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What to tell you children when you miscarry?

(7 Posts)
PureBloodMuggle Tue 04-Jan-11 17:45:44

They didn't know I was pregnant and I think to tell them anything about the miscarriage would be the wrong thing to do (they are 4 and just 7) as it'd be difficult for them to understand and also they might ask lots of questions many which i'm asking myself and there is no answer to.

But i'm sad and I've been in hospital for 2 days and I will be going back next week for a D&C so they know something has happened.

daisytaylor Tue 04-Jan-11 18:24:54

Hi there i am so sorry you are going through this. Sadly i have had to explain to my children twice as both times we thought all was well. My elsest took really bad both times and this time we chose not to say a word although my eldest suspects something is happening. But i have to say they did come to terms with it quite well in the end. I have spoken to a few mums about this from the school who have also mc and they all said they chose not to say anything and one who went into hospital said she was having a problem with her apendix but it was ok after a few days.
If you feel it would be better to tell them then do so as i think kids can handle more than we give them credit for but as mums we don't want to see them upset and sometimes i don't think it hurts to tell a few white lies to stop them getting upset.
I am in the middle of another possible mc and i have chosen this time to tell them i have an upset stomach but mummy is fine. And after having to visit the hospital this morning i told them the doctors want to make sure mummy is doing ok as that is what doctors are for.
I really hope this is of some help to you. You do what you feel most happy and comfortable with. I hope all goes ok next week and there are plenty of women on here offering support.

PureBloodMuggle Tue 04-Jan-11 19:17:29

It is a help thank you.

I'm am so sorry to hear that you been through this twice and i truely hope it doesn't happen to you again

My mother in law has taken for a 'holiday' at her house tonight, I'm in so much discomfort and so emotional I don't think I could pass it off as anything else

daisytaylor Tue 04-Jan-11 19:36:39

You poor thing, at least you have some family on hand to help and support you. It is so hard to go through this and try and be normal for the kids sake.
Get yourself a cup of tea and some painkillers and curl up in bed or under a blanket in front of the tv. I know it won't take the emotional pain away but you should rest and having a really good cry i found did help me.
If you want or need someone to talk to i am on and off here alot throughout the day and evening so please feel free to ask me anything or just to chat. Sending big hugs to you xx

MummyAbroad Tue 04-Jan-11 21:11:06

I am so sorry for your loss. I chose to tell my DS but he is only 2! so I dont think he really understood or will remember anyway.

Have you read this?

www.pregnancyloss.info/dealing_with_others.htm#chi ldren

take care xxx

lionmummy Tue 04-Jan-11 21:55:52

I lost my baby in the summer at 18 weeks, my dcs (2 & 4) were very excited about a baby arriving at Christmas. I focused on the practicals and told them that there was so much happening at Christmas time with Father Christmas comign etc etc that we would have to choose another time that was more convenient for a baby to come. My 4 year old did ask a few times over Christmas as to 'when the baby was coming' but they had lost interest a bit by December.
Sorry to hear that you're going through this, hope you are being looked after. Sending you big hugs.

PureBloodMuggle Tue 04-Jan-11 23:04:51

At 18 weeks lionmummy, ny heart breaks for you. Truely awful.

Thanks for that link MummyAbroad

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