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Upset at being told I'm post menopausal

(17 Posts)
user1493065871 Mon 24-Apr-17 21:56:01

I am 44 years old.
I have been grieving following a beareavememt just before Christmas. Poor sleep, anxiety, forgetfulness, tearful, headaches and hot flashes since it happened. ( It was not expected and a real shock).
I have seen my GP a few times since Christmas; referral for beareavement counselling etc.

My last period was the beginning of February. Prior to this my periods have been normal and regular I mentioned it to my GP a couple of weeks ago, and he sent me for a blood test. I assumed that my period was late due to stress.
Results are:
FSH 42
LH 28
Estrogen <56
I was told my thyroid function test was normal.

I was given a print out about HRT, told to read up on it and also look at homeopathic remedies and book an appointment to go back and discuss it with him if I want to go on HRT.
He did say that I would need another blood test in a month.

I have been on google tonight and trying to understand it all, looking at all the pros and cons for HRT.
I feel so upset but I don't really know why. Most people would be happy not to have any more periods, but it is all so sudden.
Can anyone help and give me some advice? Thank you.

PollyPerky Tue 25-Apr-17 07:06:12

Sorry to hear you are upset sad

My advice is you find another GP!
To suggest you read about homeopathy is a joke- sorry! How is homeopathy (which doesn't work) going to help loss of oestrogen?

Emotional events can play havoc with cycles- it may be nothing more than that at the moment. You sound as if you are peri meno - which can last for years- because up to now you have regular cycles.

Your GP's wrong if they think one blood test after missing 2 periods is 'proof' you are post meno at 44. Ok- you might be- but unlikely. Blood tests are very unreliable. You need several blood tests one month apart, on days 2-5 of a normal cycle. If you don't have cycles at all then they can test you anytime.

If you ARE post meno then you NEED HRT- that's classed as an early menopause. The website Menopause Matters is helpful- look at the menu Menopause and the sections on premature menopause.

menopausematters.co.uk/pm-definition.php

user1493065871 Tue 25-Apr-17 20:57:51

Thank you.
My GP did say that it wasn't conclusive just on the blood results but looked very likely with their readings.
I briefly spoke to a gynecologist today (not as a patient).
They suggested with my symptoms and blood test results a HRT gel would be good to try.
Apparently I would need a combined hormone as I still have a uterus.
I was also told that if this wasn't effective the mirena coil may be worthwhile.
I have just googled HRT gel and now I'm concerned about the transfer to my young children; I don't want them to stop jumping into bed in the mornings, on holiday in swimwear etc.
Is there anyone on HRT gel that has the same dilemma? How do you manage it?

PollyPerky Tue 25-Apr-17 21:12:43

I still think it's worth taking your time and seeing if this is just a blip. My gynae says that some women's cycles can go haywire even if their pet dies and they grieve.3 missed cycles after a death (sorry) seems understandable.

The gel isn't a problem. I have used ot for 8 years. You apply it either morning or evening (or both- 1 pump each time or 2 pumps same time) and you are supposed to avoid skin to skin contact for 1 hour (as well as not showering or swimming for an hour.) You apply to upper outer arms or inner thighs. These areas would be covered with clothing- the gel dries in less than 5 minutes.

You either have to use a progestogen pill to give a cycle, or have the Mirena coil fitted instead of taking pills.

lljkk Wed 26-Apr-17 20:40:14

Friend (her children were all teenagers by then!) said she felt upset about menop b/c it was loss of her fertility. I can't relate to that at all.. but I think it might be a common reaction. Best wishes. Try to be grateful for the problems you don't have.

caz1967 Sun 07-May-17 13:49:18

Sorry this is a long one!
Hi there I know the shock of being told your through the menopause. earlier this week I finally received the blood results that had been done 6 weeks earlier, Our GP'S are terrible for getting an apt, the doctors are not much better. I had a hysterectomy many years ago at 24 years old. At the check up after the OP with the consultant I was advised my ovaries had been left due to age, but to be aware I would start menopause before the normal age.
For approx. 9 years. i have been having issues with sweating and mood swings, I have also had a lot of medical problems and diagnosed with a few things with my spine, so ive been prescribed lots of meds. Every time ive asked if the symptom's I was having were the Menopause I was told i doubt it your a bit young its probably your medication, same reason given for the weight ive gained and cannot shift. Ivisited my GP and discovered he was retiring a fortnight later, and I was actually relieved, as he wanted to give the HRT without testing me first but I declined and said id prefer to know ive started in menopause before I take anything, im on enough meds. So I had the blood test 10 days later it took so long as the phlebotomist only visits once a week, then started called a week later to get a new apt for the results. 6 weeks after the blood test. I walk in sit down with new GP younger Asian doctor thought brill she's know all the latest info. How wrong could I be... I was made to feel like an idiot and not given any information regarding my results other than YOUR DONE im afraid, then tried to talk me out of having HRT I was so upset and shocked I forgot to get the other arthritis tests id had for Rheumatoid arthritis.
Since then, 5 days ago ive not had anyone to talk with, I reached out to my brother as mom dad sister all passed away, He told me to go get specialist help he didn't know how to help, not understanding I just need to talk, I feel like my body has given up on me, that im no longer the woman I was born to be.. I had similar feeling after my Hysterectomy. This however s far worse, the hrt is a single dose, apparently because ive no womb or cervix that's all I need. Will this help with my mood, weight feelings of being desirable again ? where do I go to get these answers.. ????
Cheers.. Sorry for the massive post.xx

