Libido

[Mermaidinthesea123]

So I started the menopause at 45 and am now 55 and I have not wanted sex the whole of that time. Libido died.
Not only don't want it but feel utterly repelled by the whole thing. I'd sooner have a nice cup of tea.
Now I'm perfectly happy as I live alone after two divorces and have great friends and family but if I ever meet anyone there will be no sex.
I'm on HRT as last time I came off all the symptoms came back horribly so I'm not coming off.
I'm just wondering if this is normal and does anyone else have total lack of libido?

[PrudenceDear]

Me. I'm 44 now but have been like this for 5 maybe 6 years. My peri symptoms started when I was about 36 and my periods have been once a year for 3 or 4 years and I'm now 14 months since the last. I have had total lack of libido for 5 or 6 years and I feel so sorry for my husband. He tries to understand but it's been very hard.

[PollyPerky]

There is no rule saying you HAVE to have sex at any age! Obviously it's going to be hard to find a new man who is happy to be celibate in a new relationship if that is what you want.

It's not normal if it's due to loss of hormones, but obviously everyone has a different sex drive and being without sex doesn't bother some people (men and women.)

I think you ought to talk to a dr about adding in testosterone to the HRT.

This is a presentation from Panay (one of the top gynaes) where he discusses it.

nickpanay.com/Presentation%20pdf/Testosterone%20in%20Women.pdf

There is an increasing trend to add testosterone to HRT in order to help libido. It's mentioned in the NICE menopause guidelines.

Altered sexual function

1.4.8 Consider testosterone[1] supplementation for menopausal women with low sexual desire if HRT alone is not effective.

[Mermaidinthesea123]

Do you know Polly, I did some research and asked my GP to prescribe testosterone and he refused point blank, last GP did too. They said it's not prescribed in this country! This was when I was still married and desperate to find my libido again.
It's a bit late now to refer him back to NICE guidelines as I'm single with no boyfriends on the horizon but it was instrumental in my divorce.
I feel for you Prudence as you are still married.

[PollyPerky]

As with lots of things to do with menopause many GPs are behind the times. The NICE guidelines ask them to consider use of testosterone. There is no product currently licensed for use in women but consultants prescribe the product for men but in smaller amounts. There are many women on other meno forums who are using testosterone. Some have it from their GPs others have had 1 consultation with a consultant gynae who then writes to the GP and suggests the women have it on repeat prescriptions. It's not black and white.

[Igglepigglehadasplat]

No desire at all until started HRT. And then DH got a bit of a shock! But things are calming down again now as I am getting used to being on HRT. But before I started HRT I would try to remember to help my husband at times! Even if I didn't feel like sex. I would then ask for foot massage or something in return at a later date

[PollyPelargonium52]

Parsley tea can work wonders for both libido and anxiety. The only drawback is it makes you very very thirsty and can even bring on periods. Given I am menstruating every 3 weeks I daren't risk taking it.

It DEFINITELY helps libido though I can tell the difference in 3-4 days of drinking just one cup daily.