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So don't be shy list your meno symptoms.....

(305 Posts)
VivLevi Tue 24-Sep-19 19:56:53

Not just the well documented meno symptoms but the little things happening to you that you can only attribute to the peri/menopause years
So starting with the obvious....
Chronic early morning wakening up
The hot flushes
Bleeding gums
Hair thinning
What feel like period pains but no period ever appears
Aching back
Aching shoulders
Headaches that would rival any hangover
Constipation then loose stools the back to constipation
Dry mouth
Weird burning crawling sensations on skin
Really dry skin plus the odd crop of spots
Anxiety around stuff that would never normally bother you
Weight gain despite eating healthier than previously
Low tolerance to alcohol
Chin hair
Forgetting names and words mid sentence or using the wrong word
Despite being blonde sprouting some really thick black hair around my hairline.
Anything else?

iklboo Tue 24-Sep-19 19:59:29

Homicidal rage over trivial items
Itching, especially at night
Appetite fluctuations - from none to ravenous

Kahlua4me Tue 24-Sep-19 23:41:02

I was going to write about random itching and then saw iklboo had already written it!

I have all of the above except no rage and currently having periods every 3 weeks..

My worst one at the moment is health anxiety. I ricochet from one terminal disease to the next, often with no break in the middle. Every ache or twinge I get “must be serious”, even though there are lots, they are completely random and all fit in exactly with peri menopause!

changeitis Tue 24-Sep-19 23:52:28

Hair went wavy overnight
Constipation and terrible terrible bloating
Spots went until HRT. confused
Zero libido (better with HRT)
Seriously hating my actually very nice DP. Just him though

That's around a two year gap before HRT. I thought I was going mad.

TiddyTid Tue 24-Sep-19 23:53:39

Jelly belly
Night sweats
Sore nipples (never has these before)
Weight gain
Heavy but very short periods

Rachelover60 Wed 25-Sep-19 02:11:18

Oh you poor things! My peri menopause didn't cause any of those symptoms except flushes and they weren't too bad. If I'd had those problems I think I would have tried to run away from it :-).

jaffacakeany1 Wed 25-Sep-19 03:12:24

ALL OF THE ABOVE! All new to me, currently lying here unable to sleep, too hot under duvet, too cold out of it, so then itching and twitching all over. Also have become more outspoken, I don't seem to care about saying the wrong thing and upsetting people (I actually secretly quite like this new trait!)

sashh Wed 25-Sep-19 03:33:24

Not Meaning to be smug but giving hope to others.


My periods went from monthly to 3 monthly, light, nopain then stopped.

LoreleiRock Wed 25-Sep-19 03:52:16

I am a little impressed and a little surprised that you recognise these symptoms. How long did you experience these things to associate them with menopause. I tend to assume that random weirdness is just that and don’t put a label on it. Do these symptoms last to the extent that it becomes obvious that it is attributable to the menopause?

LoreleiRock Wed 25-Sep-19 04:02:41

Not dismissing your experience , I am genuinely interested as I tend to just dismiss any symptoms as “one of those things” so it could be really helpful. Thank you

BunchMunch Wed 25-Sep-19 04:05:21

Dreadful joint pain, especially in shoulders, elbows, and ankles.
Cystic acne.
Insomnia - every morning I'm up between 3 and 4 without fail.
Hair has gone wavy when previously poker straight.
Libido vanished.
Weight gain.
Varicose veins.
Endo has worsened.
Dry eyes.
Hot flushes.


changeitis Wed 25-Sep-19 07:25:21


I hope my hair stays wavy now I've gone on HRT but maybe the oestrogen will straighten it again.

Im so glad you said the wavy hair. I absolutely think I'm mad for having such a 'symptom'.

666onmyhead Wed 25-Sep-19 08:49:56

Ooooh the itching!! Ffs !! When will it stop ?

VivLevi Wed 25-Sep-19 17:39:49

Yes to curly hair - always been wavy but now mega curls.
Rages - come from nowhere driving is quite sweary these days

iklboo Wed 25-Sep-19 17:53:55

Doc confirmed I'm peri-menopausal through blood tests. I'd had most of the symptoms & thought I might be (experience with older female relatives). I was having tests for something else, mentioned symptoms so he stuck a hormone request on the form.

megletthesecond Wed 25-Sep-19 17:58:06

Homicidal rage. Yep.

