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MISCARRIAGE AT 5+ WKS

(4 Posts)
NESSAPOWSEY Wed 13-Jul-11 20:07:44

HI IM NEARLY 39 I ALREADY HAVE 4 CHILDREN , MY ELDEST IS 20 AND THE YOUNGEST IS 3 , I HAVE HAD 3 MISCARRIAGES THE FIRST ONE WAS SEPT 2009 AND THEY CONFIRMED IT WAS A MOLAR PREGNANCY HAD TO HAVE FOLLOW UPS FOR 6 MTHS AFTER HAVING THE D&C DONE AFTER THOSE 6 MTHS HAD PAST IT TOOK A YR TO FALL PREGNANT AGAIN I FOUND OUT JUST BEFORE CHRISTMAS 2010 THEN IN JAN 2011 I WENT FOR A SCAN I WAS GETTING PAINS BUT NO BLEEDING , BUT THEN THEY CONFIRMED IT BY THE SCAN I HAD ANOTHER MISCARRIAGE , MY THOUGHTS WHERE OMG NOT AGAIN I JUST BROKE DOWN IN TEARS BUT WAT COULD I DO , I FELT SO EMPTY , I WASNT THAT FAR GONE JUST 5 WKS BUT IT STILL HURT SO MUCH THEN I WENT IN HOSPITAL FOR THE D&C IN JAN , WE WASNT GOING TO TRY AGAIN BUT IT DID , WE HAD JUST RECENTLY MOVED INTO OUR NEW HOUSE IN MAY THIS YR WE WHERE OVER THE MOON WE THOUGHT A FRESH START NEW HOUSE NEW BABY , BUT IT DIDANT WORK OUT THAT WAY I STARTED GETTING PAINS IN MY LOWER BACK AND PERIOD LIKE PAINS , AND I NEW , I NEW I HAD LOST IT I DIDANT WANT TO BELIEVE IT BUT I WAS TAKEN IN FOR BLOODS AND SCAN AND AGAIN THEY CONFIRMED IT THEY SAID THERE WAS A BABY BUT NO HEART BEAT MY HEART JUST SANK I JUST THOUGHT Y ME IM NOT A BAD PERSON , WHY , WHY , WHY , 3 TIMES NOW THERE MUST BE A REASON IS IT MY AGE , SO IV JUST COME OUT OF HOSPITAL AFTER HAVING ANOTHER D&C , I REALLY DONT THINK I CAN GO THREW THIS AGAIN .DONT NO WHAT TO DO .

NESSAPOWSEY Wed 13-Jul-11 20:17:20

IS THERE ANYONE THAT HAS GONE THREW SIMILAR SITUATION .

GwendolineMaryLacey Wed 13-Jul-11 20:30:33

I'm really sorry to hear that. sad I'm also 39 but have one child and had a mmc at 11 weeks in January this year. So although you've had a worse time, I do understand how shit it is, and how you just want to curl up into a ball and disappear.

I don't know what to suggest other than making sure you take time to grieve. It's hard with young ones, my daughter is also 3 and they are very demanding but you need to make sure you take enough time for yourself to get over this, physically and emotionally. You just have to keep going sad There are lots and lots of people here who have been through it, keep talking here if you want to xx

nolembit Wed 13-Jul-11 20:49:52

I am so sorry for your losses. I have had 3 MC's too and the third one left me distraught, it's not only the loss of what was potentially another DC but the sudden change in hormones which makes it a very difficult time.

I needed a lot of help after my third MC - if I hadn't already 2DD's and a DH to keep me going I don't know what I would have done. It did take me a while to ask for help and looking back I wish that I had admited sooner that I wasn't coping. My DH later admitted that he was terrified of what he might find upon returning home from work.

BTW I have since had another DD after deciding never to try again (as I couldn't bear the thought of losing another). I eventually realised that living with the fear of it happening again was nothing in comparison to wondering what if?

Please ask for help if you need it.

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