desperate to conceive after loss

[sayitwithsam]

Hello
I tried for a year and three months to conceive then lost my baby at 21 weeks. I've been trying again for four months (which feel like four centuries...maybe) and nothing. I know it sounds like no time but I do the ovulation tests every month and have lots of BD around that time. My cycles are irregular so I can't pinpoint my ovulation without them. I want to be pregnant again so badly!

How long do I need to wait before I can get help from my GP?

PS I'm 29 and in good health generally. I had tests after I lost my baby and they all came back negative.

[Tootlesmummy]

I'm sorry for your loss. Unfortunately with your age and general health if you were in my area you would be waiting at least a year before my GP would even start to consider tests. They state that it takes on average 1 year to conceive so I would continue to try and stay healthy, hopefully it will happen soon.

Good luck.

[CarGirl]

I'm sorry for you loss can you afford to see a specialist? If you can then I would find someone who is recommended within you area.

As said above you are unlikely to get help on the NHS until you've been trying for 12 months.

[sayitwithsam]

That's what I thought. It's so frustrating because it took so long the first time I don't know if I can handle it if I have to wait that long again before I get any help.

How do I go about finding a specialist in my area? I live in Maidstone.

[CarGirl]

How long did it take you to get pregnant the first time?

My friend used a specialist in the Guildford area (I think) and is now pregnant and I was impressed with the advice and treatment she got (not complicated and hi tech but identified likely issues and treated her for those) but is that too far to travel?

[sayitwithsam]

A year and three months

It would be tricky as I don't drive but I'll take a look. Do you know the name of it?

[yousaidit]

hi Sayitwithsam,

my friend lost her baby at 22+ weeks approximately late may, and she has just found out she is pregnant, so it will be personal circumstances...

I'm ever so sorry for your loss, and wish you loots of good luck (and fun?) when trying for your next dc. I appreciate this post won't change how soon you next become pg, just wanted it to be a ray of hope for you

[CarGirl]

I will ask my friend, her stillbirth was at 36 weeks no reason found followed by a missed miscarriage , pregnant again, due in October

[sayitwithsam]

how do you know about missed miscarriages? It feels like my body is gearing up for another pregnancy every month and then my period shows up. I don't have the same pains as with the periods before my pregnancy.

Has anyone used the clearblue fertility monitor? My DH has ordered me one.

[CarGirl]

Missed miscarriage is where the embryo implants so you become pregnant but then it dies but your body doesn't naturally miscarry by the point at which you've been scanned and found out that the emryo/baby has no heartbeat eg you go for your 12 week scan to find out the baby stopped developing at 8 weeks or similar.

[sayitwithsam]

So you could get pregnant and never know if it's very early?

[CarGirl]

I think if it implants and then you miscarry you will eventually have a heavy yucky blood loss with clots etc as the "products" need to come out eventually. I don't know much about it but after a missed miscarriage many woman have a minor op to clear it out rather than wait for the naturaly process to occur.

[going]

I would go and speak to your gp as soon as you can as your cycles are irregular. They will be able to do blood tests to determne that you are ovualting. I'm sure I heard that ovualtion prediction tests are not reliable if you have irregular periods.

I really hope you conceive again very soon. I lost my first at 20 weeks and felt in limbo until I got pregnant again.

[sayitwithsam]

Ok I will go there tomorrow and try and get an appointment.

My periods have been incredibly heavy since I first started. It's just something I learned to live with. My mum and Aunt were the same. They had fibroids and eventually early hysterectomies. I asked the consultant about the possibility of fibroids and he snapped "if you did, we would have found it". I was regular as clockwork until about four years ago when I had an abnormal smear. I had a colposcopy and biopsy, they then said I'd needed an operation to remove some cancerous cells. Six months went by where the hospital kept saying there was something wrong with the results. I was worried sick and then they just sent a letter saying it was all fine and I now had a clear result! Nothing was ever explained and they still won't answer my questions now.

Limbo is exactly the word. I was never even slightly interested in being a mum until I met my husband seven years ago, now it's all consuming. I held my baby and knew that I was supposed to be his mother. I've never been so sure of anything.