Advanced search

What is the difference between perimenopause and the menopause? How do you avoid weight gain? Does the menopause magnet work? And ye gods, tell us how to get a good night's sleep! Luckily Gransnet has put together the most useful tips for navigating those muddy menopausal waters. Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any medical concerns do consult your GP.

Your worst emotional issues with peri and meno?

(54 Posts)
PollyPerky Sun 21-Jan-18 10:45:26

I'm just interested!

I seemed to be really lucky and get very few peri symptoms; I got to almost 53 with nothing except an occasional missed period, then the hot flushes started.

Looking back, I was very short tempered and had 'rages' at home but I put that down to living with 2 equally hormonal DCs in the middle of A levels etc.

What was bad for you? Anxiety? weight gain? work issues? Confidence? Did anything help?

HisBetterHalf Sun 21-Jan-18 10:57:08

Waking up one day and seeing my nan in the mirror! Confidence all gone due to what feels like overnight aging sad

PollyPerky Sun 21-Jan-18 10:58:37


Or should that be sad

Paintspotsonthefloor Sun 21-Jan-18 11:03:04

Poor memory.
Inability to pick up new concepts when once I was on top of everything.
Low self esteem.
Consuming rage, all the time pretty much.
My marriage is at rock bottom and I even find myself angry and frustrated with my children. I seriously think I would be better off living alone somewhere.

But it will get better, right?

Maverick66 Sun 21-Jan-18 11:12:02

Aches and pains tiredness.
Sagging jaw line. Under eye bags.
Vaginal dryness blushblush
Inability to make simple decisions regarding clothes and what suits me.
Stupid hair.
Rage and anger. Total lack of patience.
I'm 51

missyB1 Sun 21-Jan-18 11:19:34

Being unbearably hot at night - does not happen in the day at all just night.
Low moods.
Coming to terms with the end of fertile years - sounds ridiculous but I wasn't done having children, I always wanted another.
jealousy of younger women - makes me sound horrible I know!

Emerald13 Sun 21-Jan-18 16:57:26

Brain fog, aches and aging, fear and anxiety about death. HRT helps a lot.

MarigoldGloveHotel Sun 21-Jan-18 17:06:44

I have little patience, I'm okay with the kids I think but it's the adults. At work, why is everyone and everything so useless? Why can't DP be an adult and keep his shit together?

Rage. See above.

Inability to suck stuff up.

I do ache, quite badly and hadn't put that down to peri, I need to see GP. I'm tired as anything. I look and feel old. But all these are easier to cope with than the moods.

jimijack Sun 21-Jan-18 17:07:12

Aching joints, fingers, hips & back.

Intrusive thoughts, suicidal thoughts,periods of extreme depression, resulting in me being none verbal, stopping eating.

Brain fog, inability to absorb new facts, information, tasks are difficult to grasp.

Intolerance of noise, sounds, social events, people.

Low confidence, I've started to not be interested in my appearance, I wear clothes until they fall to bits, force myself to shower each day.

Hot all the time, then periodically I get hotter, hang out of Windows trying to get cool, then worry I smell of sweat.

whoareyoukidding Sun 21-Jan-18 17:09:25

Memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, increase in shoe size. Irritability although it's difficult to tell because I was always a stroppy cow

HRT and some cosmetic surgery has helped a lot smile

whoareyoukidding Sun 21-Jan-18 17:11:46

Oops, you only wanted emotional things - now that's typical, and a further symptom of menopause : I get things wrong that I would not have got wrong a few years back sad

ChristmasTablecloth Sun 21-Jan-18 17:17:43

I hate the fact that I've changed. I don't recognise myself any more. I don't feel right in my own skin. It feels like I've had a personality transplant and I'll never go back to how I was. I've forgotten what I was like anyway, but know I'm different now. It's like living in a stranger's body.

The Change is a very apt description for how it has affected me.

ChristmasTablecloth Sun 21-Jan-18 17:19:56

I was old in my school year, am older than my husband and had my children very late in life so I have lots of friends who are 5 to 9 years younger than me. The difference in my friends who are late 40s to me in my mid 50s is quite phenomenal in terms of the way they look, the shape of their bodies, their general energy levels. I feel sorry for them and what is coming just around the corner ...

