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Every single day is a bonus, but everysingle day is so long.

(12 Posts)
thighslapper Sun 12-Jun-11 14:28:51

Got bfp a week ago, very faint.
did another test today, very veyr faint still.

BUT no bleeding
no pain.
sore boobs and feeling queasy.

Ive been here SO many times before. Im just taking every single day as it comes. Whe i get to bed time and ive seen no bleeding...and believe me im checking every frigging 10 minutes, i think, ok, thats another day and every things ok.

How to get through these days which drag on and on is so fucking hard, and every other woman just takes it for granted....wish i was able to relax and enjoy like normal women do.
sad

Shhhh Sun 12-Jun-11 16:01:24

Oh I feel for you.. believe me I do.
Having had x2 mc's before we were bless with dd and then ds I so recall those sad days.

Keep positive, keep active and your mind on other things. It will and does help. With dd I finished work at around 5/6 months as I found it more stressful and frustrating sitting about. I wanted to be at home where I could come and go as I pleased.

Im keeping my fingers crossed for you.

We are ttc baby3, been 6 months since we started... unless they have experienced loss like we have noone totally...

People don't always know that:
a.its so fecking hard to make a baby
b.Its so fecking hard to grow and hold onto that baby

I hope you will have your baby safe and well in 8 ish months. Hugs xxx

Shhhh Sun 12-Jun-11 16:02:24

btw, you have good pregnancy signs atm. Keep your feet up and give the baby good endorphines smile.

Shhhh Sun 12-Jun-11 16:05:25

btw,forgot to add. I finsihed work with dd at about 5/6 months AND I took the first 3 months off work sick. So in all I spent about 1/2 months in work pregnant.

Yeah,my employer wasn't so keen but given my history neither me or dh were wanting to risk anything. Dh wanted me in cotton wool (bless..smile) and I wasn't going to argue. I wanted this baby more than anything.

Sometimes you have to look after number 1 wink x

thighslapper Sun 12-Jun-11 17:03:29

Well tbh work takes my mind off it all as it is so 100% full on every hour/day so i litterally do not have time to think or linger.

IME it really doesnt matter what i do or dont do, if its going to be ok, it will be, if its not, it wont. There is absolutely feck all i can do ti influence the outcome.
I ALWAYS have good pregnancy signs, and i ALWAYS miscarry anyway SO, i have little faith and little hope.

But as you rightly say, its about 10% there to even get pregnant as its 17 months since my last mc. We have been trying ever since.
Never thought it would happen and i had just resigned myslef to the fact that i would never have a baby. Im 40 now.

BUT smilegrin here i am 10% there......whoop whoop smile

Shhhh Sun 12-Jun-11 17:48:12

didn't mean to come across that you need to do certain things to keep the pregnancy.. sorry if I did.

You are right, if its meant to be it will be but there is no harm in taking it easy. Personally I found that I needed to be wrapped in cotton wool. Im a highly strung person and do things at 10000 mph and just slowed down once I got pregnant. Although I agree its not always possible or the solution I just wanted to do all I could.

Luckily I haven't returned to work since having dd 6 years ago and had ds nearly 2 years after dd, its not easy to relax with baby2 with you have a mad toddler around!

Like you said,you are a small way there........... keep going xx

thighslapper Sun 12-Jun-11 17:55:10

ahhh you have 2 babies, thats fab, that gives me lots of hope thanks x

Please dont think i was being shirty, i understand what you had to do for you 100%.
I have just adopted this mentality of resignation for my fate because if i think that i am in any way at all, in even the smallest way responsible for all of my losses, i would find a building and jump right off it sad

I have done everything, no alcohol, everything decafinated, healthy diet, folic acid, multivits, no meidcations, slow down, dont get stressed by outside stressors....and still i miscarry.

BUT this time, i SO need it to work and to be ok.

sigh sad

Shhhh Sun 12-Jun-11 18:56:42

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, it really is in the hand of our maker.sad.

As hard as it is. Yes, you should take comfort from my lo's. I remember feeling like you do and feeling I would never have my babies. It was actually at my least stressed when I conceived dd (honeymoon) and ds (hol again for dh's 30th) and my consultant who I saw prior to getting pregnant with dd who told me to go away, move house,get a pet,get married and have a holiday. We did everything !

BUT that said,im as broody as hell now.. I know I have 2 but I so long for a 3rd. I have discussed ivf with dh but he isn't keen but I just don't feel like my baby bearing days are done with. Maybe I can't accept it! I also know, given my history that I could mc again. Sad what us women go through.

Don;t worry, I didn't think you were being shirty. Just didn't want you to think I was anything other than positive about your current situation.

BTW,you are pregnant.. keep positive ! A positive mind counts for alot, as hard as it can be keeping positive you really need to!

How many mc's have you had..? have you been investigated.?
also just reread your inital post.. sadly you will not relax at all throughout this or any pregnancy. I envy women who get pregnant and carry on as normal not fearing every twinge or wet feeling.
I thought I would relax once dd was born but sadly didn't. That opened a new can of worms for me and dh and we then felt blessed with out little girl and that we would loose her somewhere down the line.
Same when pregnant with ds, sadly ds was born with a bowel condition so had numerous op's etc. Medically he is corrected BUT I still fear for him 4 years on.

I guess I know how precious babies are and how easily when you have always wanted can be taken away.

Positive note, my friend experienced around 8 mc's. She ended up having ivf, now has twin boys smile.

thighslapper Sun 12-Jun-11 21:26:56

5 mcs,

all investigations normal.

IVF not a possibility, im nearly 41.

I have a 7 year old whois my little angel smile

SlightlyScrambled Mon 13-Jun-11 12:21:31

My miscarriage hasn't been confirmed yet but is looking very likely. The waiting is tearing me up. You're not alone.

I'm back in tomorrow to see if the sac is still empty. It wasn't at week 7 but it didn't look like it was 7 weeks old.

I redid a pregnancy test yesterday and the line is very faint. I should be 10 weeks today and still am nauseous every day for the whole day. It just seems so wrong to have pregnancy symptoms when I'm most likely not anymore.

I'm back for another scan tomorrow and dreading it. I'm not ready for the news that I know is coming. I want this to have a happy ending.

I hope things work out for you thighslapper.

thighslapper Mon 13-Jun-11 16:37:09

hi slightly, i feel for you, ive been there lots of times.
3 of my miscarriages were what you desribe, an empty sac or "blighted ovum".
Thats the awful thing, i also felt very pregnant right up until near the end, then suddenly these symptoms stopped.
will be thinking of you tomorrow x

SlightlyScrambled Thu 16-Jun-11 18:50:21

Hi thighslapper. I thought I should let you know the outcome of my scans.
On tuesday the MW could see the fetus but not the heartbeat. She asked me to come back later for a doctor to look with the ultrasound. I came back but hadn't a full bladder this time and doctor couldn't see anything. She diagnosed a blighted ovum.

The MW was just as confused as me as we had seen a fetus so she sent me to the hospital for an internal scan.

I had that yesterday and there is a 9w3d old baby. With heartbeat and movement.

I can't figure out why the test was so faint, I did two last week and the line was barely visible. Different brands too.

Fingers crossed for you too.

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