop glad softplay was a distraction for you, personally I find those places depressing at the best of times, but then there has to be a trade off for happy exhausted children!
Tomorrow is when I would have had my 12 week scan. In fact I was going to ring to check it was cancelled (EPU said it would be, but this was a different hospital so I don't really trust their communication skills) but I haven't got round to doing it. Am planning a busy day out with the boys meeting friends to keep my mind off it, don't want to be sad mum, will save that for the evening with DP and a glass of wine.

Catsycat Thu 21-Jul-11 20:14:36

Puzzletree, sounds like a good plan for tomorrow. All the milestone weeks are going to be hard, aren't they...

Will have to ring EPAU re. the remains tomorrow... then I'll be planting up a big planter in the garden with the DDs smile

Mama5isalive Thu 21-Jul-11 21:57:40

Hi all - yes i do live quite close to there and will be moving even closer actually in your old neck of the woods so 1hop and skip and will be there!!!( trying to avoid too much personal info just in case)smile
well decided on the sofa and the beds and the dining room table yehhhhhhhh!!!
How are you today CC- sorry about the lack of info regarding your baby, i will chase the hospital and i would be fuming if they have misplaced your baby!
ohhh lemondrop your very close to me - yes my next step in a few years time will be to move more outer london, just have my DD10 last year in P.S and then to get my DS and then my DS6 to get through school also, DS12 is in S.C and so not to worried about him at all. they have move alot (DSs) so wanted to get them abit settled before we move again after this!
i hear you PT- i find that i am quite fortunate to be only dealing with the 1 MMC and this after my3 DC!!! i have close friends who have gone through this without having any children and the loss is very hard and scared to try again!!
yes i also hear you about baby and toilet, i believe that happened to me still dont understand why they wouldnt put something in the toilet so it doesnt happen???????????????? i still recall it all like it was yesterday! tomorrow will be a month that i had the OP!!!!!!!!!!! so another day of thinking and feeling quite low!!!!!
have a much needed eve out with some close GFs to cheer me up a bit! well needed! nowine will be had we are all brewtotal!!!!!!!!!

rosalina72 Fri 22-Jul-11 10:05:46

Hi ladies. Glad to hear you are all mostly feeling better with the usual wobbles during the important milestones. I guess that's to be expected. I was supposed to have my first antenatal appointment this week and would have had my 12 week scan in a week or so. I suspect that will be a difficult day. I like the idea of doing something nice with DC on those days. It beats moping around the house!! I've been feeling a little better in the last couple of days. I'm trying not to dwell on what's happened and just try to focus on the present & future. Hopefully AF will show up in a few weeks and we can start trying again.

Btw I've updated my stats as well. Take care and hope you all have lovely relaxing weekends xxx

mama5 - dd17,dd10,ds17mts(ds12,ds6) jan bus -mmc12weeks.
Catsycat - dd3.10, dd18mts; Jan bus -mmc 9 weeks.
rosalina72 - ds3 feb bus -mmc 9 weeks.
puzzletree -dsx2 feb bus -mc 9 weeks.
lemontop -ds21mts;Mar bus-mc 5.5 weeks

rosalina72 Fri 22-Jul-11 10:44:01

Oh, Catsycat forgot to mention that I think you should definitely call and bug the hospital about the remains. They're probably just very busy. I hope they get back to you soon. Good luck.

Catsycat Fri 22-Jul-11 15:12:15

Hello people! Surprisingly, AF has shown up today, 22 days after my ERPC, so a bit quicker than I expected. I do have short cycles though (usually 23-26 days), and I did think I might have ovulated last week. Hopefully this means things are in working order, and will be swi from next week.... (sorry if TMI grin)

mama5 we're brew total too! Enjoy your night out. How lovely to be choosing new furniture - I looove doing that. We are getting our new car tomorrow, which will be great (if I can drive it, it's virtually a bus)!

Have phoned the EPAU re. the remains, and the mw said the lab have looked at them and put the info on the system, so must have finished with them, but have not contacted her to say we can collect them. She has been trying to phone them, but can't get through, so sent them an e-mail a few days ago, but hasn't had a reply. She will try again next week if she doesn't hear from them by the end of the day... Apparently the remains get preserved in formalin, and the way they were described sounds like they are just black lumps sad so not expecting anything very pleasant, but all the same it is important to me to have them. I agree that there should be more done in hospital to stop them going down the loo, because it is really sad. It was just important to me to salvage what I could, when I was offered the option by the doctor.

