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Recurrent Buns - Miscarriage Testing and Beyond! Part three..!

(954 Posts)
Julezboo Tue 23-Nov-10 12:52:49

Not so imaginative as lunatic !

Part One HERE

Part Two HERE

There are a mixture of Pg ladies, new BFP's (YAY) and new ladies who have sadly had to join us and are going through testing. Lots of OMW's and hand holding here!

Sit down, grab a cushion and a hot choc and get comfortable.

stillfrazzled Tue 23-Nov-10 14:00:22

Marking my place - thanks for doing this, Julez.

Have just skim-read bits of the first thread and it's amazing to see how much has changed.

Broken where are you? Have you peed on further sticks? How are you feeling now?

EVeryone else - hope to see you all here shortly.

Nowt much to report, DS kept home from nursery because woke up crying at 5am with cough like a Victorian chimney sweep. Has not had one single symptom since I told him he could stay at home. Little shyster...

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts Tue 23-Nov-10 14:20:02

Hello all on the shiny new thread.

Just grabbing my cushion

sf my DD can put on an almighty cough if she needs to and she's only 2.8!

She was burning up an hour ago and in a foul mood so I stuck some calpol in her and put a film on and snuggled with a blanket, now she's running round drawing and playing with her scooter!

My bathroom is completely finished grin grin

Julezboo Tue 23-Nov-10 14:22:01

lol frazzled my DS has done the same today! I just sent him up for a nap!

MummyinEngland Tue 23-Nov-10 14:30:56

<<starts a roaring fire and hands out hot coccoa to everyone>>

lovely comfy new thread! Thanks!

coconuts I had a gynecologist shake her head at me just a few weeks ago and say "the prognosis for Ashermans is very bad. If you have it you are very unlikely to be fertile again" Yah boo sucks to her! She was wrong!! I think a bad prognosis/lack of treatment is just the sign of an ingnorant doctor, forget what they said and move on! Your instinct not to give up is absolutely to be trusted! How about buying a book on the subject and learning about what can or cant be done for yourself.

If memory serves me correctly LadyB has PCOS and is treated for it with metaformin (sorry if I have got that wrong, I think it was her)
She pops by on this thread and is also on the JustMCPackyoucake thread too.
Dontgiveup! Dontgiveup! Dontgiveup! grin

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts Tue 23-Nov-10 14:39:04

mummy thanks I won't give up but I just feel like everyone else has given up for me on my behalf. IYSWIM.

She really was ignorant and rude.

I have a book. I eat healthy. I'm not overweight. I exercise.

Anyway, I am being referred to gynae but not fertility as "I don't meet the criteria" so hopefully they can do something.

GP said Metformin and Clomid are only "handed out" to ladies older than me, with no children and who have been trying longer.

The thing is though, my periods are completely absent, I don't ovulate so technically we aren't TTC because my body doesn't work to enable us to.

Just feel like crying.

GAH, noW I'M BEING SELFISH. oops caps sorry.

MummyinEngland Tue 23-Nov-10 16:34:25

No, you are not being selfish. You are bound to feel down after a crappy appointment, and if you are not getting the treatment you deserve because of "the system" then that really is unfair. Perhaps like me your lack of periods will help you get the treatment you need, like you said its a health issue not fertility issue (and as long as it gets treated, who cares which it is!)
I am sure that if I had had the slightest bleed I would have been fobbed off too. When is your referral for? Might I suggest that if having a health problem is the only way to get treated you lie through your teeth be selective with the truth about what bleeding you do or dont have? Also some doctors seems to be more sympathetic than others, so you still have the option of trying elsewhere.

By the way, it took me a couple of days to get over a rubbish appointment, hope its quicker for you. xxx

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts Tue 23-Nov-10 16:40:20

I am quite prepared to bend the truth a little if it means getting taken seriously. I haven't had a bleed now for 6 months, not a single thing, and I was told that is the amount of time you need to go without one until you are referred so I shouldn't have to lie a bout that. It just annoys me that I, and all of you here, knew what was wrong before they did and now it is definite, that's it, bugger off.

She said she would write the referral to gynae today. She was reluctant but said she would so I guess it'd be a good few weeks before I hear anything.

Now I might try that taking the pill for a month thing to see what happens.