Kahlua4me Wed 25-Sep-19 21:04:14

Getting curly hair would definitely be a positive side to all this! Far better than dead straight fine hair 😁

damekindness Wed 25-Sep-19 21:11:52

The inability to stay asleep which gives ample time to ruminate and catastrophise and notice that backache (which is probably something sinister) while you forget what you were thinking just thirty seconds ago

whatisforteamum Thu 26-Sep-19 13:30:58

Itching hair loss peeing every hour!! Plus the dreaded insomnia and feeling very low in confidence anxiety that stopped me driving after 30 plus years.Heightened sense of smell.Greasy hair.

Winesalot Thu 26-Sep-19 13:40:35

That dry mouth, swallowing food, really seemed like a strange one until I read up on it. Then realized my tears and sweat felt sticky which was weird.

I was on mini pill til early this year to control flooding but ended up with one week on and one off periods. After I went off the pill I found I felt calmer and did not get so het up about things.

StellaRockafella Thu 26-Sep-19 15:15:08

Where to start!

Weight gain - no amount of diet or exercise helped although now, almost two years in, am finally making progress and lost 6 kilos
Hot flushes and night sweats. (Sometimes even walking across a room makes me sweat.)
Change of body odour
Always being hot which came as a huge shock having been too cold my entire life
Inability to sleep more than 90 minutes a night
Memory fog and forgetting words, names and all sorts of things
Itchy skin (like there are hot ants crawling all over me)
Dry eyes
Everything aching, my joints in particular (some days I would crawl up the stairs)
Chronic headaches
No libido
Vagina drier than the Sahara
Digestion issues
Periods - went from a regular 26 day cycle to periods arriving either fortnightly or skipping a month
Dry mouth. I've also started to struggle swallowing supplements. I wonder if this is connected?
Complete loss of sense of self

Oh, and wetting myself which came as a huge shock given I've not had children

There's no way men would deal with any of this shit

bengalcat Thu 26-Sep-19 15:18:04

Hot flushes for 5 days before going to the GP for HRT . In retrospect I’d been waking up @3am for a few months before - wasn’t hot on waking but after the HRT stopped waking at night so maybe I was flushing .

ifonly4 Thu 26-Sep-19 16:34:49

The moment I allow myself to sleep, hot flushes - this can be sat on the settee, or happily lying down reading in bed and switching the light off.

iklboo Thu 26-Sep-19 17:07:06

* Change of body odour*

Yes! I smell like grapefruit now when I sweat.

Winesalot Thu 26-Sep-19 17:13:20


That swallowing/dry mouth thing. It is all about the change in saliva viscosity apparently. I reckon that my sweat and tears have changed as well. Really sticky sweat.

waltzingparrot Thu 26-Sep-19 17:20:46

Weird ankles when I first get out of bed in the morning. They just don't work and I have to hobble 10 steps or so before normality kicks in.

FurryTurnipHead Thu 26-Sep-19 17:29:09

Ooh can I join in, I'm new to this club but pretty sure I qualify!

Terrible joint pain, especially fingers and toes. Doc testing for arthritis but thinks it is perimenopause.
Itchy and sore nether regions which comes and goes.
Itchy legs, especially in the morning.
Waking up and 4am and not getting back to sleep.
Complete brain freezes, mid sentence.
A cup of tea sends me into a massive sweat.
I've always been irritable, but there's a whole new level. I can't be in the room when my partner eats or I have an overwhelming urge to kill him.

Good fun isn't it?!

StellaRockafella Thu 26-Sep-19 17:30:57

@Winesalot That's really interesting!

My sweat is definitely sticker, I was actually telling this to someone earlier.

I drink 3-4 litres of water a day so the dry mouth has been a huge surprise. I take a lot of supplements and am really struggling to get them down.

StellaRockafella Thu 26-Sep-19 17:33:11

Sticky? Stickier!

bluebellation Thu 26-Sep-19 17:35:25

Many of the above, and also dry, flaking nails, which had always been strong and healthy. Now I'm several years post-menopause they seem to have recovered.

