To end it all

[emptyshell]

My username's apt. My 7 week scan today revealed just an empty sack. I have to go through all of this again - I can't.

To the bitches who called the infertile or those who miscarry evolutionary dead ends... I hope one day you fucking suffer an ounce of the pain I feel right now.

To those who run around shouting and screaming and wanting favours because you have a child so you're something special - I hope you fucking miscarry and suffer like some of us have to.

To those of you who realize you have kids you love, but that the rest of the world might NOT want to simper and smile into your babyseat in Tescos and educationally develop your child because the whole world is morrally obliged to do that - I love you for having some perspective on things, and possibly a touch of empathy for the searing pain your infertile/miscarrying sisters may go through.

I don't know if I will end it or not - but yes, right now after three years of infertility, followed by two glimmers of hope put out by miscarriages, sat here waiting to miscarry the empty sac inside... it's a fair possibility.

[Pioneer]

So sorry for you emptyshell .

I've no idea what you must be going through but I can only imagine how awful it must be.

Is there anyone with you at the moment?

[WelcometotheJungle]

I am so sorry for your pain.

I truly wish there was some way I could help ease it.

[Lulumaam]

I am really sorry for your loss. it is clearly devastating

who has called you a dead end???

look, if you are suicidal, and/or very very depressed and feeling hopeless, call www.samaritans.org/?gclid=CJbyweCl0qMCFYeY2AodZDGBtQ the samaritans

call your GP, present at A&E.

don't be on your own

have you been referred fro any counselling?

[Lulumaam]

the samaritans
08457 90 90 90.

[Jamieandhismagictorch]

So sorry. You sound desperate and angry - no wonder.

I hope (I'm sure, actually) you find some empathy on here - I don't know what you are going through but I didn't want to leave this unanswered.

[Cartoose]

Emptyshell, I'm so sorry.

[WelcometotheJungle]

Where are you?

I know a saint-like obstetrician, fertility specialist who has performed no end of Miracles for my family, but is in Australia.

[DiscoSquish]

God I'm so so sorry :( I wish there was something I could say to ease your pain but I can't think of anything right now. I just wanted you to know you're really not all alone out there and that there are people thinking of you and sending you love.

[BlueFergie]

I am so sorry emptyshell. I hope you have some RL support with you at the moment. I wish I had some words to help you or some ideas but I don't think anything could anyway.

For what it is worth I am thinking of you and sending best wishes your way.

[PerpetuallyAnnoyedByHeadlice]

emptyshell

I am so sorry for your loss sweetheart, I have experienced the heartache of a late mc and i know all too well the gut wrenching emptiness and grief

i hope you have lots of wonderful support from family and friends right now and into the months ahead. there will always be a sympathetic someone on MN, any time of day or night when you need to rant, failing that please phone the samaritans

hugs to you

[undercovamutha]

So for you.
Hope your DP is with you. Please try to get some support.
Despite having had a mc myself, I can't imagine how terrible you must be feeling after such a long struggle.

Un-MN > to you.

[ShinyAndNew]

Do you have some one with you? I haven't a clue how you feel and couldn't even possibly begin to understand.

I'm so sorry for you losses. Please speak to some one in rl about how you are feeling or pick up the phone and speak to the Samaritans 08457 90 90 90.

[fridgemonkey]

Another helpline that will understand your pain if you want to talk to someone.


Infertility Network (offers confidential counselling and supporover the phone)
08701 188 088

I'm sorry for your loss.

[Madascheese]

Oh Lord, I'm so very sorry - particularly for the way you've been talked to.

Be kind to yourself, rest, eat as well as you can. I hope you have people around you who will take care of you

:( :( :(

[Kaloki]

Oh emptyshell So sorry to hear what you've been through. Wish there was something I could do to help, please hold on. :(

[BootyMum]

Oh Emptyshell I'm so sorry to hear this.

You were very kind in replying to a post I wrote asking for advice in supporting a friend struggling with fertility difficulties.

I can understand that you are feeling very angry and are absolutely grief stricken to have lost your baby. I remember that you said you had lost a baby once before as well

Even though many of us on MN may have children please don't push us away or assume that we don't care about what you are going through.

Please give us a chance to be there for you as you are going through this horrible time.

Sending you a hug. I know this is completely inadequate but want you to know I am thinking of you.

[Ryoko]

Why not adopt? there are many many kids desperately in need of loving homes.

I would adopt if DF would let me.

Don't give up on yourself, be strong and think about helping children who feel just as hopeless as you do right now, being infertile does not mean you can't be a loving mother one day.

[Pioneer]

Not sure if you have been on here but the miscarriage association have a website

[Anniegetyourgun]

I am so sorry to hear of your massive disappointment. Do you mind if I hug you at this point? Sorry, but otherwise all I can do is ramble platitudes that probably set your teeth on edge. ((( hug ))) Please ignore the rest if it starts to bug you.

You are not an empty shell, you are a real human being and you matter. You are so much more than... than a mere incubator. You matter just as much as that child you wanted to bring into the world, and you're already here, so losing you would be just as much a tragedy as losing him/her. It's hard to accept that right now, when all your energies are focussed on what feels like a need to reproduce; it's a dirty trick Nature sometimes plays, that those who are eager and suited to be parents can't always, whilst those who dislike children or couldn't care less can often pop them out like peas in a pod (and take about that much care of them). Life sucks so much sometimes. But it can also be glorious and brilliant, and you only get the one. Just hold on... hold on through the worst... "this too shall pass", really it will.

Do people really say such dreadful things as "evolutionary dead end" if you don't, personally, pop out a sprog? What a horrible thought that such people can breed and potentially pass on their bigoted, heartless attitudes. If nothing else, you have to hang around so you can shout at them every time they start up with that nonsense.

Another (((hug))), with many apologies for being mushy.

[MrsC2010]

[mermaidspurse]

emptyshell I think I have replied to you before on the mc threads.

I am sorry to read your post I have lost 6 babies myself so understand all to well where you are but to wish this on others, to even write that is awful, I am quite shocked.

[PacificDogwood]

emptyshell, so sorry for your sad and unfair loss. No wonder you are devestated and angry - it sounds like you have had some criminally insensitive remarks directed at you .
Not much to add to what others have said on here. Be kind to yourself and look after yourself. Miscarriage is a horrible thing to go through, particularly if it is not the first time.

[Kewcumber]

So sorry Emptyshell, I never managed to give birth but I adopted my lovely DS whom I adore. If you can take the pain, keep trying and if you can't adoption has been a fantastic experience for me.

I gave up fertility treatment about 7 years ago now so the pain is quite dim for me but I would encourage you to speak to some of the organisations people have mentioned.

[sloanypony]

So pissed off to hear your news. Why is it that some people get such a rough ride with fertility.

I really hope you get through this.