Advanced search

What is the difference between perimenopause and the menopause? How do you avoid weight gain? Does the menopause magnet work? And ye gods, tell us how to get a good night's sleep! Luckily Gransnet has put together the most useful tips for navigating those muddy menopausal waters. Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any medical concerns do consult your GP.

Where did my sex drive go?

(11 Posts)
IrritatedUser1960 Mon 30-Oct-17 09:14:42

Since menopause I still like to look great and wear lovely clothes and makeup and even look sexy. I'm divorced.
But if only men knew! I'd sooner spend the evening wearing brushed cotton pyjamas, a fluffy dressing gown and slippers with curlers in my hair, with a nice cup of tea in front of my woodburner watching the tv, cuddling my cat than having sex with a man.
My sex drive has gone forever thanks to the menopause, I'm only 56 and feel I should be sexually active still. There is absolutely nothing there whatsoever.
Before menopause I had a perfectly normal sex drive.
Ok I don't need a man, I have my own home and successful career but there is something at the back of my mind wondering if there ought to be more.
I've enjoyed living alone more than I've enjoyed having a man around so should I be bothered or not?
My single neighbour my age says I don't need a man I need more wine and chocolate.
An american friend of mine says in the states they all get prescribed testosterone along with HRT to keep the sex drive going but when I asked my doctor she said that is not available over her! Why not?
I'm not sure if I should be worried about this loss of drive or not, I'm quite happy alone.

PollyPerky Mon 30-Oct-17 09:20:47

Testosterone is available for women post meno. Don't have time to do all the links here, but if you spend some time googling Panay (consultant gynae), testosterone for women post menopause, NICE guidelines (menopause) you will see lots about making GPs aware that women should be offered this as part of HRT. Not sure if you are on Twitter but there was something there from a presentation (Panay again) into menopause, HRT and testo, not long ago. Might have been tweeted by Menopause Matters, or women's health, or Dr Hannah Short.

lovemylover Mon 30-Oct-17 09:23:39

Sorry to hear you have lost your sex drive, and it IS possible to get testosterone over here, ,but may need to go to a menopause clinic
Are you on HRT anyway
Try,you will get some good advice there
Not sure if this link will work, but if not just google it

LineysRun Mon 30-Oct-17 09:25:35

That's interesting, PollyPerky, thank you. I've got a gynae appointment this week and I want to mention this. I'm being recommended a total hysterectomy and no-one ever mentions testosterone, not my GP, not the hospital team.

IrritatedUser1960 Mon 30-Oct-17 09:27:58

Yes I've been on HRT for years and quite happy with it. I can't believe it, my GP swore blind testosterone was not available and I'm pretty sure my marriage broke up because of my lack of sex drive.
That is shocking that a GP would just dismiss me and my genuine concerns like that.
Thanks for the info I'll see if I can get myself booked into a menopause clinic.

PollyPerky Mon 30-Oct-17 09:50:38

If you want to read some science, here []]

There is lots online about this lately- have a read.

PollyPerky Mon 30-Oct-17 09:52:14

OP- I'd not hold out hope for the menopause clinic. If it's NHS you may find it's served by 'ordinary GPs' ( or maybe not...) who dish out the same mantra. On the forum Menopause Matters there are women who use NHS meno clinics and the 'rules' they use are no different to a GP- some women told no HRT after 60, and other loads of old cobblers.

PollyPelargonium52 Sat 04-Nov-17 10:20:46

Parsley tea helps libido come back but the problem is it can induce periods and who wants that lol.

lovemylover Sat 04-Nov-17 15:29:20

Maybe you only think you have lost your sex drive, because of having no partner, if you met someone you liked and was attracted to you might discover it again

alsteff Sun 12-Nov-17 00:16:14

Yes agree with lovemylover - perhaps your auto libido has dropped to zero but with the right person it would reignite!

lovemylover Sun 12-Nov-17 09:57:13

Happened that way for me, and I am much older than you, and never thought I would have sex again, never mind enjoy it
Try dating and see what happens,hopefully you will meet a lovely man you are attracted to,and voila, smile

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: