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Stillborn at 19wks - What do I say?

(4 Posts)
mum2all Mon 15-Nov-10 22:09:32

My friend has just delivered her stillborn son at 19 weeks and I have absolutely no idea what to say to her.
I sent her a text earlier saying that i hadn't phoned cos i didn't want to disturb them but offering my condolences and also offering to do anything I could to 'help' in anyway. Just feel so useless and so sad myself, can't even begin to imagine what she and her OH are going though.

mrslurkalot Mon 15-Nov-10 22:23:16

This happened to a friend of mine, and I'm sorry to hear it's happened to your friend.
I think all that you can say is how terribly sorry you are. Offer her whatever support she needs, she may want to talk over and over about what has happened and her experiences, or she may not want to talk at all. Make a meal and take it round. Talk about her baby and use his or her name. Let her know that you are there whenever she needs to talk. And KEEP asking her how she feels when others thinks she's 'over' it.

fudgecat Tue 16-Nov-10 08:23:05

Im so sorry to hear about your friend.

Please call her.

My son was stillborn just over 8 weeks ago and like you most people decided to give me a bit of space presuming I have a lot of support from other friends and family. Unfortunately if everyone thinks the same thing then she may not have anyone phoning or visiting. I haven’t had any calls\visits\emails from friends or colleagues in over 3 weeks sad and feel very alone. Talk to her about the baby, ask her as many question as you want, ask to see a photo if she has one. Remember her due date and the anniversary next year, that would mean a lot to her.

hairytriangle Tue 16-Nov-10 08:30:18

I think you've done the right thing. Leave them to grieve a while and send another text in a couple of weeks so they know u r still there for them

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