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Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Menopause

Intercourse and discomfort

42 replies

Lambside · 16/12/2017 19:37

Can be slightly uncomfortable during and slight pink tinge to any discharge after.
I use multi gyn gel occasionally but think that although it soothes any irritation and seems to rebalance the internal flora it isn't actually preventing the discomfort.
Do I need an oestrogen product? Do I need to see a dr or can I buy from Boots or online?

OP posts:

Report

retirednow · 16/12/2017 20:24

I got prescribed oestrial cream from my GP for this, it comes with a plastic plunger thing but it does help. You can also use lubricating gel, I don't know what multi gyn gel is but there are others you can get from the chemist/pharmacist without a prescription but I wouldn't go on line.

Lambside · 16/12/2017 20:28

Thank you retirednow
Anyone else?

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retirednow · 16/12/2017 20:39

If you go into the Health section on mn there is a section titled 'menopause' where others have had this problem.

Lambside · 16/12/2017 21:27

Yes I know, that's this section and I've scrolled through it reading relevant threads.

OP posts:

PollyPerky · 16/12/2017 22:50

It's called vaginal atrophy. You need estrogen treatment from your GP. You can't buy it over the counter. It's a cream or small pessary you use in the vagina. it's not lube. It is used to change the cells back to their normal state. You need to use it twice a week for life or your symptoms will come back. Even if you are not having sex, using these creams can help prevent discomfort, burning and UTIs. See your GP.

IrritatedUser1960 · 16/12/2017 22:52

I just gave up sex, I realised I wasn't interested anymore anyway and that's the truth.

Lambside · 16/12/2017 22:55

Ok Polly thank you.

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Lambside · 16/12/2017 22:57

I'm definitely still interested irritated!

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IrritatedUser1960 · 16/12/2017 22:59

I'm glad for you Lambside, I feel dead from the neck down!

Lambside · 16/12/2017 23:05

Are you happy with that?

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DramaAlpaca · 16/12/2017 23:08

What Polly said ^^

Vagifem oestrogen pessaries, on prescription from the GP, returned everything to normal for me.

oldfatandtired1 · 17/12/2017 00:40

Agree with drama and polly. I started a new relationship a few years past meno and divorce and was dismayed to find everything had basically dried up . My doctor prescribed Vagifem which really helped. If my relationship doesn’t last I will continue with it as I just feel more ‘comfortable’. No more getting up in the night for a wee either,

NickyNora · 17/12/2017 14:44

If you don't have sex, how would you know if you had Vaginal Atrophy?

If you don't have sex, does Vaginal Atrophy need to be treated?

PollyPerky · 17/12/2017 14:51

VA doesn't only affect sex.

'Dryness' is really not a precise term. Lubrication is affected but it's a lot more than that. The cells change and the vagina becomes shorter, narrower and tighter.
Great, eh?

It's an 'umbrella term' for drying out of all the genital region including the urethra, bladder, vulva and vagina. All those parts of your body depend on estrogen to function well.

Even if you don't have sex, you may feel discomfort have to wee a lot and get UTIs due to 'dryness' being unable to deal with bacteria.

In very old ladies who have severe VA - absolutely worst cases- the vaginal walls can fuse together due to being fragile and 'dry.

PollyPerky · 17/12/2017 14:54

would have been a heck of a lot easier to post this link...here you go :)

www.londonwomenscentre.co.uk/conditions/vaginal-atrophy

Lambside · 17/12/2017 15:22

Polly I had the theory that the menopause was also causing a difference in the flora in my vagina and making me susceptible to mild BV symptoms. Does that sound likely?

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PollyPerky · 17/12/2017 15:36

Absolutely. Loss of estrogen changes the flora from acid to alkaline which is when soreness etc can happen. 'Soothing' products can help, but they won't change the actual cells , they just coat the surface.

NK346f2849X127d8bca260 · 17/12/2017 23:29

Nicky VA certainly doesn't just affect your sex life, you can't sit, walk or sleep without burning, stinging discomfort 24/7 mine was awful and it took a year to get my treatment sorted thanks to useless medical professionals.
I now use systemic and topical HRT and now have my life back!

NickyNora · 17/12/2017 23:35

I've had urge incontinence issues & UTI's but haven't had sex in nearly 6 months.
Bless you Nk nothing like you describe.

sadie9 · 18/12/2017 00:10

I had the exact same Lambside. I got the Vagifem pessaries prescribed and it has made the world of difference. Before I had zero moisture and everything felt like it was shrivelling, like no plumpness. The lubricant gels and stuff are ok if you have nothing else, but they dribble out of you. Or sometimes if you use ky or something it is fine at the entrance, but inside then it stings like mad and you get the chafing.
Also I did have a bit of urgency, like uncomfortable twinging of the urethra sometimes, which is gone now since starting the Vagifem.
I have some natural lubrication back and it feels much more like the way I used to.

PollyPerky · 18/12/2017 08:11

we need to talk about this more. Half the population have vaginas. At least half of them will have VA post menopause. That's an awful lot of women!

Part of the issue I think is that older women don't want to 'admit' they still have or want sex so it puts them off talking to a dr.

But as posters have said, it's not limited to pain during sex.

Recent surveys have shown that very few women go to their GP about this. PLEASE don't be embarrassed. It's just another part of your body.

NK346f2849X127d8bca260 · 18/12/2017 13:09

Also doctors need to realise that it can affect you in the peri stage this is why I had to fight for a year to get treatment for my awful VA, got told by more than one doctor and even a gynaecologist that you can't get VA until you are two years post meno. The gynaecologist wanted to do biopsies on my bits...i then paid privately and got prescribed what I needed, systemic and Vagifem.
Now 18 months on I can walk, sit down sleep, cycle, swim and have lots of sex

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Oxfordblue · 18/12/2017 15:01

Are you on HRT? I started HRT 6 weeks ago & can confirm(!) my vagina is nice & plump again! Last time I had sex it felt like a glued up envelope

Lambside · 18/12/2017 15:08

I'm not on hrt, no. Have some menopause issues but am not too bothered by them except for this.
Have a Drs appointment now so hope they are open to prescribing something.

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1966gettingold · 18/12/2017 18:42

VA is the pits ......I need the estring ( 25/7 local oestrogen left in the vagina for 90 days ) systemic HRT , YES oil based plus I have had The Mona Lisa laser treatment, just to be able to wear pants , sit down and have any quality re me VA.

It started at 45 I’m now 51 and still only in perimeno.

I have been in a magazine , plus on a couple of websites and I have been on Chanel 5 menopause a few weeks ago , VA got one minute but talking to those behind the scenes and my gynae it is sooooo common , but kept hush hush.

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