VivLevi Thu 26-Sep-19 17:41:28

Oh and convinced my foof smells different.
Not unpleasant just different
DH claims no different
But there is a tangible change....

Egg Thu 26-Sep-19 17:42:20

FurryTurnipHead yes! I could happily kill my husband when he eats / breathes / moves. How dare he...

Finfintytint Thu 26-Sep-19 17:43:23

Restless legs.
Memory fog. Make lists and then more lists to remember to look at lists.
Early hours waking.
Other than that doing ok.

JoyceJeffries Thu 26-Sep-19 17:54:11

My foof smells different too. Just so odd
Unbelievably shit sleep.
Weight gain
Extremely heavy periods every 20 days and occasionally skip one
Achy joints
Extremely sensitive skin
Hair gone to shit
Homicidal rage
Forgetting words
Zero tolerance for alcohol
Can’t be arsed with anything
Whooshing noises in ears

EasyLifer Thu 26-Sep-19 18:02:38

Yes yes to weight gain, hot fĺushes, joint pain, anxiety, itchy skin and wavy hair.

Any body else suddenly getting loads of new skin tags?

666onmyhead Thu 26-Sep-19 18:06:40

I'm giggling like a teenager at the word 'foof', so maybe silly sense of humour is a positive side effect ?
Still bloody itchy though ! Legs and side of head especially.

wigglybeezer Thu 26-Sep-19 18:07:24

i have many of the above symptoms, the waking at three or four and lying there going over all my worries until finally falling asleep at what feels like five minutes before the alarm goes off is by far the worst!
The knock on effect the next day, fatigue, carb loading, brain fog, general can't be arsedness is getting very boring.
My hair has gone very wayward, never tidy and flat it is now frizzy whatever i do to it.
On the plus side my chronic PMT has gone, monthly despair and plate flinging rages no more, replaced by rather boring calm resignation.
i have NO willpower to stick to anything that might improve matters, that could be the tiredness...

JoyceJeffries Thu 26-Sep-19 18:09:10

Forgot about the heart palpitations and extreme anxiety.

AllTheOtherCats Thu 26-Sep-19 18:11:41

Headaches that last days and often become migraines
Feeling totally drained/exhausted all the time
Lower back pain
Waking constantly through the night
Dry, itchy skin
Solid bloating after eating just a small amount
Weight gain
Wanting to murder people generally
Starting to forget words mid-sentence
Ovaries that feel like they're on fire. When running have actually had an intense burning pain across my ovaries followed by loss of control of my bowels (so embarrassing)

It's all starting to affect my ability to do my job and this worries me. Have finally made an appointment with the GP because of this.

Doryhunky Thu 26-Sep-19 18:18:41

Wake every morning around 330. Can’t go back to sleep. Hrt not helping. Any solutions?

fatulousatforty Thu 26-Sep-19 18:19:38

All of the above push I occasionally wet the bed now!
After months of shit sleep,I finally slept through the night and wet myself!

crosser62 Thu 26-Sep-19 18:20:48

Shit a brick.
All of the above.
Think I need to go to the gp.

I’m suffering here, actually suffering with a very depleted quality of life.

Tis bloody rubbish being a girl.

PazRaz10 Thu 26-Sep-19 18:25:44

Oh my god, I suddenly feel an enormous sense of relief. I have suffered from so many of these, but whenever I have looked up peri/menopause symptoms they don't list them
I have never suffered anxiety until the past year, but the way that makes me feel along with the rage and libido loss has meant me and DH have been talking about splitting and I have referred myself for therapy. I just thought it was my fault and that we couldn't work any more.
This has made me see that perhaps I need to see the doctor.
I get:
Horrendous anxiety
Night sweats
Loss of memory - can't find the words or finish a sentence.
Severe rage
Aches in my knuckles
Sore back
Jittery vision
Heavier but shorter periods

I'm sorry you're all going through all this, but thank you for sharing.

PazRaz10 Thu 26-Sep-19 18:26:45

Is there anything that anyone can suggest to help with any of it - is it HRT or supplements or do we just have to live with it?

Sarcelle Thu 26-Sep-19 18:34:07

Misophonia - extreme sensitivity to noise like typing, noisy eating etc. Spend most of my working life and on my commute listening to a noise reducing app. Gives me the rage.

Insomnia, anxiety.

