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4 year old acting up at school

(3 Posts)
dizzy456 Tue 28-Nov-17 14:27:39

My 4 year old recently started school in September, he went into a younger class before reception as he's a August baby and they offer an extra year for the younger one's so they develop the same as everyone else.
At his last parents evening we found out he has been HITTING other kids and pushing them and just completely ignoring anything the teacher has to say, mainly in the afternoons. After having a good sit down we thought the outbursts in the afternoon were due to him being used to nursery naps and just getting over tired, so me and his dad moved his bedtime an hour forward to give him a bit more sleep.
Fast forward one month and we get a phone call saying we need to go into school to discuss his behaviour, as you can imagine we're completely deflated as at home he is a really good kid, but apparently at some point from leaving us at the school gate and going into school he's turning into a little monster.
At home if he's naughty he goes on the naughty step or things taken off him like toys, ipad, etc, and he has a behaviour chart- we don't do any form of physical discipline for the simple fact we've never needed to, so no idea where this 'hitting and pushing' kids has come from.
I'm hoping it's just a phase and he's just picked up some bad habits at school but it's soul destroying having teachers looking at you like your bad parents when we're far from it.
Any advice?

Joyfullove8 Sun 07-Jan-18 20:46:49

Hi, Its somthing many children go through particularly in reception year. I'm n education myself and in our country we start education so young. I can only tell you what I would do In your situation. I'm a teacher and am very passionate about education and I have two little ones (1yold and 3 year old starting school in sept)
Firstly, they have asked you in to discuss this so this is an ideal way to fully understand what is going on. (Possivite) Secondly , I would write some questions / notes to ask before your meeting as sometimes we parents forget things we want to ask.
My questions would come after letting them speak and hearing what they have to say. Then I would want to know the following if they haven't already addressed it....
* if regurly When does this behaviour happen
* is it towards the same children
* what provokes this behaviour?
* Is he on task / struggling when this happens / particular tasks/ at a particular time of day
Then I would ask what they have done about it and ask for evidence
* WHAT THEY ARE GOING to do about it
* What you can do to support the plan of action at home
* also ask WHAT POSSITIVES can you/ he focus on

Im sorry for the long message but please dont feel like they are questioning your parenting skills. Feel empowered when you go to the meeting. It's about working together as a team and trust me you won't be the first and you won't be the last

dizzy456 Mon 08-Jan-18 08:35:51


This meeting happened a while ago now and it's safe to say that he's not being naughty but the teachers are failing him as a individual.

Please bear in mind that he's 4 and he plays games on play ground like a typical lad, making a gun gestures with his hand and playing a game with other kids (this is apparently one of the incidence), I'm sure I'm not being stupid in seeing nothing wrong with this, while this might be a sensitive issue in places he's 4!.
The other naughty episode was when he made up a monster game and kept jumping out on other kids apparently scaring them.... In all honesty I'm proud that he has a large imagination and wouldn't change it.
When I asked the teachers what they did during the times, they said they told him to stop playing these games and he continued. I suggested that instead of telling him to stop and leaving it there, they need to explain why he needs to stop as he doesn't understand anything with political gun issues around the world so to him it's just a bit of fun.

The other things brought up was that he gets whiny and a bit moody in afternoon, again he's 4 and just left nursery and around this time they would have allowed him to nap, but instead of allowing him time to sit in the book corner and just relax a bit, they put him in time out.

I'm honestly tempted to move schools as apparently teachers don't understand children in this case.

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