On a more positive side, the bathroom is complete and I've had the carpet cleaned and had a shifty around with the furniture to spruce the place up a bit

MummyinEngland Tue 23-Nov-10 17:07:29

I think that it is very worrying that you havent bleed for 6 months and they arent going to do anything. When I was at this stage (no periods for 6 months after birth of DS) I was told by a private gynecologist in costa rica that not bleeding for that length of time can cause other complications (cysts etc) so they would need to induce a bleed with progesterone (it worked)

Any idea when you will find out when the appointment is? I think the pill might not be a bad idea (because they may well suggest this and that will get you ahead of the game if you do it early) BUT if you get sent for blood tests they will need to be at least 8 days after finishing the pill in order to get a "true" reading of your hormones, and not be reading the residual effects of the pill (which you should take for 21 days)

Can you ask your doctor to prescribe progesterone tablets? To see if it brings on a bleed? this is a 10 day course rather than 21 days or do you have to wait for the gynecologist to prescribe something? Hope appointment is very soon (and I hope they are actually helpful and nice!)


ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts Tue 23-Nov-10 17:21:34

Well by the sounds of it I have to wait for the gynae to do it all. she couldn't have sounded any more disinterested if she tried. I always thought not bleeding for that amount of time could be detrimental to your health but when I said this to her she just said it was only unhealthy if you have hormonal problems.... dur..... I do.

Thanks for telling me it is 8 days, I will bear this in mind. I'll have a chat with DH later and probably just start it tonight for 21 days just to see what happens.

WRT the appointment date, I expect a letter may come within a couple of weeks. It didn't take long for the scan letter to come so I'll have to wait and see.

I have just ordered a new PCOS book to see if I can do anything else other than what I am. I'll soon have a collection.

I feel like I shouldn't be here wittering on about myself when there's others with much worse problems but I literally, apart from DH, have nobody in RL to talk to about this. And even DH doesn't really fully understand I don't think. He doesn't come here talking to you guys everyday, lol! I'm tired of putting a face on to everyone that things are ok. ILs keep blabbering on about how a bro or sis would be great for DD. I just feel like screaming at them. But I don';t get on well enough with them to want them knowing my health probs. They don't even know we've had mcs.

I hope it doesn't snow this week. It's cold enough Brrrr!!

Look at me taking over the whole first page. blush

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts Tue 23-Nov-10 17:26:23

just found this through google. not healthy to have no periods :

"One of the most common symptoms of PCOS is irregular menstrual periods. During a normal menstrual cycle, the endometrium, or lining of the uterus, is exposed to hormones, like estrogen and progesterone, which cause the lining to proliferate and thicken. Right after ovulation, progesterone levels increase, then drop before menstruation. It is that drop in progesterone levels that triggers the lining of the uterus to be shed each cycle, known as a woman's period. In PCOS, ovulation does not occur regularly, which prevents the rise and fall of progesterone which brings on a woman's period. Instead, the lining is not shed and is exposed to estrogen for a longer period of time causing the uterine lining to grow much thicker then normal. This can cause heavy and erratic bleeding. However, this is not a true period because ovulation has not occurred. Over time, lack of exposure to progesterone may cause endometrial hyperplasia (a fancy word for overgrowth of the uterine lining) which in rare cases can lead to endometrial cancer. Taking the birth control regulates your menstrual cycle by providing the progesterone that your body needs, causing the uterine lining to be shed frequently and reducing the risk of endometrial hyperplasia."

LunaticFringe Tue 23-Nov-10 19:39:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MummyinEngland Tue 23-Nov-10 20:42:22

Lunatic oops yes sorry, wrong name check with the snow thing! Glad to hear you are mending.hmm at scary dentist but envy that you usually have a handsome one. Wouldnt it take the edge off all our medical and dental problems if the people involoved were all handsome?smile

Brokenbits Tue 23-Nov-10 20:42:42

Woohoo! Shiny new thread for us all. I've brought chocolate biscuits and a mug of tea. Had to put the whisky down unfortunately...grin

Can't believe how much has happened in a few short hours. I'm sorry if this post covers a lot of ground that has already been covered here while I've been in loonville, but I've been trying to catch up with both threads, so this could be a bit of a jumble, much like my head! smile

Thank you all of you for being so bloody marvellous. It's lovely to have the support here as I daren't even tell my Mum in RL!

Welcome hairy and battery. Sorry you had to join us, particularly on a day that felt very me, me, me. I'm sure I've spoken to you both on previous threads before. Hope neither of you has to stay here too long.

frazzled How sweet are you, squeaking at work? I was actually going to change my name for the announcement (you know when you fantasise about this sort of thing for months before it happens!) blush, but it came to it and I was just too scared of jinxing it. I'll get there when I dare to believe it might happen! You are a brave lady taking on the Christmas lunch. Sounds like my former job! Hope they start behaving for you, or you'll have to just threaten to cancel Christmas! grin
Love the Victorian Chimney sweep analogy btw. My DS is exactly the same right now!