Not on HRT. Had a few weeks of mild flushes which stopped with Menoforce sage tablets. Foot pain, took tumeric and it went.

I look and feel very well, better than I have done in years, weirdly.

Sarcelle Thu 26-Sep-19 18:36:58

Forgot to add. I had a few weeks of BO, even though my DH could not smell it. Have to use a stronger deodorant.

BikeRunSki Thu 26-Sep-19 18:40:39

Wake up by 3 am, never get back to sleep
Putting on crazy amounts of weight
Mad temper!!
Very light, very short periods (there has to be an upside)

rosie1959 Thu 26-Sep-19 18:50:01

Sounds though I am getting away light
Very heavy soaking periods at peri last period when I was 59
Have managed to loose around two and a half stone
Hot sweats night time and a bit of insomnia but just move rooms at bedtime and open all windows and turn fan on
Apart from that nails better have actually got quite long for the first time in my life although spend more time caring for them and my skin
The odd palpitations but hey ho basically fit as a butcher's dog

StellaRockafella Thu 26-Sep-19 18:51:26

@Scarcelle Yes to the BO, that's what I meant by the change of body odour in my post. I've started to reek. It's horrible. Never had BO in the past.

I've noticed the misphonia thing too. I've become totally intolerant of most noise.

I really like Wild Nutrition's Menopause supplement and do recommend it.

Esspee Thu 26-Sep-19 18:51:43

@PazRaz10 HRT certainly makes life worth living again.
Menopause is caused by lack of oestrogen so the natural treatment is to replace the oestrogen just like diabetics take insulin to get back to normal levels.

Winesalot Thu 26-Sep-19 19:04:46


Yes. Those skin tags. And I got one removed by the dr as it was growing on a mole and the scar that replaced it is about the size of a choc chip. grin

Dangerfloof Thu 26-Sep-19 19:10:23

With HRT
Ankle pain like you wouldn't believe
Dry straw like hair
Peeing a lot
Memory loss, I find my substitute words funny as hell
Weight the same but damn I can't lose any
Odd dry patches of skin
A zero fucks given attitude to anyone<<<this could be a permanent thing and I just ascribe it to the menopause for reasons.
Itchy head, so bad i checked for nits

Without HRT
An abiding temper, EVERYTHING made me angry
Such sore legs i wanted to just stay in bed all the time
Tiredness so bad i just wanted to sleep all the time
Periods from hades himself
Palpitations, scary until you know what they are

Winesalot Thu 26-Sep-19 19:12:06

Anyone wearing maternity pads to bed to cope with overnight?

Anyone else have separate bedrooms to snoring partners?

The anxiety is a bit of a downer really. Lo and behold anyone who parks on the yellow lines across my driveway!!!

I have found jogging has helped hugely, but the combo of anxiety and insomnia is constant.

pink1173 Thu 26-Sep-19 19:15:28

The monster inside of me that threatens to let loose out of my mouth at least a few times every day!

PuppyMonkey Thu 26-Sep-19 19:16:52

The brief but horrible feeling of impending doom that comes just before a hot flush is by far the worst thing I get. Like a massive wave of extreme anxiety.

Two years since I had a period now and no sign of this symptom disappearing. Yay.

Thebearsbunny Thu 26-Sep-19 19:29:30

All of the I have developed an extremely sensitive nose so am now super sensitive to dust, perfume, certain drinks etc., I sneeze dozens of time a day. Due to the lining of my nose thinning apparently. Lovely.

JoyceJeffries Thu 26-Sep-19 19:30:58

My eyebrows have gone to shit
I’m growing a beard
Extreme exhaustion

Winesalot Thu 26-Sep-19 19:31:49

pulsating tinnitus?

