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What can I do?

(5 Posts)
blueeyedmonster Wed 15-Jun-11 20:28:35

My friend had her 20 wk scan this week and there was a problem with her baby's brain. They had a second scan today and the ventricles have doubled size in the last two days and there is other stuff. Basically she is going to lose the baby as far as I can gather. She will also have to give birth too. I am absolutley devestated for them.

What can I do? What is the best thing to do? I'm not going to text or ring tonight as she is in tears as can be imagined.

The thing is I am also pregnant (1st trimester). I don't want to do anything to make her feel bad.

muncaster Wed 15-Jun-11 20:36:37

my brother and his GF lost their baby when she was 20 weeks, and I had a newborn baby. It is natural (although wrong) to feel guilty that everything going/went ok and for a while I avoided seeing them as I didnt have a clue what to say (which I am ashamed of now). We have since had conversations where she has told me she wished people would have mentioned it instead of avoiding the situation and avoiding her. I think you should make sure she knows your there if she needs you and also try to involve her as you would have in your pregnancy. My SIL loves spending time with my dd

blueeyedmonster Wed 15-Jun-11 20:58:10

Thank you muncaster. I'll drop her a line tomorrow and tell her I am here for her. I can't believe she is going through this sad

muncaster Wed 15-Jun-11 21:24:06

Just make sure that you don't worry your way through your pregnancy, try to enjoy it!!

blueeyedmonster Wed 15-Jun-11 21:47:03

Thank you, that's what dp said too!

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