Agerbilatemycardigan Sun 21-Jan-18 17:21:56

I'm 53 and have had/am having, all of the above.

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername Sun 21-Jan-18 17:23:15

Just coming out of a long 2 year period of feeling like all of these examples. Periods very intermittent now, but thank God my brain fog has lifted, and I'm much more on the ball. Vit D and anti depressants - the stuff of the God's. HRT didn't work at all for me, unfortunately

DramaAlpaca Sun 21-Jan-18 17:24:47

I'm 53. Emotionally I've been fine apart from mild anxiety occasionally. I'm on long term, low dose ADs anyway, so my mood has been OK.

Physically the flushes have annoyed me, just feeling constantly too warm & breaking out in sweats. I started taking Menopace supplements & I don't think it's a coincidence that I feel better since taking them.

The vaginal dryness has been the worst thing, but Vagifem has sorted that out.

I still have a Mirena coil in which I'm reluctant to have taken out & I think it's helped too.

I'm lucky enough to have a great GP who is on the ball. I don't feel the need for HRT yet but will go back to her if or when I do.

Aridane Sun 21-Jan-18 17:31:44

Nothing - unless hair loss is related

MarigoldGloveHotel Sun 21-Jan-18 17:33:15

I'm mid 40s and not looking forward to things getting worse.

Everyone is an expletive and I'm going to lose my job if I can't control my anger at colleagues.

Crumbs1 Sun 21-Jan-18 17:40:13

No issues at all. Periods stopped shortly after chemo. Bloods showed menopause still not happened several years later. I assume it now has but it was/is a non event.
My brain still works just fine. I’m clearly ageing but it’s not like I suddenly look 90.
If anything it’s nice not to have to give two figs about most things anymore. If I want to live in wellies rather than heels nobody cares.
I don’t have to worry about a flat stomach or hairy legs. My husband isn’t bothered and I’m not looking to ‘pull’. I’m probably more confident than I’ve ever been and certainly more comfortable in my own skin. It’s quite liberating.

Wickedstepmum67 Sun 21-Jan-18 17:43:57

Jimijack - you sound like you are having a horrible time with depression. 💐

51 - things have been changing slowly for a couple of years now. Physical stuff can be annoying: just had several months of sweating like billyo, which seems to have stopped all of a sudden?! Lost all contact with when or if to expect a period some time ago. But the most disconcerting thing by far is what I can only describe as a reckoning: revisiting life choices made, relationships - it seems impossible to look at with anything other than a gimlet gaze. There are just no soft fuzzy edges any more. I'm very conscious of being close enough to my youth to not feel ready to let it go just yet, but close enough to older age to feel not ready for that yet either! I'm a pretty positive person. I'm lucky enough to have work I enjoy, friends and relationships I value. It's just that this whole menopause mallarky is one hell of a headfuck. 😕

missyB1 Sun 21-Jan-18 17:47:56

I should have added that my menopause may actually be a sort of "false" one . I'm on Tamoxifen after breast cancer and the side effects are like being shot head first into the menopause. No idea how I am supposed to know if its the real menopause or not! I'm 49 so its quite possible I suppose.

mrsreynolds Mon 22-Jan-18 16:40:11

Poor memory
Aches and pains
Heart palpitations
Weight gain

mrsreynolds Mon 22-Jan-18 16:41:30

Oh and waking up bathed in sweat

PollyPerky Mon 22-Jan-18 16:55:44

General point to lots of posters- thanks for responding- A lot of these are physical not emotional. Out of interest if you are having and physical symptoms are you consciously avoiding HRT for a reason?

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername Mon 22-Jan-18 17:00:56

Emotionally I was very detached from everything. Lost all my self confidence and became somebody that I didn't recognise. Letting people walk all over me, and became a 'yes' woman. Thankfully that's passed and I'm back to my bolshy self !! HRT sent me into a tailspin. ...became so depressed (even more than I was already) and spent all day, every day, crying

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: