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The most depressing PG test...

(38 Posts)
MistressofPemberley Wed 06-Jul-11 20:25:32

...is the one you have to take to get your BFN after mc.

Just bought one today; the girl kind of gave me an excited, conspiratorial look. I just smiled but in my head was going "it's really not what you think".

POAS in the morning. Have to ring results through to EPU. It's better than a blood test I guess.

I lurk on here since my mc a couple of weeks ago at 11 weeks pg. I'm feeling physically fine, bleeding has stopped, pretty sure I'm ovulating actually. Emotionally fine too until I remember that "oh yeah, I'm NOT having a baby in January anymore". This and the "was I ever pg? Did I dream it?" thoughts.

My thoughts are with all of you who are going through mcs at the moment.

AlbaRose Wed 06-Jul-11 21:38:29

Very true Mistress.
I Mc'd about 6 weeks ago. Found out I was PG on the Friday, by the Wednesday it was all over. I was 8 weeks.
There are good days and bad days and we just have to deal with it as best we can.
Thinking of you and everyone else going through this at the moment.

Catsycat Wed 06-Jul-11 22:12:21

Hi MistressofPemberley. I wondered how you were doing. I was also due in January, and yes, the worst thing for me at the moment is the sudden remembrance that I'm not pregnant now, or catching myself about to mention "when we have the baby", which of course won't happen now. AlbaRose, your experience sounds really hard too. Thinking of both of you (and the rest of us in this position). I'm hoping the good days will outnumber the bad ones one day...

I haven't been told to POAS, and I never had blood tests all the way through my pregnancy / mc. I was just discharged after the ERPC, and not told to do anything. Having seen some of the threads on here, I'm wondering if this is normal (don't let me hijack the thread though!).

puzzletree Wed 06-Jul-11 23:48:09

Hi all, and sorry for your losses. It's my first time posting on this board, was on the february 2012 antenatal thread but miscarried on sunday. Was just now thinking that I needed to buy a pregnancy test to get the BFN, and how I really didn't want to buy them in person to eye contact as you describe MistressofPemberley. Maybe I should buy a few in the hope to use one in the future for a BFP.
Catsycat I was told to test a week after the bleeding stops and only get in touch with EPU if the test is positive.

MistressofPemberley Thu 07-Jul-11 07:39:53

Well, POAS and a very faint positive. Might be too early I suppose. Only stopped bleeding at the weekend and I know it can take weeks to get a BFN.

It's horrible; 3 months ago a faint positive would have had me jumping for joy. Now it's just a pain as I want everything back to normal. Feels weird having hcg in my system, especially with the alcohol I've been consuming of late!

When's everyone trying again? I initially wanted to go for it straight away, but now I'm not so sure. Have a new job, well career actually starting in September which I'm very excited about. I'm seeing all the positives about not having a baby: no sleepless nights, no weight gain over summer (ahem), lots of booze, going to work and not getting bored out of my mind as a SAHM (I have 3 yo DS who would have been at home from end of term until school in September 2012 but will remain at nursery full-time from this september).

But deep deep down I yearn for %232, and am sad that the gap is getting bigger and bigger. Also read that women have more success with pgs if they conceive within 6 months of mc.

So much to think about. Again. Went through all this before getting pg in April.

Sorry for rant. And catsy, nice to see you. Don't be ridiculous about hijacking thread. We're all in this together.

Catsycat Thu 07-Jul-11 10:08:17

Thanks MistressofPemberley! I do feel I've been a bit "me, me, me" the last couple of weeks... Thanks for the info about testing Puzzletree, at least I know what that's about now.

I want to try again straight away, but only had ERPC on wednesday last week, so am still very slightly bleeding. I really wanted even gaps between my DCs, so in an ideal world would like to try ASAP, probably in August... Not sure about when AF would return though, and of course DH works away part of weach week, so not as if I have regular access to the vital product at all times!!!! Partly I was so pleased to have got pg in April because it happened on holiday, and I thought "well at least we were both in the same place at the right time..." Just have to see what happens I suppose.

MistressofPemberley do you mind me asking what you're going to be doing career-wise? Sounds exciting...