Glad everyone seems to be doing well, and managing to stay pretty positive under the circumstances. x

Mama5isalive Mon 25-Jul-11 14:59:16

CC - thats good news your AF has returned mines has not!!!!!! how are you feeling? anymore info from the lab yet?
how are you Puzzletree? and also Lemontop, Rosalina72?
had a busy weekend and another next week wedding to attend!
another women from my church had a MC last week this is her second time! really feeling bad for her! and i know she feels now! but yet again it being her 2nd i cant imagine really!
hugs to all xxxx

puzzletree Wed 27-Jul-11 08:44:48

Hi All,
Have been away seeing friends down south for the weekend and now back and cracking on with potty training DS2. And he finally seems to have got the idea, hooray!
Glad AF has shown up for you Catsycat, hope your cycle is back on track now. It's weird not knowing what's going on. I've not got anywhere with ovulation testing yet, still negative. We've also not been using contraception for the past week so who knows what will happen....
Mama5 it sounds like you have a good support network at church. Hope your friend is ok.
Definitely feeling more positive now. Thanks for listening folks!

Catsycat Wed 27-Jul-11 12:28:17

Hi folks! Glad you are still out there...

Well done with the potty training Puzzletree, not looking forward to that with DD2 in a few months! Can't remember if I told you this before, but just a thought on the ov sticks; I tried those when trying to get pg with DD2, never got a positive, got really worried that I wasn't ovulating, then at the end of the month found I was pg. Good luck! I'm thinking of getting one of those saliva microscopes to see if I can tell from that when I am ovulating.

Mama5 sounds like life is keeping you busy. Sorry to hear about the lady at your church who mc.

I looked on the hospital website and found the phone number for the lab, and just rang them myself. The woman I spoke to said they never throw anything away, so not to worry about that, and that the lab manager has been on holiday, which might have caused the EPAU nurse's calls/emails to go unanswered. She has taken my details and said she will try to sort out the return of the remains for me. She was really nice. Hopefully this will get sorted now.

Really hoping to get pg this month. I know I will feel gutted if I don't, although rationally I know it is all a bit random, even if swi at the right time being no guarantee of a BFP....

I had Pixifoto photos of the 2 DDs taken 3 days before I found out the baby had died, and was meant to collect them the day after my ERPC. The studio is right at the back of the giant Leamington Mothercare, which I just didn't want to comtemplate going to at all, for quite some time. I finally felt OK about going there today, and have got my lovely photos - they are very good actually smile . Also gave me chance to test out the fab new car we collected at the weekend - pleased to say me and the Sharan are getting on well (even though I feel like I'm driving a bus)!!

lemontop Wed 27-Jul-11 13:44:42

Hi all

Glad to hear everyone is feeling rather positive. I am glad I got the first week post miscarriage over with. I'm feeling more positive and have stopped crying every day at least. I've been keeping myself busy with tidying and cleaning so my house actually looks decent for a change.

I reckon I might be up for TTC, it's just the worry of it happening again.

Off to my mum's tomorrow for the weekend so will be able to have a few nights out with DH, which will do us both good I think.

I'm dreading potty training DS. Will leave it as long as possible!

Mama5isalive Wed 27-Jul-11 14:08:35

yehhhhhhh my AF has finally arrived!!!!!!!!!!!! not happy about the crampimg pains and feelings brings back certain feelings i would like to forget!
puzzletree nice to hear you went to see some friends i do thing friendships are very important just as extra support and hand holding!!!!! potty training is also something im willing to get started awaiting the wonderful potty i ordered off amazon!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CC - im glad you contacted the lab wonderful!!!!!!! fingers and all crossed for you getting a BFP this month!!!!!!!! glad your enjoying your pictures and the new bus!!!!!!!
lemontop - glad your feeling better, 1 day at a time!!!! and all the best for ttc!

Another wedding this weekend i just hope my period settles so im not worried of any accidents happening!!!!!!!blush wonderful weather im praying for also! grin

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