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Was your hospital set up to cope with those who were miscarrying?

(7 Posts)
2kidsintow Fri 08-Jul-11 22:53:08

The hospital I went to didn't seem to be set up to deal with those sufffering a m/c at all. Each time I miscarried (3 times) it was discovered at a scan. The atmosphere became silent and apprehensive and I actually came to dread being in the scan room. When no heartbeat was discovered they then moved on to an internal scan and my husband was asked to leave the room. At the time we thought nothing of it, but on reflection I wonder why...and it wasn't exactly pleasant for him to be sent out of the room to sit and wonder.

After discovering that it was a m/c we were ushered into the nurses staff room to wait until they had a place for me on a ward. My husband and I were understandably upset, and there would be nurses popping into their staff room to pick up things or even to take their break. In day time hours there was a ward for those in my situation. After clinic hours, however, they sent you to the maternity ward. They have two wards for maternity and when you go in to have your child you are admitted according to where you live. If you go in with complications they ensure that you are admitted to the opposite ward to where you would go if you were in labour and they try to give you a private-ish bed, but it is not pleasant to be surrounded by many pregnant people and those who have had their babies.

One doctor told me "You are busy having a miscarriage" and told me to decide whether I wanted a d&c or not. I didn't know any better at the time and chose to go was not a pleasant experience and it took ages for my cycle to settle down afterwards. My subsequent m/cs were managed by surgery and it was much easier.

That said: I nearly died at the same hospital when finally giving birth to my DD1 and they left me alone to hold her after I woke when I was extremely woozy from blood loss the next morning. How she is still here I don't know!

SootySweepandSue Fri 08-Jul-11 23:07:30

I would say no.

I miscarried in an EPU. I had to wait a long time for a scan and was placed in a side room next to all the happy bump mummy's. They ran out of space in the nice area so I was joined in my waiting room by a very pregnant mum & 2 playful kids. Not their fault, but it was horrid to be sitting there in tears whilst you are losing a baby surrounded by a picture perfect family with kids and a bump.

Once I had my scan and was getting advice from the Dr ( which was to wait for hcg results in 2 days), he suddenly got up and opened the blinds and started talking about the rain. I was like FFS have I lost my baby or what! at this point I thought bloody men havn't got a clue even if they are Doctors.

puzzletree Sat 09-Jul-11 10:05:26

I miscarried at the weekend so spoke to NHS direct a few times from saturday afternoon and eventually went in via A&E (at about midday on sunday) where the staff were fine and varied in their approach/abruptness but obviously rushed and not specialised in miscarriage. It took a few hours to get a transfer to the gynae ward that was open in a different hospital. The nurses there and the gynaecologist on duty were lovely and understanding, although they weren't equipped to scan me so I had to wait until tuesday for a scan to confirm the miscarriage. Going into EPU for the scan was pretty odd as I was initiallly treated as if I'd just come in with a bit of pain and spotting, but the nurse we saw post-scan was again very caring.
I'm glad that I 'knew' it was over on the sunday after passing so much tissue and clots, as the wait til tuesday would have been horrendous otherwise.
Overall I'd say the medical staff were good, and the waiting around was managable- glad there was always a free toilet, A&E was pretty quiet luckily. But I think they should have a facility for scanning at the weekend.

Catsycat Sat 09-Jul-11 10:33:50

Sorry to hear everyone's experiences.

I was scanned at our "default" hospital 3 times, and thought everything was going to be OK (was orignally sent in to check for ectopic, but turned out to be a pretty normal cyst in my ovary). The sonographer who finally found the foetal pole was really abrupt in telling me the pregnancy wasn't viable, and she also bruised me with the internal scan (the previous 2 had been fine, though also internal). The EPAU midwife was lovely, but it was a real conveyor belt atmosphere. I was not going to go back to that hospital once I realised I would mc - did not want to see the same sonographer, or be treated somewhere so busy and impersonal.

