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Sex after menopause

(14 Posts)
timeistight Wed 07-Feb-18 16:44:39

I was gobsmacked to hear on Woman’s Hour recently that 90% of post-menopausal women are apparently enjoying an active and satisfying sex life.

I had my menopause at 58 after 18 years of peri and all sorts of symptoms including irregular bleeding, flooding, bleeding for a year solid at one point, being told by the GP all through that this was ‘normal for menopause’ etc. I am now 62.

My libido went west about fifteen years ago. Since then I have absolutely no interest, and also no sensation. You can touch me and I don’t feel a thing.

The GP gave me oestrogen pessaries about 18 months ago, so I can actually have sex now, but I just don’t see the point. However, DH is increasingly impatient, so I clearly need to do something.

I’ve done some reading and it looks as if I am too old for HRT, which has never been suggested to me anyway.

Where do I go for advice please?

Leilaniiii Wed 07-Feb-18 16:51:55

Why are you too old for HRT? I thought it was good for preventing osteoporosis and some cancers. Isn’t there a new way of thinking that HRT has many benefits after menopause? Or is that just my theory...

timeistight Wed 07-Feb-18 18:03:10

I don't know. From what I've read I got the impression HRT was for easing us through menopause, to be weaned off it afterwards.

PollyPerky Wed 07-Feb-18 18:57:49

You can start HRT in your 60s and stay on it. I'm your age and on it. I have no intention of stopping unless there is a medical reason to.

However, the thinking now is that libido responds to testosterone. Many women I know of ( via forums) use it. It's not licensed for women but your GP may allow you to use it and if not you ought to be able to get it from a consultant, privately. The use of testo for women's libido is in the NICE guidelines so it's not a wacky idea out of nowhere. If you google it there are some articles online mainly in the Daily Mail.

Having said that, you ought not to feel pressurised into having sex with anyone, by anyone. Surveys aren't always accurate- many people exaggerate their sex lives when asked about it!

The question is, do you want sex, or are you only giving in to your husband/s wants? There is no rule that you have to say yes to anyone! It's what you want that counts. If you want that intimacy, then seek out treatment. If you don't, maybe you need an honest talk with your DH and a discussion about your future together?

Leilaniiii Wed 07-Feb-18 19:05:15

Great post Polly, I’ve also heard that about testosterone.

timeistight Wed 07-Feb-18 19:41:58

Thanks Polly. I think I would like to. It's been so long that it's kinda difficult to tell.

That's useful information though. Thank you.

Leilaniiii Wed 07-Feb-18 22:12:34

Polly, may I ask, do you take testosterone, oestrogen and progesterone? And can I ask how much you pay?

Sorry to be nosy.

Namethecat Wed 07-Feb-18 22:26:43

The females in my family have very early menopauses ( I was 39 ) Thankfully my symptoms were fairly ok and I got through it quite lightly . I briefly tried HRT but it was at a time when they were quoting in the media about cancer risk et c . Sadly that is also in the family so I came off it ( probably less than 6 months ) I'm now in my mid 50s so over 15 years post menopause, but I am still sexually active. For me lube is my (our) friend .

PollyPerky Wed 07-Feb-18 22:37:44

I don't use testosterone, no.

Are you asking how much HRT is privately? It's the RRP per item; gel is around £10 a month and Utrogestan is 50p a day so multiply that by days taken per cycle. In total I pay around £15 a month which is pretty much the same as an NHS script.

Leilaniiii Thu 08-Feb-18 01:37:07

Wow, that’s cheap! I’ve been put off going to the doctors because I thought it would be really expensive.

PollyPerky Thu 08-Feb-18 07:35:00

If you are in the UK you will get HRT on the NHS from your GP. Unless you see a consultant privately in which case your HRT is paid for by you (or they can write to your GP and ask them to prescribe on the NHS.)
If you see a consultant privately you also need to factor in a couple of reviews / check ups with them each year.

are you in the UK?

Leilaniiii Thu 08-Feb-18 10:15:12

No, I'm in Asia. But private doctors are around the same price here as in the UK.

PollyPerky Thu 08-Feb-18 14:54:50

OP sorry your post has got derailed here.

Leilaniiii I hope I' m not confusing you smile
The costs I quoted are for the actual drugs. This may vary from country to country. On top of those costs are consultations at least once a year for a review with the consultant who prescribes them, so in the UK we pay for the consultant's fee (unless it's an NHS dr.)

Leilaniiii Thu 08-Feb-18 22:10:32

Yes, sorry OP for the hijack.

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