Abraiid2 Sun 07-May-17 13:52:41

OP, are you sure the GP didn't say 'alternative' rather than homeopathic?

I'm managing my menopause (not peri-) with red clover and one of the much maligned magnets. It has worked well. I am 53 now.

Abraiid2 Sun 07-May-17 13:53:32

Sorry, meant to add, neither of these being homeopathic but both alternative.

Teddy1970 Sun 07-May-17 13:56:36

You're only post menopausal if you've not had a period for 12 months or more..he's jumping the gun a bit...is there a history of early menopause in your family OP?

Ontopofthesunset Sun 07-May-17 13:57:55

I thought before the age of 50 you need to have two years without a period before you are classified as post-menopausal. And after 50 it's one year. I might have got the two years pre 50 wrong, but 12 months without a period is definitely considered to be the rule before someone has gone through the menopause.

AuntyElle Sun 07-May-17 13:59:19

I was a similar age and it came as a shock to me too. Just seems to early. The website menopausematters is so useful. Especially the forum. menopausematters.co.uk/

Bluntness100 Sun 07-May-17 14:02:02

I think it's the blood test results that are driving rhe doctors xomments.

Op. just think, no more periods, and at a young age, that's got to be liberating,,try to think of the bright side.

AuntyElle Sun 07-May-17 14:06:35

Helpful, in-depth article: www.theguardian.com/society/2015/dec/15/what-science-doesnt-know-about-the-menopause-what-its-for-how-to-treat-it

user1493065871 Sun 07-May-17 14:20:59

Thank you for all the replies.
I'm feeling a lot more settled. I just felt very shocked as I really wasn't expecting to be told that at 44.
I've had time to reflect and put things into perspective. My family is complete and if I don't have another period ever again then that is a massive bonus.
I have had another appointment with my GP. The plan is to have more bloods taken next week then see him in a fortnight to discuss the results. If the results are similiar he will prescribe me HRT. He suggested trying the patch instead of gel or oral tablets.
I felt the GP was more supportive during this appointment. Maybe due to the shock at my first appointment a few weeks ago I just focussed on the negatives, but he was definitely more understanding and helpful this time.
Another positive is that I have been burying my head in the sand and ignoring the extra weight I have piled on recently (I guess a symptom of all this). I am worried about further weight gain with HRT, so I have started mindful eating and going on daily walks. It has made me determined to get healthy and try and lose the extra pounds!

user1493065871 Sun 07-May-17 14:25:12

He also said that I may well get another period as it would need to be at least a year without a period to say I was post menopause (even though my blood hormone levels show this). Regardless, with the symptoms and if my next blood test is similiar, I need to go on HRT.

sadielouise78 Fri 12-May-17 16:02:33

Hi. It sounds like we are in the same boat. I'm 42 and have just had the results of my blood tests - FSH 42.3, LH 24.23 - so have to go back to talk to the doctor although they told me over the phone that it looks likely I'm (don't know the right word) menopausal??!! Periods are sort of every three months, night sweats for over a year, mood swings (one minute happy as Larry, next minute in tears), headaches, no interest in sex etc. I don't have any children of my own although I met my partner 4 years ago and have two step-children now. We decided at 40 we didn't want to have any, selfish reasons really, we like our lifestyle having the kids every other weekend and then the rest of our time just us. But then to be told the decision has been taken away from me has really upset me. For ages I've thought at least at menopause there'd be no more heavy periods and pain but now it seems to be here I don't feel old enough (and at 42 I guess I'm not).

user1494765393 Sun 14-May-17 13:57:59

I am 52 and have had a lot hot flushes my weight is piling on and my flat stomach is growing by the day. To add to that I have tried to speak to my hubby about the changes in my hormones. His advice to me was to eat more yoghurt!!!!!!. Lol. If only that would cure the weight gain night sweats and low moods. I laughed and told him that I was going to put it on line so here it is ladies. They say that ignorance is bliss but in this case is just plain stupid.

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