I read a post a little while ago from a poster who'd miscarried for the first time and was sick of people telling her about their miscarriage experience- especially as they already had children when they miscarried.
I was struck at how unfair this post was. I have just miscarried for the first time after having a dc 2 years ago. The pain, guilt and the loss of a lot of hopes and dreams could not be any greater. I understand that at least I have a child, so I don't have the worry that I might not be able to have children. But it still hurts so much and i worry that my dc will never have the experience of growing up with a sibling.
My point is that it's a traumatic event for everyone and this is not negated just because one might already have a child. Miscarriage is miscarriage...
I'm sick of being told how lucky I am at time when I feel sooooo crap.
Awe, baby, I totally know what you mean. I think some people just have a rant about how they are feeling at the time, and may well realise later on that it might have come across to others as insensitive. Mumsnet forums are so good for letting off steam, there's always support out there during the good and the bad days. But, yeah, I guess I'd like to think I'd still be mindful of others when letting of my steam.
I agree with you though, it doesn't matter whether you've already got children, everyone's experience of miscarriage is 'their own experience', noone else's.
It hurts whether you have 0, or 5, children. And it hurts in different ways for different reasons. My DD is almost 15. Having had an ectopic last year and, more recently, a missed miscarriage, I am angry at myself for leaving the decision to have another so late, and fear I may never give her a sibling now.
Whatever your situation, miscarriage is an awful thing to deal with. I really hope you start having brighter days soon, and am wishing you lots of luck in the future for your hopes of that second child xxx