Honestly everyone on here has been fantastic - it's really helped in the last couple of weeks.

BlueCrane Thu 07-Jul-11 10:09:35

Morning ladies...So sorry to hear of your losses sad I had mmc found at 12 week scan at the end of May...ERPC 2 weeks later (so 4 weeks ago now) and only got a BFN 2 days ago...I'd got some cheapie internet tests left over so have been using those every few days to check and saw the lines get fainter until Tuesday when it wasn't there anymore. Was a relief to see only one line but there was a sad feeling of finality to it as well. Now really want AF to come so that we can crack on with TTC again. Physically I'm fine apart from all the weight I put on comfort eating after MMC but emotionally still up and down and it catches you unawares!

Really hope you all get a bfn soon too and we can all start moving forward. I'm on a great thread on the conception board for all those trying again after MC...come join us when you feel ready!

MistressofPemberley Thu 07-Jul-11 11:05:35

blue, same here with comfort eating (and comfort wine!). I'm about 11 lbs heavier than I was when I got pg in April. sad
Really depressing actually, especially as we're hoping to go on holiday soon.

catsy, my DH works abroad for 3 months at a time, so April was the first time the timing was right! Conceived on first attempt, so no probs with that bit. now I need to stay that way!

catsy, I've just finished studying. Done BA, MA, and PGCE since/while having DS, so for the last 5 years I've been a student! Have a teaching job in a local secondary school starting in September. It's a tough school but I love it (first placement was there), and I can't wait to get started. It was always a dilemma about how I was going to combine career and more babies, but I've proved to myself that I'm adept at juggling lots. Having said that, maternity leave in the NQT year is not the best idea, as your first year of teaching is a follow up to your PGCE, and it's best not to split them. I was going to of course, what with baby coming, and was going to wait for 12 wk scan before turning job down. I was going to cross the bridge of getting my NQT job when I came to it in however many years time. However now I've got the chance to go for it again, I feel excited and ambitious. But always broody too! I'll just have to be patient and wait (if I can!) for a year or so. Maybe things are meant to be this way for me. I'm 31 so hopefully can afford to wait a yr or so although after 2 mcs I'm more concerned than I used to be.

Woah! Sorry again for rambling on! blush

BlueCrane Thu 07-Jul-11 11:23:47

mistress If you think you'd be ok to be pregnant during your NQT year and the stress of it all wouldn't be too much then it's not too long to wait to time TTC for a post July 2012 due date so that you can get your NQT under your belt...and you'd still be TTC within the 'apparently more fertile 6 month window after MC' especially by the time your first AF has arrived post MC as that can take up to 8 weeks!

PieMistress Thu 07-Jul-11 11:51:00

Hi mistress, I know exactly what you mean about looking for the horrible horrible BFN after a m/c. Mine took 5.5 weeks (had some 'retained product)! And then AF arrived at 8 weeks. I did POAS every 3 days craving a negative test (cheapie ones from Amazon) then confirmed BFN with a CB. Seeing 'not pregnant' in writing really hurts sad

I was hoping to be one of the 'lucky' ones and conceive straight after my m/c but sadly not and am now on CD3 and a new month of TTC.

My thoughts are with you, and everybody else on this board (past and present) that have had to go through this. I was very upset last night as I was thinking about Christmas and said to DH that there will be somebody missing this year. Is that silly? Our baby was due just before Xmas.

I'm 40 next year so concerned that i'm now even more likely to have another m/c but all I can do is hope and pray it won't happen again.

Hope you get a BFN soon xx

puzzletree Thu 07-Jul-11 13:30:36

MistressofPemberley I hope you get the BFN soon, faint positive sounds like you shouldn't have to wait too long.

Might order some tests online now, where's the best place to get a pack of say 10 from??? I've always just used a cheap supermarket one for BFPs but that's when I've pretty much known I'm pregnant from symptoms already and only needed one test.

PieMistress Thu 07-Jul-11 16:07:19

puzzle I use these ones:

www.amazon.co.uk/Ultra-Early-10mIU-Pregnancy-strip/dp/B0026RTMX6/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1310051205&sr=8-7

puzzletree Thu 07-Jul-11 16:46:53

Thanks PieMistress, will order some.

faintpositive Thu 07-Jul-11 18:23:43

Big hugs to you all.