Or dr thinks maybe that is a result of my jogging and getting better blood circulation. It is really annoying and has been known to add to the insomnia.

cosytoaster Thu 26-Sep-19 19:33:51

Hot flushes (sorted by HRT)
Eating less but weighing more
Can't tolerate much alcohol
But am actually enjoying the irritability and increased stroppiness, I used to put up with things because I was too nice and polite to say anything, now I almost look forward to taking things back and making complaints about poor service etc - it's quite empowering!

gubbsywubbsy Thu 26-Sep-19 19:38:49

I'm 45 nearly and suddenly very hot all the time .. bloody nightmare ! I've gained a stone in the last 6 months which is rubbish and mostly around my tummy which wasn't there before ! 😞

wannabebetter Thu 26-Sep-19 19:46:36

Yes weight gain around tummy, yes the flushes & feeling of dread just prior to them, I'll raise your beard with full beard & moustache combo! Disrupted sleep - and when I do get off, the weirdest most vivid disturbing dreams! Yes to separate rooms tho it's me who has started snoring (see weight gain!!) and dry as a bone both ends!!

BestIsWest Thu 26-Sep-19 19:53:55

I was fine until 54. Then bang.

Night sweats.
Weight gain.
Feeling down.
Memory gaps (especially forgetting words).
Joint and muscle aches and pains especially legs.
Frozen shoulder.

HRT has helped (but my hair has gone wavy). I’m on my last patch though as can’t get them and starting tablets tomorrow.

Dontforgetyourbrolly Thu 26-Sep-19 19:59:19

Very painful breasts
Itchy dry skin on my body

weegiemum Thu 26-Sep-19 20:07:03

I can cope with the physical symptoms but I'm getting quite fed up of the homicidal rage, interspersed with days when I can't stop crying. It's worse than being pregnant!

JoyceJeffries Thu 26-Sep-19 20:19:45

At least with being pregnant:
Only 9 months (let’s ignore the horrors of childbirth😂)
You get a lovely, squishy baby at the end

The menopause is just fucking horse shit.

confusedjuly2019 Thu 26-Sep-19 20:28:47

Yes, all symptoms mentioned above. However, sadly, only recognised them for what they were with hindsight!

iklboo Thu 26-Sep-19 21:40:16

What is it with the shoulder pain? A lot of us seem to have it. Is it because we're carrying yet another bloody burden? grin

666onmyhead Fri 27-Sep-19 03:48:09

Oh and the waking up at 03:40 every flipping morning !!!

Deecaff Fri 27-Sep-19 10:25:35

Joint pain in many joints of body.
Anxiety- if there's a molehill out there I'll make a mountain out of it.
Memory loss. Was watching the news the other day and they were talking about Thomas cook, went to talk to someone about it afterwards and had forgotten the name, said the er holiday company.
Weeing a lot .
Rage at times.

wigglybeezer Fri 27-Sep-19 10:59:58

Top tip for the insomnia sufferers, the travel sickness/ anti histamine tablet Phenergan is licensed for occasional use as a sleep aid, I took one last night and slept nine hours! It doesn't always prevent waking for me but it seems to make me fall back to sleep much faster. You have to take it fairly early in the evening or you can feel groggy in the morning. I tend to use it to catch up if I've had a particularly bad run of waking. It's available over the counter.
I also nicked a couple of DHs low dose amitryptaline ( prescribed for nerve pain but actually an anti depressant) slept like a log but had very weird dreams, I'm not advocating using others prescription meds by the way, I now that's v naughty but it can be prescribed for insomnia, I may actually seek my own prescription if things don't improve.
For those who have dried up, I use Estriol cream, others use Vagifem, it's topical so doesn't carry the risks of systemic HRT, I am much more comfortable " down below", my urinary tract was beginning to get problematic but it's trouble free at the moment.

lovelygreenjumper Fri 27-Sep-19 11:03:40

I am quite young for menopause but after 12 months without periods went to see my GP and was fobbed off with a chat with a practice nurse who essentially told me to read up on the internet and go back if I wanted HRT! No discussion about symptoms etc so reading this makes me feel much more normal- thank you.

Mine are:
-Always hot (like a pp, I had previously been constantly cold) and sometimes unbearably hot
- Crazy frizzy hair. Mine has always been neither straight or curly and a bit mad but in recent years I thought I had cracked keeping it sensible with straighteners. Now it is OK for about 5 minutes then insane again. The combination of this and the hot flushes makes me understand why in my mum's generation 'ladies of a certain age' seemed to all have short hair.
- Insane eyebrows to match the insane hair. Plucking/waxing doesn't help- the hairs are in an OK position but just really long. It feels weird trimming my eyebrow hair. I used to go to a salon to have them shaped but am too embarrassed to go now.
- Skin tags
- Occasionally very heavy feeling legs. Sometimes without warning it feels like a huge effort to keep my legs moving- even on a short walk that I usually do without any real effort.
- I fluctuate between a total inability to give a fuck what anyone else thinks of me and crippling self doubt where I worry that no one likes me and if I ever lost DH I would definitely die alone (without even having the comfort of cats due to allergies).
- Temporary inability to remember basic words. The DC think this is funny. It can be when we're at home but try being taken seriously in a work meeting when you can't find a key word.

