I lost a baby at 20 weeks and then became pregnant again quite quickly. When I got to about 17 weeks I started to get incredibly anxious and wasn't coping with how I was feeling. My consultant suggested I saw the bereavement midwife. When I met with her she mainly listened to me and then made suggestions about practical things we could do to make me feel less anxious. She booked me an appt with one of the midwifes who did relaxation classes and went back to the consultant with some questions on my behalf. She answered lots of questions that I had that I didn't want to ask the consultant. I suppose it was like a counselling session combined with medical information. I do hope that you find speaking to the bereavement midwife helps you and your partner cope with your loss. x
Hi I lost dd2 at 21 weeks. My BM booked me in today and was very sensitive and caring about my history and referred to dd2 by her name etc which made it all more personal. I know that the community midwives in my area would not have been as sensitive. She also works alongside a Consultant who deals with ladies who have had late losses so I have a really good plan of care in place for this time (extra scans/blood tests etc). I also have her mobile number and can contact her whenever with any queries or worries, which is very reassuring.
Wonderif I am sorry that you are going in through this, it really is just the most traumatic thing so I can fully sympathise and empathise with you. I know how hard it is when you collect the ashes. Do you mind me asking what you plan to do with them? You don't have to say if you don't want to as I know it can be a very personal thing x
Regarding your BM - I am not sure how it will work at your local hospital but with mine we saw her afterwards together with a second trimester loss consultant. They went through everything with us and arranged further testing prior to TTC. They also put a plan of care in place for any subsequent pregnancies. This may include early booking in, further infection screening, extra scans to check the length of your cervix, or cervical problems, progesterone supplements etc but will depend on your circumstances and reasons for your loss. I will be under the BM for the whole of this pregnancy so nothing is missed and I know I will get the best care possible and the BM with by sympathetic to my needs and worries!