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late-stage mc - I've just written to the Daily Mail . . . anyone care to join me...

(18 Posts)
daisyj Wed 03-Nov-10 11:50:57

Never thought I'd be saying those words!

I have sent this in response to Rachel Morarjee's open letter in the Daily Mail here

I feel a campaign coming on ...

Dear Sir

Thank you for publishing Rachel Morarjee?s eloquent open letter to Lily Allen (3 November). She spoke from the heart about an issue that is rarely discussed and little understood. The common belief that a pregnancy is ?safe? after 12 weeks discounts the thousands of women (and men) affected by late miscarriages and still births each year, some of which might be avoidable if it were possible to implement a system of screening for women who were trying to conceive or in the early stages of pregnancy.

As anyone who has experienced it is aware, antenatal care is already something of a lottery in this country ? in some areas pregnant women see a midwife at around 10 weeks, in others not until after the 12-week scan. Even if comprehensive pre-conception screening were not an option, an extra test to check at an early stage, for example, for antiphospholipid syndrome, requiring low-dose aspirin as a treatment in pregnancy, would save hundreds of babies' lives every year. As it is, a woman usually has to wait until she has endured three losses before tests are routinely offered. Of course early miscarriage is incredibly common, and usually just a matter of bad luck ? nature?s way of dealing with a chromosomal abnormality in the embryo, a baby that never could have survived ? but this is no consolation to the women who go on to suffer multiple losses (at any stage) that could have been avoided had they been aware that there was a problem that might have been dealt with ? not an abnormality in the foetus itself, but something for which they themselves could have received treatment.

To pre-empt any argument over the expense of screening programs, I can only imagine that the cost of a few hundred thousand blood tests would be at least partially compensated for by the saving on the cost of scanning, treating and counselling those women who avoidably miscarry or give birth to still-born children every year.

I hope that if nothing else Lily Allen?s terribly public losses, and Rachel?s response, can serve some small purpose in beginning a long-overdue discussion.

Yours faithfully,

Etc

Maybe they will print something if they get a flood of letters on the subject... Over to you...

fireworknix Wed 03-Nov-10 12:32:12

You have my vote!

Send it, send it!!!

Totally agree, having just MC1 TTC#2 i totally agree, how much would it cost them to do a simple blood test, compared to the cost of the aftermath?

well done daisy, so sorry for your loss xxx

daisyj Wed 03-Nov-10 12:39:14

Thanks, firework - and to you - I hope it works out for you soon - maybe it will comfort you to know that we waited three months after MC and then conceived first month of trying - now have 19mo dd. I feel so strongly about this - I 'only' mc'd at 11 weeks - didn't have a bump, didn't feel 'safe' yet, but it was devestating, and I couldn't even imagine how one would bear a late-stage loss. Then it happened to a close friend, and I just felt so helpless. Statistically it's not common, I know, but even if it happens in 1 in 100 pregnancies, it's often enough for most people to know someone... And that's a lot of babies and a lot of pain...

daisyj Wed 03-Nov-10 12:44:12

firework - sorry, I hope that doesn't sound really insenstive. What I should really have said too was that after an mc, certainly for me, it felt as though it wasn't possible that I could have a healthy pregnancy - it seemed like it would be a miracle, particularly since I was already 35. And then it happened, and it usually does, so I hope it does for you, very soon. xx

AnytimeNOW Wed 03-Nov-10 16:14:42

And my vote!...having had two mc,s and a chemical loss in the last five months, something needs to be done to try and help/prevent such tragic loss.

Thank you Fireworknix x

daisyj Wed 03-Nov-10 16:28:56

AnytimeNOW - so sorry to hear that. Have you had any investigations done? It's so painful when you get your hopes up only to have them dashed each time - I'm not sure whether it makes things better or worse to know how many people are going/have gone through similar...

I really think it would be great if this could kick-start a wider conversation. It's a bit quiet on here, though. Maybe I should be posting somewhere else...

daisyj Wed 03-Nov-10 18:58:33

Daily Mail phoned me this afternoon - they will be printing this as their lead letter on Friday/Monday. Coming to take my photo tomorrow - eek. Will post link when it's in if possible.

LAF77 Wed 03-Nov-10 19:15:29

Well done daisy i hope that some good will come out of your letter so less of us have to suffer pain.

My current personal view is that I'm waiting for my third miscarriage to happen to get seen by a specialist. It's sad really, when pregnancy should be a happy time, but that is the state of affairs.

fireworknix Wed 03-Nov-10 19:24:15

No daisy it didnt sound insensitive, i was 12 weeks when i mc but i also have a DS age 3 (i did have a bump, mostly fat i would say grin)

There are enough ladies on here experiencing stillbirth and late miscarriage to know its a problem, that isnt dealt with effectively!

Tackle the source not the symptom!!

Well done on your recent new found fame, i think its great

daisyj Wed 03-Nov-10 19:36:36

Thanks, guys. If they get a more 'exciting' story it may not happen of course, but here's hoping. I intend to take this further, too, and am hoping the MN connection will help when I figure out what the next stage is...

firework - I'm glad for you - it makes it a little easier to bear. Still so very sad, though.

daisyj Wed 03-Nov-10 19:38:42

LAF77 - so sorry for what you're going through. I very much hope that the third pregnancy will be a successful one for you - it's so very hard - hope you are finding lots of support here.

xx

LAF77 Wed 03-Nov-10 21:39:46

thanks daisy MN is really helping as there are very few people that I know in my circle of people who have mc issues. If they do, they don't share. It does seem to be quite a hidden issue in society, like the dreams that we had for our babies and families weren't real because they didn't make it.

If anything comes of this campaign and prevents another person from going through the pain of losing their baby, it will be worth it.

I was reading all of the headlines in the express/mail/sun etc in the supermarket yesterday about Lily Allen I never made it into the second trimester and I can't imagine how dreadful she is feeling.

cece Wed 03-Nov-10 21:49:29

I agree till I had the misfortune to suffer a second trimester mc I had no idea how many women have suffered the same awful loss. I too naively thought I was 'safe' after the 12 week mark.

daisyj Wed 03-Nov-10 22:38:42

Hi cece - I remember you from MC threads. The last thing I would want to do, of course, is to make women feel insecure in their pregnancies once they have passed the first trimester, but, as you say, late-term mc is not talked about - almost as if it doesn't happen - and that's not helpful to women who have to go through it, tormenting themselves that there is something they could have done differently. Anything that can be done to raise awareness, can only be a good thing (I hope).

cece Wed 03-Nov-10 22:52:35

HI daisyj - I agree with you. Will look out for the paper.

Lollysunshine Sun 07-Nov-10 08:07:28

What a great letter.
I was talking to my partner yestreday, before I saw this thread, saying late miscarriages are finally being discussed more openly because of poor Lily Allen.
It's just horrible that it takes for a famous person to endure what hundreds and thousands of 'normal' couples go through for the issue to be in the limelight.

daisyj Mon 08-Nov-10 14:56:39

Thanks, Lolly - it is so sad that there isn't more information and help for couples struggling to have a 'successful' pregnancy. The DM published the letter on Friday - unfortunately I can't link to it as they don't do letters online. I know Rachel is hoping to keep this in the media over the coming weeks, and I'll be doing anything I can to help. Will post back when there's more...

nickstermum Wed 10-Nov-10 16:12:06

daisy i am the artist formerly known as fireworknix! T'was my bonfire name!

I missed your letter, but my parents saw it!! DM have recently published a lot of correspondance on this topic, even before LA. Good to see they are getting on with it!

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