I am also getting less and less able to cope with the noise of DH eating (and his eating habits in general). I assumed this was just because we have more time together now due to changes in work patterns but reading this it seems a common theme. Or is it perhaps that when men get older they lose the ability to eat like a normal human? (Although the DC's eating noises were annoying me last night so may be my grumpyness)

Whatsitlike Fri 27-Sep-19 11:25:27

Ladies thank you for sharing these insights, I thought I was going mad with my angry outbursts and rage at silly things and being rather stroppy, and being very annoyed when people did not reply to messages/texts whatever immediately!

Skin tags, more and more.
Wake up at least 3 times at night with scary mad dreams
Needing the loo, as soon as I come through the front door even if I did not want to go 2 seconds before
Hot/cold all night cannot find a happy medium
Where on earth has this belly come from?
Go upstairs into a room, them come back down with nothing in my had than cannot remember why I went up there in the first place.
Forgetting words, and feeling like a fool and try and point at the item I am trying to remember the name of.
Cannot follow story lines of films as I drift off......
Pain in my elbows, what all that about
Hairs in places that hairs have never been before

LAR50 Fri 27-Sep-19 14:56:03

Oh so needed to join this discussion. Think I am at the point of periods disappearing now and with it is a whole load of new symptoms that have caught me out.

I can be sitting and relaxing when I suddenly get this awful feeling come over me which feels physical and like I go all shaky inside and then I get a hot flush with it. No warning but makes me feel a bit weird and weak after. Can get this day and night.
Add to this palpitations, weight gain, nausea, spotting, and feeling like i don't feel like myself at the moment, oh and the anxiety can be awful at times too. What fun going through the change brings. NOT.

BeyondMyWits Fri 27-Sep-19 15:13:04

Just be aware that the perimenopause and menopause can both mask and mimic heart issues.

I was dismissed as peri-menopausal (palpitations, hot flushes, heavy legs, shoulder pain - if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck...) but I was still having regular periods.

After about 6 months of these symptoms (thinking wooohooo- soon no more periods!!) I had a heart attack. I was 52.

Hot flushes with regular periods is a possible sign of heart problems as well as a possible symptom of perimenopause. So please get checked out...

Had my heart issues dealt with with medication - and now no more hot fushes... no more palpitations... no more heavy legs... no more shoulder pain... now 56 and still having effing periods though...

Cosmos45 Fri 27-Sep-19 15:18:09

As most of the above, the rage (oh the rage), the chin hair, jelly belly, itchiness, sweats (that's all stopped with a wool duvet, a life saver), feeling like I was going to have a period and then not etc etc etc.

But the worse symptom ever for me was excruciating anxiety. It got so bad on a few occasions i could not leave the house. It went on for about a year before I put two and two together. It stopped instantly I went onto HRT. I openly tell anyone who will listen now in case they are suffering the same.

Cosmos45 Fri 27-Sep-19 15:19:43

Oh! yes and skin tags, saw someone else mention those.. I got loads round my neck but they can be removed by a qualified beautician - I got mine removed and feel so much nicer about myself for it.

whatisforteamum Fri 27-Sep-19 15:56:52

Cosmos.Yes the anxiety has been dreadful.Some of it I attributed to my father's illness and subsequent death.Now I realize that a lady who told me it could be memo was.right.2 years later.

whatisforteamum Fri 27-Sep-19 15:57:45

Meno not memo!

W0rriedMum Fri 27-Sep-19 16:08:44

Question for you all.. Do the symptoms start before the end of periods or before?

Also, do the symptoms pass or is this our new life?! (Please say they pass...)

Winesalot Fri 27-Sep-19 16:34:05

@W0rriedMum I am just in perimenopause. Seems like forever, but this past 2 years definitely peri but maybe over 5 and just gaining momentum.