MistressofPemberley Fri 08-Jul-11 08:47:02

Hi faint, thanks for popping by. I've been reading your diary and my thoughts are with you.

Catsycat Fri 08-Jul-11 09:49:59

Hi MistressofPemberley. Thought it was probably teaching from the september start. It sounds great - lovely that you have something so challenging and fulfilling to look forward to. Like BlueCrane says, you could always TTC part way into the year... Well done for making it through the PGCE year - I only got halfway through before I was hospitalised with gallstones (of all things!) and missed too much to catch up within the year. I didn't have the heart to start again - maybe once the DC are in school, though will be a bit long in the tooth by then (am 38 now)!

PieMistress I don't think that's silly at all. I had already planned going on holiday with the baby next year, and thought of some of the things we'd do together. There will definitely be someone missing - it makes me feel very sad.

Mama5isalive Fri 08-Jul-11 10:26:35

Big hugs to you all - i feel like a "thread crawler" but i refer to come on these threads then popping onto my old " Jan 2012" thread hearing all the happy news of positive scans and bigger bellies!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi CC - hope your doing ok today!!!!! being in the late 30's is hard im wondering if thats the reason i MC its an awful thought and i just could not handle it again!!!!!!

puzzletree Fri 08-Jul-11 11:07:14

Mama5, I'm the same, reading the threads on here but the feb 2012 thread is still there in my 'threads i'm on'. Really must get off the computer and do something productive, just so lacking in motivation. Hopefully we'll all get through this ok but it will take time.
And yes risk of MC does increase with age but as a random event it can happen at any age, there's no reason why a future pregnancy would not be successful for you when/if you're ready to try again. I really need to have the chat with DP, this pregnancy wasn't planned and although I would dearly love a 3rd child he was never keen so I'm scared to suggest we try again...

MistressofPemberley Fri 08-Jul-11 17:53:41

puzzle and mama, I know how you feel. No place for me on any thread! Not TTC yet, not mcing anymore, not due in jan 2012 sad
grin at "thread crawler".
My DS has suddenly adopted an imaginary baby sister! Sweet and makes me a bit sad at times. I worry about him being lonely which is silly as he goes to nursery full time.

Happy Friday all.

Catsycat Fri 08-Jul-11 20:14:07

Hi all, nice to see you're still here.

Went shopping today - first trip out to Evesham with the DDs (now very tired and have an aching back - bloody ME has come back with a vengeance I think!). Went into Home Bargains and they had super-cheap pg & ovulation tests, so I bought a load (also 4 bottles of Veet at bargain price - check out guy probably thinks I look like a monkey under my leggings!). POAS at tea time, and got BFN sad - haven't even stopped bleeding yet...

Just wondered what this meant - is it likely I'll ovulate / have AF soon, does BFN not have bearing on this? Does anyone know? Any idea when I should try the ovulation tests, or should I not bother till after AF returns?

On a lighter (and irrelevant) note, hope this will make you laugh - went into Savers for a few bits, and turned away from DD2 (18 months old, and in our buggy) to ask someone where they keep olive oil (DH has taken to washing his face with it confused) and when I turned back DD2 had an eyeliner in her hand. I took it off her and put it back on the shelf. When I got home, the DDs were playing, and DD1 suddenly says "look what I found in her trousers" holding up another eyeliner!!!!!! Well, goodness knows what she was doing looking in DD2's trousers, or how DD2 shoved it down there, but I was so embarrassed. DD1 realised we hadn't paid for it, so I had to explain how that was wrong, and to make an example I phoned the shop to let them know what had happened and that I'd bring it back next week blush. The shop assistant was pretty suprised / confused to get the phone call. Still cringing now!!!!!!!!!!

Mistressof Pemberley know how you feel on the baby sister front. DD2 told me on Monday how she wants another baby sister, we were sitting in the car DH had accidentally parked outside Mamas & Papas; by the time he came back to the car I was in tears sad

At least its the weekend!!!!

