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Advice..?

(5 Posts)
babytantrums Thu 26-May-11 22:31:55

I found out on Tuesday (thankfully 1 day before my 12 week scan) that I had a missed miscarriage. The baby had stopped growing at about 6 weeks 2 days. I'm so annoyed with myself for not insisting that there was something wrong - I bled brownish blood, turning bright red the whole way through the 12 weeks and 5 days I thought I was pregnant and knew there was something wrong, but stupidly ignored it. (Apparently this is a symptom of a missed miscarriage) I know that there was nothing that could be done to stop it, but the shock of finding out that i had been thinking for 6 weeks that I was healthy and pregnant when I wasn't was horrible.

Anyway, I'm booked in for the first pill at the weekend and then the pessary a couple of days later. I know that they say that you shouldn't be alone, so my husband is driving me up and back, but he works from home and is planning to work that day. I also have a 2 year old who I have to look after. I really want things to be as normal as possible for all of us. Am I being naive thinking that I can look after her and cope with the miscarriage? My husband will be around, just not in the same room. It's very difficult to know what to expect.

I'm also supposed to work a couple of days later - physically, will I be up to it? One of my colleagues is 7 months pregnant, but I saw her today and it was strangely okay as I was able to divorce her situation from mine. Wonder if it'll be the same next week? I still feel pregnant (sac continued to grow) so maybe it hasn't set in yet.

I also found out today that my immunity to Rubella is very low so I have to be vaccinated before I try to get pregnant again and was advised that I shouldn't try for 3 months after I have the injection. I'm getting on a bit, and it took quite a long time to get pregnant with this one. 3 months seems interminable. My research on the internet has told me that there is little risk in getting pregnant straight after the vaccination and the chances of this happening straight away are so low that I'm thinking of just going for it. How can my immunity have gone down so much since my first pregnancy 2 years ago?! How does that just happen?

Sorry for the aimless rambling - there's so much going on in my head at the moment and none of it makes any sense!

igggi Thu 26-May-11 23:16:09

Hello, and sorry to hear your awful news.
I will just address one part of your post if that's ok, and it isn't really what you are wanting to hear - I don't think there is any way you can mind your dc while going through this, and as there is a father I can't see why you should try to. If you have to stay jolly for the sake of your toddler I think it will make things harder for you in the long-run - we all deserve at least a day or two of full-on grieving! I would not have been physically or mentally able to work for a week after either.
I'm saying this as I think you need to go easy on yourself at such a difficult time.

igggi Thu 26-May-11 23:16:09

Hello, and sorry to hear your awful news.
I will just address one part of your post if that's ok, and it isn't really what you are wanting to hear - I don't think there is any way you can mind your dc while going through this, and as there is a father I can't see why you should try to. If you have to stay jolly for the sake of your toddler I think it will make things harder for you in the long-run - we all deserve at least a day or two of full-on grieving! I would not have been physically or mentally able to work for a week after either.
I'm saying this as I think you need to go easy on yourself at such a difficult time.

babytantrums Thu 26-May-11 23:37:16

Thanks igggs. I think I've just started to miscarry anyway. I have cramps, blood has just started pouring out of me very unexpectedly and I've felt some large clots. Will I know when it's gone? Is it that straight forward?

Thanks again for your reply- I really appreciate it.

igggi Fri 27-May-11 10:45:06

sad
At 6ish weeks, you may just pass clots or you might pass a pregnancy sac. When I did that, the bleeding stopped for a few hours and I had pain around cervix before the sac came out. Not as scary as it might sound.
Took a few days in total.
Take care x

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