No hot flushes yet and I am dreading those but have much of the other symptoms but also still regular periods (flooding and now around a 23 day cycle).

I will watch the answers to your question with interest. smile

Cosmos45 Fri 27-Sep-19 16:34:35

#whatisforteamum - please do consider going to the dr and asking about HRT for the anxiety. I worked out mine was hormonal because it was so much worse at that time of the month. I was having panic attacks, really crippling anxiety.. it got to the point I was scared to drive the car. God it was awful now I look back on it. Literally the day I put on a HRT patch it went away. The only time it came back was when I forgot to put a patch on for a few days (or it had come off and I hadn't realised) and it came straight back. I had to leave work, drive home with a feeling of doom and sat on the sofa shaking for two days before I realised what the problem was.


Dangerfloof Fri 27-Sep-19 17:21:27

About that wool duvet, is it light/heavy, does it drape over you properly, was it expensive? If you know what weight is it?
I am veering between silk filled and wool filled. But I cant have a winter one cos I will just expire and they both can be bought at around a hundred quid. But if I buy the wrong one I'm a hundred quid down and still have the wrong quilt.

I have all the symptoms and did before I realised what it was. The first I knew was a 5 month period followed by none for 3 months then I figured out its peri and then the other symptoms made sense.
I have had only a few hot flushes/night sweats and they are just awful (I can see why not that long ago women were put in institutions when going through this) but the achy legs, painful ankles, palpitations etc I had written off as ageing generally.
Apparently it can last 10 years ish, in very rare cases longer. I'm told by others that it gets worse before it gets better. Holding out hope that this is the worst it gets for me. Without HRT I wouldn't be able to work.
Dreading the predicted shortages.

whatisforteamum Fri 27-Sep-19 17:57:26

Cosmos 45 just got HRT😀 I had to stop driving and going on the bus terrified me!.I had CBT which did nothing as I felt too exhausted to try to push myself.Like I say one woman suggested I was meno but blood tests done the GP decided I wasn't 2 1\2 years ago.
I'm almost 53 now and have all.but lost my independence and had to change jobs.This week is my first confidant time in ages.Onwards and upwards.

confusedmaybe Fri 27-Sep-19 18:22:09

Yes. Always had waves but controllable hair. Now mad curls and ringlets which are difficult to tame
Now a very very cheap drunk

VivLevi Fri 27-Sep-19 19:14:15

I started this thread because as I sat the other evening listing my meno woes I truly was beginning to think I was going mad.
I work in a female dominated profession but even amongst friends and colleagues there is a real silence around the multiple symptoms and issues of the menopause.
Hot flushes and dryness are joked about but because no one mentions mad hair or the crippling anxiety it is no wonder we really do begin to fear for our sanity.
All these brilliant contributions have really reassured me and made me feel a bit less out there on my own.

JoyceJeffries Fri 27-Sep-19 21:27:58

Just went out for a romantic meal with DH and had the mother of all hot flushes. DH was lovely but made me sad that I’m not the 22yr old he met anymore. And before you all start, yes, I know he’s not 25 anymore but the meno just seems to constantly remind you of the past and who you used to be.

ChickenyChick Fri 27-Sep-19 21:58:31

A lot of these things are “just” ageing, no? It’s not like eyebrows, waistlines, chins, skin etc will be restored after... sad

CornedBeef451 Fri 27-Sep-19 22:17:05

After reading all this I think I must be peri menopausal at 42. I was diagnosed with chronic urticaria last year but as it is only at night it might be peri instead.

Also forgetting words which makes me think I'm about to get a migraine. Plus the facial hair, delightful.

Oddly I have regular periods for the first time in my life. 30 years of erratic periods, cycle between 6 weeks and 5 months, now I seem to have them all the time!

It's actually about every four weeks but I'm finding it wildly inconvenient. Even ovulating so frequently is annoying as I'm wildly horny for a week but with no interest in sex with DH.

Also worried about when I stop ovulating though, when I had the mirena coil I just felt dead from the waist down.

