Need help, im torturing myself for some reason!

[Vix1980]

This is going to sound so stupid, i had a mc 2 weeks ago, it happened the weekend of my birthday which was the day i had planned to tell my side of the family. My partners famly would of been finding out this weekend as its his dads birthday (we had planned to get a grandad card and sign it with a question mark).

The thing is i feel absolutely fine about the mc (were having a month off then trying again so feel ok with that) but im absolutely hating the fact all these dates are passing me by when id imagined sharing my good news with everyone, its really hard sitting there and all i want to say is hey guess what..... but now i have nothing to share. i spent his brothers birthday last night listening to his mum tell me how much she wants grandkids (we didnt tell her anything at all about pg or mc), so i came home in tears! shes not sympathetic at all and a bit selfish so she wouldnt of probably stopped if she had known anyway, but things people say to me effect me way too much, sorry for rambling but does anyone else think about the things they should/would have been doing if they were pregnant, or am i just weird??

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

No vix you are not weird at all. Its still very early days and you have every right to be in tears.

Really hope the TTC goes well for you.

[LIG1979]

Hello Vix.
Glad you are doing well. (I was LauraInGuildford but changed my name as didn't want a friend from work recognising me.) I think for me the most difficult thing has been the change in plans as my plans were all around my pregnancy. But now I am focusing on all the things I can do now I am not pregnant like trying to go to a wedding in San Diego that I couldn't go to as it was around my due date.

However, whilst I am feeling fine I think the things that hit me are when people say 'when are you two planning on having kids' which was almost funny when we were pregnant and not telling anyone but now just causes pain. However, the most difficult thing was hearing my BIL were expecting another baby (their little boy is only 8 months old) and then they had the nerve to say (i assume to make us feel better) that they weren't trying. I think I've got to accept that I will feel better and then people will unintentionally trigger hurt feelings and I will just have to deal with it.

Got a BFN yesterday so I'm starting to think about TTC again now.

Good to hear from you and glad you are ok - I wondered what happened to you and hoped that it was good news rather than bad. x

[Vix1980]

Hi,
im so glad your doing good too, i went back to the hospital on friday last week and was told i had my bfn there so it was some kind of closure for me really,but having to sit there while people say oh when are you 2 going to have kids is a nightmare, and yeah i know what you mean when i waspg andpeople would say it its like a little private joke you have with your partner,now though arrgghhh!!!!! ive not had anyone say there pg yet to me though, i realy dont know how ill react if they did? i feel totally fine about having a mc, i just put it down to bad luck, its jut the thinking of things i would have been doing that i cant get my head around.

i have a family dinner to go to with his family today, i know his mum is in a grandparenty kind of mood and im not feeling so great about it, i may just end up blurting out what has happened if she goes on and on as i expect, she likes a drink or two so theres no shutting her up when she starts!

Im trying to stay positive about it - i can now buy a new bed for me instead of a cot, and ill be able to drink at my uncles wedding without having to hide the reason why for a bit longer etc but its just the dates that are doing my head in, i know it will get easier as time passes but right now just feel like i dont even want to go out to the things we have planned cos ill be sat there feeling miserable,god to know im not on my own tho xx