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My story, thoughts and concerns. Long post. Sorry. :)

(7 Posts)
applecheeks21 Mon 13-Jun-11 12:24:59

Hi - I wanted to share my M/C with you and also ask why I had so little information/guidance.

About 2 weeks ago, I started with some light brown spotting. Thought nothing of it, expected something like this in early preggo and carried on. Went camping and had a lovely time. As we got back, the spotting changed from red to brown, got heavier and I became worried.

I ended up heading to A & E where I was duly sent to the emergency gynae ward where I was seen by nurses several times. I had a scan and told the horrid news that the baby had stopped growing at about 6 weeks (they thought) and the pregnancy sac was there and looked the size it should be at nearly 12 weeks. They could not confirm if the egg had stopped completely and so was booked for another scan a week later to confirm this (I knew it meant it had and that the chances of it being viable were VERY slim)

I was sent away in floods of tears knowing that it was definitely not viable as I knew I had my dates right though they were saying that in a few cases, dates can be wrong and it could be ok.

That night I started with heavy cramping and some bleeding. I suppose I expected that. Pain was controlled by ibuprofen and paracetamol. Ok. The next day, I thought it was all over, carried on as normal. Same bleeding and some pain but to be expected. The next day, we decided to head home to see my parents as I was very sad and needed to be somewhere I felt super comfortable and looked after (my husband is ace and we like being at my folks house). All was ok, went to see MIL first where we chatted about what had happened and how sorry she was (she was very upset).

I'd had quite a lot of pain that day and my MIL noticed I was struggling but I carried on. We headed to my parents, got there and as I ran into the kitchen (I knew something was wrong), I haemorrhaged all over the kitchen and hall, ran to the bathroom and screamed. It was AWFUL. I certainly had not expected that. My dad set to cleaning up the hall and kitchen while my husband made tea (How much tea have we drunk over the last week or so!?). I got sorted, changed and managed to eat dinner. We were very relaxed by now, clean and ready for bed. I even had a glass of wine! It was horrid though and so unexpected. WHY was I not told this MAY happen? Even just a little warning or idea?

The next day, more pain, but this time utterly horrific. Like someone was twisting a knife into my stomach over and over again. Eventually, I could take NO more. I was sweating, being sick and in a horrid place. My parents were worried!

Ended up in A and E again, with a drip, morphine (hallelujah!) and nil by mouth! It turned out this was the main part of the m/c. I was transferred to another hospital with a gynae unit where I was examined. I went to the toilet while there and passed a large amount of product (had passed some before) and the nurse told me she thought that was it and could they send off the tissue to be tested? I said YES! Of course. Upon further examination and scans a few days later, it was confirmed that the m/c was complete, my cervix was closed and womb getting back to normal.

A week after all this, I have almost stopped bleeding, certainly stopped crying and now all I do is ask questions. Why did it happen, did I do something wrong and WHY was I not given any advice about what could happen if the m/c was to start normally after the first scan.

Why did no one give me any info, any pads or any advice? I just don't understand. What if I had gone back to work and haemorrhaged at work in a classroom?

I also don't know why people think because m/c is so 'common' it is just dismissed? Why are no tests being done? Why can we not have answers?

More needs to be done.

I am glad I have shared my story and my thoughts.

I am still off work - can't shift the thoughts of what did I do? Why did it happen? I worry about crying in front of one of my classes. I've been told to take as much time as I need. I will. But I also need normality. I will go back to work next week, I am sure.

Sorry for the length of the post

Thank you to all the people who looked after me

sunshinesue Mon 13-Jun-11 14:35:42

My recent experience is a lot less traumatic than yours but I still feel let down by not being forwarned about what may happen.

I was 9 weeks and I'd had spotting on and off since the start. I'd mentioned this to both my gp and mw and was told spotting is very common but that if a pregnancy is not meant to be nothing can be done to stop an early miscarriage. Sit tight and keep your fingers crossed, fine. Weds night I was rushed to A&E with severe pains (they suspected an ectopic but it wasn't). I had a scan and the pregnancy was dated at no more than 5 weeks (not possible) so I knew there was no chance. I was kept in for 2 nights because of the pain.

I completely understand that the NHS has finite resources and that nothing can be done to stop an early miscarriage but feel that carrying a pregnancy that hadn't developed for more than 4 weeks and ending up in hospital for 2 nights was completely avoidable. I'd have been happy to stump up the £100 for a scan myself if a I'd known there was even a small chance of what happned to me.

My thoughts are with you and your OH

applecheeks21 Mon 13-Jun-11 14:44:09

Thank you sunshine

Sorry to hear about your loss too.

I just think that m/c should be taken far more seriously. I will be ignoring my doc and mw in future if any bleeding or pain and head straight for the emergency gynae unit.

I also think we should be given more info about how to cope AND more research should be done about mc - just because they are common doesn't mean they should be dismissed.

I hope you're feeling better. x

mistlethrush Mon 13-Jun-11 14:54:11

Sorry for your loss Apple. I hope you feel you are able to get things back together soon.

I had a different story - same sort of start - but scanned immediately and then recommended ERPC due to the possibility of heavy blood loss like you experienced.

Other issues clouded mine - like being asked in the middle of the night (when my husband had been sent to see if he could find a hotel room in a strange town on a bank holiday weekend) what the matter was by a nurse who heard me sobbing (fgs, read the notes) - and not having the report passed onto my Drs - which would have sorted the aftermath out more acceptably.

The hurt does get less, and you find you think about it less often. Time is a great healer, I know its a cliche - but when it hurts so much its good to know that it wont be so bad in time.

stmalo Mon 13-Jun-11 20:26:36

I couldn't agree more, there needs to be more research done. I still feel like my miscarriage has been treated like the flu, and I simply can't accept that miscarriage's just happen, and that baby's just don't make it - there has to be a problem, a chemical problem and oxygen problem, a placenta problem etc etc etc Why is there so little resarch?
I had a show at 9 weeks, and couldn't get hold of the gp or the pregnancy clinic, so I took myself to the clinic at the hospital only to be told I shouldn't have put myself in the situation where I had to wait around ..... HMMM - Well I had a scan and everything was fine. Then at 13.5 weeks I had another scan and all was fine and placenta was fine and baby was fine - and then I miscarried at 14.5 weeks. No explanation, nothing ..... but i can try again - hmmmmm........

stmalo Mon 13-Jun-11 20:29:07

by the way - I'm sorry you've had such a tough time apple, it will take time to get your head straight, you'll cope with work - us girlies are tough cookies when it comes to coping. xx

applecheeks21 Mon 13-Jun-11 20:39:49

With you all the way stmalo I'm sorry you went through what you did. Its horrid isn't it.

I will go back to work next week, head held high, smile on and work hard like I do. We can try again pretty much now so bring on the sexy undies ;-) (Sorry TMI!)

Lets campaign for more research. It should happen so mc's are not just brushed aside.


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