Craftycorvid Fri 27-Sep-19 22:33:25

Severe intolerance to bullshit. Tendency to speak my mind, particularly when irked. Just going for it when I want to do something (and failing to give any actual fucks if people don’t like it). Just thought I’d put in a few of the changes I’ve noticed that I’m ok about. Oh and there’s the bloody annoying random knee pain, the bloody annoying hair and bouts of sweating (but no heat).

Cosmos45 Sat 28-Sep-19 07:10:48

@Dangerfloof the wool duvet I bought was a one. They do three weights, light, medium and winter. How the lady explained it was a light was between an 8-12 tog, medium was between a 8-12 tog and the winter I’m not sure! Because they fluctuate to your temperature it means the light is as low as 4 and high as 8 if you need it. I have been sweating for about 2 years.. it’s got better with HRT but still I thrash about, boiling hot one minute, throw the duvet off and then freezing cold. Feeling disgustingly grimy and filthy when I wake up.. I put on the wool duvet last sunday and it stopped. I’ve not sweated since. I feel all warm and cosy but not sweaty. The lady I bought it off kept saying ‘you won’t sweat’ and I hadn’t even asked her about that or expressed my age and symptoms.. I’m fact I was looking at something else and my friend was asking her about the duvets just out of interest. Mine was a double medium and was £125 but this was at a stand at an event. Online they are £11 more. I’m seriously impressed. They do smell a bit at first but I don’t notice it now. It’s not a weighty duvet and seems to drape nicely. Maybe a little bit stiffer than a normal duvet but I don’t mind that.

Cosmos45 Sat 28-Sep-19 07:11:39

Apologies the light is between a 4-8 tog

Cosmos45 Sat 28-Sep-19 07:15:49

@BestIsWest same here.. can’t get the patches now so when this batch finishes I am going into tablets. I’ve got enough until Xmas and then what happens is anyone’s guess... confused

Dangerfloof Sat 28-Sep-19 07:19:34

Thanks Cosmos45

I've been looking at baavets baargain box
And currently I can get a king size for between £96 and £102

I think I will just bite the bullet. I reckon I will be ok with it but DH cant stand anything faintly smelly. So I may be giving it away soon.

Cosmos45 Sat 28-Sep-19 07:26:18

@Dangerfloof.. I’m pretty sure I read they have a 30 day money back guarantee.. maybe check that before you buy?

CadburysCremeSmeggs Sat 28-Sep-19 07:32:01

Outrageous Rage
Fucking Insomnia
Hair on my blood chin

Dangerfloof Sat 28-Sep-19 07:39:13

Cosmos, yes they do have a 30 day guarantee. Am ordering today. Cant wait.

EleanorReally Sat 28-Sep-19 07:52:56

we have a menopause meeting at our work, but will i go? will I heck.
thanks for sharing so far.
eye brows, i blamed dd for getting me hooked on threading, so i have keep going back.
seem to have facial hair, eek, i have had a stubborn hair on my chin for years, which i shave off periodically.
i always seem to have been quite paranoid and emotional on occasions. Am I more likely to show my hurt? not sure.
rage, yep, just go with it, it is quite cathartic
early wakings
i have a hand held fan, at home, which is great
thanks for the - forgot the word - um suggestion, for the dryness. that is uncomfortable, off to shops today.
tired, but still wake early
weight wont shift

lljkk Sat 28-Sep-19 08:45:16

There is nothing happening to me that I can only attribute to the peri/menopause.

Sarcelle Sat 28-Sep-19 09:51:39

Menopause is being spoken about more in the workplace. It was raised in a corporate event I attended recently and there was a bit of squirming, but that resulted in a range of discussions and policies are being put in place. Some public sector organisations like a police force somewhere and a council (Leicestershire I think?) have done a lot of work around this for their female employees.

I think the Lib Democratics mentioned it at their recent conference.

The more we speak about it, the less of a taboo it is. I first thought that if it was discussed in the workplace it would be detrimental for women about ageing in the workplace (finished, past it, old hag) but it needs to be highlighted that women can experience this at very young ages (prem menopause) and the peri stage can go on for a long time before the age you traditionally think of as menopause years.

The more it is spoken about women will realise the breadth of the symptoms and they are not going crazy. There should be no shame in dealing with what is a natural process particularly in the workplace.

Snog Sat 28-Sep-19 13:17:31

Has anyone found it difficult to continue with their job due to meno symptoms?

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