Julez Bless you for making your DH think you'd gone insane by telling him some random cyber woman's pg news! grin I'm so impressed with your bump, which seems to be taking over the world. No wonder you've had a hard time sustaining such a little chubster!

Thanks for your kind words and grins Coconuts. I know my name seems a bit miserable right now, but I really feel that to change anything might jinx everything. Funny how I'm suddenly the world's most superstitious person! hmm

TBH never having a diagnosis only really got me down last week when I was told my progesterone levels were normal, because it was the only thing that had ever been abnormal and a normal result made me think I had been fine for ages, but still couldn't get pg. I'm not sure what's worse: having a problem with a name that you hope can be fixed, or a process of trial and error to try and get to the bottom of an unknown issue.

Now I think I've always been a miniscule step away from peak fertility and just needed rebooting. I can't help but wonder how this might have been if I'd been given Clomid last March when I initially went to the doctor. Certainly makes me wish I'd been a little more pushy at the time and I urge you to do the same. I'm really sorry about your hideous appt. No wonder you feel down and I'm irritated with your doctor for making you feel even worse. There might not be an absolute cure, but there are plenty of people with PCOS who have got pregnant, so why shouldn't you? Posh Spice is a prime example of a woman who struggles with this condition and has conceived 3 times, although I'm obviously aware that she probably has access to some top flight healthcare. Have you considered seeing another doctor and telling them that you've been ttc for 18 months? This should not have to be a case of put up and shut up. It's your body and your life and, as this doctor said, the condition can't be cured, so what does it matter if you're young? It's not going to go away just because you get a bit older. I really would see someone else. Don't give up without a fight.

Just read your next few posts and it is just a reminder of everything that irritates me about GPs. They are NOT specialists in fertility and have no real idea about fertility drugs anymore because they aren't able to prescribe them. I seriously think they are rationed on the amount of people they are allowed to refer, as they seem to be very good at fobbing off women with this problem. What I would say is that if you are not ovulating, this is a medical problem in itself, regardless of whether or not you are TTC. Long term, this could present with other health issues - as you've already discovered - including osteoporosis and cancer. A lack of ovulation at this stage basically puts you into a menopausal category. Women going through the menopause are given HRT to cope with it. Why should your case be any less important because you want a baby. How very dare you for wanting your body to do what it's supposed to! angry Sorry for the rant. This is one of my biggest bugbears.

FWIW I think it's great that you are getting a gynae referral. With any luck that is a foot in the door and I'd badger that gynae consultant to death about the fact that you are also desperately TTC and have been for a LONG time. Emphasise that point as much as you feel able and don't feel remotely afraid of having a bloody good cry on them. You may very well find that your predicament is heard in the right surroundings. I'm not sure that the pill would do anything other than put your mind at ease right now but, even if gives you a bleed, it is comfort that things are working on some level. You have my every sympathy. This sucks and I fully understand how hard it is to find anyone in RL who cares or get it. Keep talking to us and stop thinking your problems aren't valid. They are very valid and supporting each other is what we're all here for. Hugs.

Lunatic I am quite barking mad at this point, but in a really happy way. I've been doing a lot of daydreaming! Yesterday I didn't really believe it. Today, I had a hideous moment when I tested with FMU and got what looked like an evap line, which led me to believe I was having a chemical pg. The horror of potentially losing my pg after only a day was greater than I ever imagined. When I'd calmed down and needed a wee again, I tested again and realised that the first one had been dodgy. Silly internet cheapies! I've also had confirmation from a digital today. Somehow seeing the word 'pregnant' has given me permission to start accepting it and I may even ring the ACU to let them know tomorrow, if I feel brave enough. I've only done 3 tests today, as opposed to the millions few I did yesterday.blush Thank you massively for all the grins and teary support.

Mummy I'm getting there. It's all a bit surreal. I keep having to tell myself it's happening and even then I'm paranoid everything will go wrong in a few days.

banana I'm with Mummy. It might be a bit of a horrible thing to do, but I'd pee on a stick and rule out pg first and foremost. This could just be your body's irritating way of flushing itself out and getting back to normal, but I really empathise with the emotional rollercoaster that it puts you on.

Waves to digi, Lady, mumatron and everyone else I may have missed.