Catsycat Fri 08-Jul-11 20:15:37

Not sure what happened to the emoticons in previous post - they seem to have come out as text.... confused

puzzletree Sat 09-Jul-11 08:32:58

Hi everyone. Is this our 'fallen off the bus: bruised and bewildered' thread then?
I'm awaiting my HPTs in the post, keen to test now you've got a negative Catsycat. MistressofPemberley have you tested again yet? I ordered some cheap ovulation tests too to attempt to get a grip on my cycle asap and feel some sense on control. I've never used them before as have a pretty regular cycle normally and have luckily conceived easily in the past.

It's interesting that both your children are talking about baby sisters. My DS1 was asking the other month when I would grow a baby girl in my tummy (I have 2 boys)? Then I got unexpectedly pregnant and from before I knew it, my DS2 was very clingy, he's a mummy's boy anyway. Was really hoping my mild symptoms this pregnancy were due to carrying a girl, although I 'knew' it was really because the pregnancy was failing. Anyway, it's all made me think that we may have a lot more instinct than I thought before, I'm a bit of a sceptic about that stuff usually.

Catsycat your 'shoplifting' experience must have been so embarrassing!!!!! I'm sure it happens to lots of parents, but you did the right thing, sure it won't happen again!

Take care all and I hope you have good weekends.

MistressofPemberley Sat 09-Jul-11 09:28:33

Morning!

Lol at catsy's DD already being a full on tea leaf! Had to google Evesham as these shops you speak of ring no bells! Thought you must be a northerner! Been to Hereford once, so have a rough idea where you are. And BFN already. Wow. I'm loathe to try again as the bastard pg tests cost me a fiver for 2. Maybe Monday.

My mate is trying; she's desperately broody but no cigar as yet. Have given her my Zita West book; it's 100% lucky! On the proviso she gives it back when I'm ready to TTC of course!

So, had said best mate and her DP last night for curry and beer and am ashamed to say I'm horrendously hungover blush. Had a couple of cheeky vodkas at the end of the night which ruined me. Actually, she drinks like a fish too which may not be helping Project Make a Baby.

DS is downstairs watching Dora and eating cheerios whilst I languish in bed. Bad, bad mummy. I blame the hcg still left in my system hmm.

You must read some of the AIBU posts on MN if you're ever at a loose end. Awful. People get ripped to shreds.

Right, I'm rambling incoherently. Still drunk methinks. Hope y'all are ok today.

Catsycat Sat 09-Jul-11 10:16:47

Hi all!

Puzzletree, yes this is our 'fallen off the bus: bruised and bewildered' thread - well it seems like it. I only had mild symptoms this time too - now I know why, but I thought it was because I was having a boy, having had really bad nausea with the girls. I tried ov tests with DD2, but they never said I ovulated, so I assmed I hadn't, got really worried, then turned out I'd got BFP that month anyway. Not sure why I bought them really confused except, as you say to try and get a handle on things.

DH is now calling DD2 "Klepto", so that's nice!!!! Might handcuff her to the buggy next time we go out grin.

MistressofPemberley, I am a proper northerner (Yorkshire), but I defected! Evesham is a lovely little town, but most of the shops have shut. We have a mass of discount /£ shops, hence 3 pg tests for 99p, 5 ov tests for 99p!!! Not surprised you hadn't heard of our shops! Anyway, sounds like you had a good night last night - well done!

Did another of my cheapo dipstick pg tests first thing, and there was possibly the very faintest shadow of a line, but tbh I can't say for sure because I couldn't even see it in some lights, so taking it as confirmation of BFN. Oh well...

puzzletree Sat 09-Jul-11 19:40:33

Hello again. My tests arrived and I got a BFP but not a super strong one. Bleeding's been heavier and clotty again today too sad
Catsycat where are you from in Yorkshire? I'm in Leeds, had a day out in the sun today at a local festival, and family came over to celebrate DS2s 3rd birthday.
MistressofPemberley hope the hangover's cleared up, must feel strange getting drunk after a few sober months. Hope your friend gets pregnant soon, perhaps you could end up pregnant together.

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