I changed to Warwick hospital, and they were lovely. The EPAU midwife gave as much time as I needed, was really kind and treated me as an individual. There was a bit of waiting, but nothing unbearable, and it was worth it to be treated well. The sonographer took a real interest in showing me all the detail of the scan (I asked her), pointing out where everything was, and talking about how they took the measurements. She was really lovely. When I mc, I went to Warwick A&E. The paramedics were a married couple who had had 4 mc, so they knew exactly what was going on and how I felt. I was initially put in an A&E room with its own toilet, in a nice quiet bit of the department (I was moved later as they wanted me near the nurses station). I had the same nurse for the whole of each shift, and they were fantastic, so were the 3 gynaecologists I saw. The female paramedic came back in later to visit me, which I was amazed at. I was moved to the day surgery ward in the morning, and again, they were really kind. Every doctor I saw said they were sorry for what had happened. I just could not believe how nice they all were. Had I been moved to a ward rather than being discharged from day surgery, I would have gone to a women's ward NOT maternity. It was a horrible experience, but the staff at Warwick could honestly not have been better.

Sorry to hear others did not have such good experiences, seems like I got very lucky indeed.

emptyshell Sat 09-Jul-11 10:44:40

Nope. They've done out the maternity and ante-natal departments in our local hospital... and the way it's laid out there is absolutely NO way to route yourself through the maze of corridors without having to negotiate the happiness gauntlet.

Then you go through a succession of increasingly dark, dingy corridors to find the place burried in the darkest, deepest bowels of the hospital - all the while telegraphing to you that "you don't matter - you don't give us nice cheesy baby photos for our corporate literature - we really resent that we have to actually bother with your sort".

In the EPU the staff generally try - give them their dues on that, and thankfully they at least have a dedicated scan room down there to keep you away from happiness central. However you sit in the waiting room and you can tell everyone's outcomes as they walk past you clutching either an envelope containing a photo of their happy ending, or a leaflet with what fate they have awaiting them. They change as well when it's not good news - they go from being smiley and happy and kind - to being very cold and detached... and there was no understanding, no options given to me (I had the forms shoved under my nose about the remains and was just told I HAD to sign that) and when I started questionning things - I'd been probed, prodded, swabbed and I'd just had enough and my composure was starting to crack and being told I had to have another set of mandatory "optional" tests I couldn't take anymore and refused (I think it was the STD ones - wasn't anything to do with the stigma of them - I just simply could not take more violating my body that day) - I think I got chalked down to be a difficult patient.

After the EPRC - I came round in a room listening to someone's kid yell mama mama mama - and that, understandably was distressing me - so I asked to discharge myself (fully prepared to take the risks of doing so on my own head - I just needed to get away to be able to fall apart in private and happy to sign any disclaimer preventing me from suing them that they so wished)... so the nurse hid and procrastinated and basically ignored my wishes for over an hour. Again, I was a "problem" I was an undesirable outcome - I wasn't a person, I wasn't a patient - I was just a bit of garbage inconveniencing their day.

I got luckier than lots though in that they've wised up to the scan issue at least - even with gynae infertility investigation scans that they have to do on the main scan room they do them on a different day of the week to the usual happy happy bumpy bumpy scans... but still - the way they acted toward me changed so markedly, the hospital layout is so bad in terms of making you feel so utterly utterly dreadful about yourself and they just obviously only care about the ones with happy endings - and you have no rights, none of these options they claim you have you actually have - forms you're meant to have choices about are presented to you as something you HAVE to sign... oh and their surgical proceedure (obviously designed to prevent you going in for an appendix removal and coming out with them having removed your brain instead) requires you to be asked no less than five times what you're having done - so five times I had to explain, had to use that repulsive ERPC term, and had to rake it all up again when I just wanted to autopilot through it all.