I eventually had to tell DH my news over the phone because he's away until tomorrow and I couldn't take another 24 hours of silence. We haven't been able to have the excited announcement that we had last time, although I think we both expected that really. We're now trying to be as rational and pragmatic as we can. Ha! Today I am 4 wks and 1 day (by my estimations). I reckon I'll get a scan between 7 and 8 weeks, which should be just before Christmas. Just need to try and stay sane between now and then. It's quite mad that if this works, I will have seen this baby as a follicle. It's also a comfort to know that, unless the egg decided to be a cheeky one, that there's only one in there. Now I just need to see a hb - who am I kidding? - when I can hold the baby in my arms I might just believe it. Right, will try to stop talking about it now. hmm

Brokenbits Tue 23-Nov-10 20:50:24

Lunatic missed your last post for some bizarre reason. I think those pokey things are interdental???? Like that's the bit that matters! smile I do have to wonder why dentists insist on hearing about medical changes and then completely ignore them and make you bleed everywhere anyway!?

Glad the cold is better. Also glad about the iron tablets and as glad as I can be on your behalf re the referral to see the bowel people. What fun! I'm sure you'll feel impressively better once the anaemia is under control. Talk about the domino effect. I'm slightly nervous about what the hell to expect on this journey after the saga that you lot have been/ are going through! grin

LunaticFringe Tue 23-Nov-10 21:23:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

digitalgirl Tue 23-Nov-10 22:52:47


Had counselling session today. Feel worse. Just opened up all the uncertainties and confusion I'd managed to tidy away. Now I'm feeling sorry for myself again. And I still haven't a bloody clue as to how likely it will be that I'll ever have another child.

broken you sound so happy, it really is wonderful to see you finally getting what you've wanted all this time. smile

coconuts when ttc ds I pushed my gp for a gynae referral on the basis of irregular periods. Gynae was happy to investigate it for fertility purposes, hopefully yours will be too.

I work in telly, hence shoot on mc#2 due date next week. It's not as glam as it sounds but I do enjoy my job.

MummyinEngland Wed 24-Nov-10 08:49:56

Hi digi

Just wanted to say that I have done a lot of counselling, I found the whole thing really wierd at first and questioned why I was doing it when it made me feel worse in the begginning. The long term results have been fantastic though, I came to think of it as a safe space to offload all of those negative feelings, deal with them efficiently in one hour, sort of box them up into weekly sessions rather than have them leaking out in inappropriate moments while I was trying to get on with life. Hope that makes sense. Or as a friend told me at the time "if they make you cry lots, then its working" I found it was also very helpful to plan a nice treat for immediately after the session, bit of shopping or coffee with a friend or something. xxxx

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts Wed 24-Nov-10 10:31:53

lf I know plenty of women have children with PCOS, I'm one of them as I already have DD. I never struggled to get pregnant, i struggled to stay pregnant because of my bi-cornuate uterus. Now it's switched round.

Glad you are feeling better, and grin at your lovely looking dentist. Mine is a Spanish man and is rather tasty too grin

broken thanks for your post It was a lovely message. I don't think I'm upset at the whole having a condition etc etc. I'm upset that it is treated so blase. I have seen many different doctors. The first was when we'd been TTC maybe 8 months and I went due to my periods stopping not due to TTC. I was, rather foolishly, honest about the length of time we'd been trying. They recorded that into the computer. The next doctor I saw I knocked it up a month or two and they questioned what I said to the previous doctor and I'm a rubbish liar!

I've decided to definitely go back on the pill for a month. I need to try and clear my skin up and stop feeling like I'm turning into a man grin

"What I would say is that if you are not ovulating, this is a medical problem in itself, regardless of whether or not you are TTC" - This is what i have been saying for the past 6 months but nobody seems to get my point. hopefully this gynae appointment will be the foot in the door that I need as digi has just said and they may just pass me on to right people got to keep positive

I truly am happy for you and everyone else here though. I just detest RL people who are pregnant or popping babies out like there's no tomorrow because their contraception failed angry

4 weeks already shock it'll be Christmas before you know it (only 30 days) Hopefully you get an early scan. I'm so pleased for you all

DH has a day off today so that will give me a break from DD who has been the master of tantrums the last couple of days.

<<waves to everyone else>> Hope you are all well

LAF77 Wed 24-Nov-10 10:51:38

Hello ladies, I've managed to find some free wi-fi! Hurrah broken so happy for you. Let's hope that this is a sticky bean. I'll think of it as a "natto" bean. It's a Japanese sticky soy bean.

