Why do I feel like I have been hit by a tonne of bricks today?

[Chloe55]

Long story short - had a MMC almost 2 months ago, devastating few days, bearable few weeks - felt like I was doing ok for past few weeks.

Now, really struggling again. Got a bit teary yesterday but sobbed all night, in a foul mood this morning, dreading the school run to be confronted with 5 month pg friend...again. It's like a recurring nightmare, keep going throught the whole scenario.

I need to keep it together but just feel like I am wilting inside

[KTRace]

I am so sorry you are going through this, if it is any help I was the same after my MC in dec. Thought I was handling it then bang, no sleep, crying endlessly etc....Then would be ok again.

Are you TTC again? I felt that made me really depressed as each month passed I felt I was failing. I was so very desperate to get pregnant and have a baby.

Let yourself cry and hopefully that will help.

I hope you are feeling better soon x

[emptyshell]

It happens - I think what happens is gradually the ok days outnumber the truck days.

I'm speaking as someone who started sobbing in Ikea carpark through the insanity of it all this lunchtime though - today's most definitely of the truck variety for me.

[Chloe55]

Thanks ladies. We are TTC again, I fell pg this time a month before I was due to start Clomid though so not sure where I stand now really and whether I should be going back to doc anyway to see if I should go on it straight away or 'wait and see' considering I managed to do it unaided this time after 4 years!

My head is a bit of a shed at the mo workwise too. I am a childminder and decided to go on maternity as of January (baby was due Feb) as the 3 yr old I childmind will be starting his nursery placement in Dec anyway and he was my highest earner, the others are after schoold children and only make about £60 a month from having them anyway. Obviously maternity isn't happening now and I have no intention on advertising my services to continue childminding as I just feel that I wasn't meant to be doing it and it will just hurt even more if that makes any sense?

I have took on a little jewellery making project after looking for a keepsake of my own with semi-precious stones/charm etc to remember the baby by but not really being able to afford the prices. After making a bracelet for myself a friend asked for one for her and then another did so I now have quite a collection of jewellery and have done a couple of parties. I'm not far off breaking even and think if I continued I could make a little money out of it but dh is not so supportive as like any business you have to put in to get out.

He is encouraging me to take on a job to fit round school hours to tide us over, like receptionist/dinnerlady/shop assistant etc. I am very far from a lazy person but can't bare the thought of taking on a job that in my mind I feel like I shouldn't have been doing at this particular point in my life and as selfish as it sounds I can't see past that. I do know I have to though.

Sorry for babbling, just feel so upset and confused.

[MummyAbroad]

Hello again Chloe,

We spoke on another thread a while ago. I was wondering how you have been getting on.

Not got many words of wisdom today as I am having hard time myself (due date is coming up) I do remember that two month mark is especially hard because its around the time when the rest of the world thinks you should be "recovered"

I agree with KTRace that letting yourself cry is important. Why do you "need" to cope? What would be so bad about letting it all out? Dont be afraid to cry, you have good reason. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[MummyAbroad]

x posts with you,


Take your time with job stuff. Of course you feel upset and confused and it will be hard to make good decisions in this state. Why not focus on your recovery first? Give yourself time to grieve, the rest of the world can wait for a bit.

Talk to DH and work out a plan where you get some time off to recover even if its just a week.

If you are TTC and want some support through it there are lots of lovely ladies on this thread who you can talk to.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1047379-Just-MC-and-ready-to-try-again-Pack-your-cake

Come over any time
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