Mama5isalive Mon 11-Jul-11 00:59:07

Here i go - a long one!
monday 20th june - went along to my 12 week scan to be told at 12.15 im sorry to tell you there is no heartbeat!!!!! what!!!!!!!!!!!
when was seen by the dr, she told me 3 options 1. leave it to pass naturally!
2. tablets to induce labour, 3 op. My DH said op straight away but them looked at me with my eyes still not able to focus, i couldnt even hear what she was saying,we left with some leaflets and i went home shattered.
waking up feeling pregnant going to bed knowing im not anymore!!!!!!!!!
walking around with a big belly just reminded me of the cold hard facts, my baby died inside of me and i was so blissfully unaware!
went back the following day - was told we had a 9am appointment to discuss it some more with dr. we was placed in the waiting room with - happy early pregnant women who was experiencing some forms of pains, but still pregnant i expect!!!! are they having a laugh my DH said and walked out for some air, how horrible i felt looking at them knowing they still had chances of there babies being ok!
after 1.30 mins waiting we went in to be told "the product" meaning my baby would be removed, having the op would make sure "the product was all gone"
Ahhhhhh i wanted to scream " my baby, my baby" but i guess its a term they use to make it somehow easier to deal with remove yourself from the fact it was a baby! wed 5am woke to insert these 3 tabs to soften the inner lining!
i started to bleed i noticed as i did so, no op i hoped, but when i reached the hospital and was told to get changed for the op, i had a huge need to go toilet as i did i just felt a pull and out came what i can only describe as my baby! i couldnt move as i saw blood and alot of it! i pressed the bell for a nurse and she reassure me it was normal and helped me get cleaned up and returned me to my bed, 10 mins later i felt again a large pull and tried to get up but to late and out it was in my bed! i pushed the button again and the nurse appeared, i explained something was happeining and as she pulled back the sheets her face told me what i already knew my baby was coming out! she called another nurse and they helped me out of the bed and tried to hide it from me, and conceled it in a basin! " oh God" i cried!!!!!!!
as they re scanned me i was told the "product"( my baby) is still there and so the op was going ahead! sleep, woke up in recovery knowing it was over and my Baby was really gone!

I had to contact the ERPC myself because on (1st july) for i really need the support loads of questions and no real answers! and someone only called me on friday 8th July.
Midwife from Croydon hospital was very nice and said " oh you poor thing you've been overlooked" no flippin kidding i thought, surely this info should be passed and someone should asked if you are ok and need support maybe not on the day a few days later! i went straight from scan to the drs and because i didnt go through the EPU i was forgotten! im finally seeing someone this wednesday 13th July and im still off work, not fit enough to go back walking back in the office after walking out being pregnant going back knowing im not having to cancel my work assessment because i was pregnant!!!!!!!!! the looks and glances and the not knowing what to say looks!!!!!! oh yeh and the other pregnant lady in the office with her even bigger bump!!!!!!
and breath!!!!!!

philbee Tue 12-Jul-11 19:07:24

Not sure they're set up for it, but my experience was ok actually. I went to a&e near my parents first, on Friday morning, and was told they couldn't scan me until Monday, but the receptionist wasn't in yet (this was about 10.30am) so they couldn't give me a time. We drove an hour to my local hospital, through a&e again. I had called ahead and the EPAU fitted me in and scanned me and said it was a mmc. Sonographer was lovely, sister was lovely and I went home, my own decision.

I had v. heavy bleeding, had to go back to my local a&e twice the following Tuesday, and they admitted me the second time. I stayed two nights on a surgical ward (no gynae ward any more where we are, apparently), which was a relief tbh, as I was with women who had problems completely unrelated to mine, broken legs and hips and whatnot. I was under obs and gynae, so they managed what was happening, which was just observation and periodic blood tests. It was all fine.

My only problems were that the leaflet they gave me about natural miscarriage had no indication of what constituted too heavy bleeding, so I was bleeding very heavily for about 2.5 hours before we called the ambulance the second time. Also that they've given me a leaflet about women's health counselling which says it's in the 'nursery building', so I don't have to go back to where I was treated, which seems pretty stupid to me. And lastly that a&e and the EPAU didn't coordinate v. well, and I was told to go back for a scan the next day which EPAU then said wouldn't have happened as I needed to wait 7 days. But none of that's awful, and so far it's been fine.

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