Tonight is my last night in Japan. I'm at an Indian restaurant because I believe you aren't supposed to eat sushi when you are preggo although I have a hard time believing Japanese women don't eat it for 9 months. It is a food hygiene issue and I think JP is low risk, but I havent really fancied it.

I'm a bit worried as I'm supposed to transit in korea tomorrow, so hopefully it calms down overnight here. DH and my mum are not happy about it!

No signs of MC yet. I did have a total freak out last night imaging I wasn't pg anymore and was desperate to POAS. I haven't really had any ms. I noticed some Montgomery tubercles on my boob this morning and wretched this afternoon after eating way too many Pockys. So I'm a bit calmer now.

I'll fill you in more about my stories when I hopefully return safe and sound to the UK.

mumatron Wed 24-Nov-10 11:12:44

broken omfg!i don't log on for a few days and look what i miss!

don't have time for big catch up now, lots of stress here atm. will be back asap.

banana87 Wed 24-Nov-10 12:00:23

Hi all

Coconuts Sorry your appt was pants. I should have said my SIL is doing the whole thing privately otherwise I am sure she would be in the same boat. I just cannot see how it makes sense to say "keep trying" when we are not ovulating confused If it makes you feel any better, it is a gynae and not a fertility dr that is treating my SIL so you may find that they put you on chlomid anyway. And FWIW, my SIL is the same age as you and your GP is talking bollocks.

Broken still over the moon for you!! Yippee!!

Lunatic Hope you are ok. No, I have not POAS yet. We have DTD three times since ERPC, and two of those were this weekend blush and also we are using the withdrawal method. I very highly doubt I can be, but will POAS anyway just to see if there are hormones left over.

digitalgirl Hugs to you. I have never found counselling very helpful either, so can't help you.

LAF77 Yay for still being pregnant!! Hope you are ok in Korea.

No news here. Yesterday saw my friends newborn and was not remotely broody. Not even when DD only wanted to hold her and not was so sweet. I just feel very very un-ready to do it all again, but then I remind myself it was quite traumatic for me with spotting and bleeding the whole pregnancy, with it all ending quite dramatically, and it was less than 6 weeks ago. Perhaps no period is a good thing for now.

mumatron Wed 24-Nov-10 12:46:21

can't manage a proper catch up as you all talk too much!

very happy for you broken but can you please change your name now?? i suppose you'll feel scared of jinxing things. ( says i, who still carries a tampax around in my hand bag, cos if i throw it out i will start bleeding hmm)

mega stessful times here. xp still being a knob. i should be used to it by now. although i got his solicitor letter on monday and it made for funny reading. that man has some imagination!

then the stupid dog managed to get hit by a car this morning. i don't tkae her out alone as she is a big dog and if she decided she wanted to run off i wouldn't have much chance of stopping her. anyway, putting bins out this morning and she spots a cat from behind the gate. off she went, straight in front of a car. dp normally walks her at night when there is no traffic so she has no road sense whatsoever. she seems ok but will be taking her to vet later i think. her paw seems to be swelling a bit now. just what i needed this week.

my blood pressure is creeping up now so i'm back and forth hospital and mw's alot.

will be glad when dd2 is here. i have been nightmares about stillbirths etc sad sad

sorry about the lack of personals, will try and keep up a bit better.

Brokenbits Wed 24-Nov-10 15:37:06

Just a quick one and I'll catch up when I have more time. Was brave and booked my first scan this morning. Predictably, they went by my LMP rather than my ovulation date, so I had to ask very nicely that they put it back a few days from 6+2 to 7 weeks. I don't feel strong enough to risk seeing no hb and I'd rather wait 5 more days and know for definite from the outset than potentially having an agonising wait.. Roll on 13 December. Not long in the great scheme of things. I'm very excited right now, but frightened that may change in a couple of weeks!

Julezboo Wed 24-Nov-10 16:49:16

mumatron I hope your poor dog is okay You are nearly there now! Sorry to hear about your BP.

broken Well done, I am still grinning for you

coconuts dont give up, you WILL get there !!

lunatic Glad you seem to be on the mend

Laff Sounds scary! Becareful and YAY for still being pregnant!

I am being a misery guts again. I am in so much pain with shoulder/hips/pelvis/bum cheeks. Last night was just dreadful, I was sick in my sleep FFS! Poor DH! It was just pure acid though (sorry TMI!) I am still on anti-sickness meds and reflux meds, plus i alternate between gaviscon, rennies and tescos own indegestion tablets and imo they are all crap shite

I just feel pants all the time and 10 weeks atm seems like a LONG way off

Physio appt is booked for 3rd Dec.

Hope everyone else is ok xx

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