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Really worried - is this perimenopause or could I be PG at 45?

(42 Posts)
piefacerecords Thu 19-Jan-17 10:22:27

I've read loads online but there's lots of conflicting advice out there and I seem to be working myself up into a Google Panic sad Apologies in advance for mammoth thread.

I've always had a regular 28 day cycle. And PMT which got worse over the last few years - from the age of about 39/40 it got so bad that it was lasting two weeks + and I was getting panic attacks and feeling terrible. I eventually saw my GP who diagnosed Generalised Anxiety Disorder (I did fit the symptoms) and put me on ADs, which helped a lot and completely cured my PMT. The downside was that they killed my libido and made it impossible for me to 'get there'. Also what I couldn't understand was that there was no cause whatsoever for me to feel anxious - everything in my life was/is good and it was so out of character for me.

Anyway, I recently turned 45. Over the last year I've had a couple of periods heavier than usual, and a couple of times I've been a few days early. But now I'm ten days late and I'm freaking out slightly. I've never, never been late before other than when I've been PG. I'm 45 and more importantly, DH had a vasectomy 12 years ago, so I'm thinking it's hugely unlikely - but still worrying about the minute possibility. I just can't face doing a test - if I was PG it would be an awful shock for various health, work, lifestyle, and a million other reasons. But I don't think I could go through with a termination sad. Basically my life would be screwed.

I also realise it could be the perimenopause. But that possibility has shocked me, because my DM had cancer in her early 50's, leading to her having her ovaries removed, and up until then she'd not had any menopause symptoms - so I have always assumed that I won't either at least until I'm in my 50's.

So could my period being this late mean I'm having an early menopause? Or do people sometimes just miss a period for no reason, even if they never have before? I'm having no other symptoms, ie no hot flushes, etc, but is a missed period and anxiety (which is probably still there underneath the mask of the ADs) enough to diagnose it?

RudyMentary Thu 19-Jan-17 10:26:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RudyMentary Thu 19-Jan-17 10:29:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wifework Thu 19-Jan-17 10:32:04

Unfortunately not doing the test doesn't make you not pregnant.

You are most likely not though. Deep breath and take the test.

piefacerecords Thu 19-Jan-17 10:35:46

I know wife. I'm scared though, pathetic as it is. I've always been strongly against terminations but I really don't know how I could cope with another baby now. I just want it to go away.

Rudy so you don't think I'm too young? Everything I've read online suggests that women follow the same patterns their mothers did - so I know I'm not technically too young, but I am for what I would expect in my family?

wifework Thu 19-Jan-17 11:07:11

It's not pathetic, but you still have to know what you're dealing with. Much less scary.

As for the perimenopause, it could easily be that but it could also just be a random blip. Plus you may know when your mum had the menopause but perimenopause is (seems anyway) so indistinct you might not know when she started having those symptoms.

Good luck with the test!

piefacerecords Thu 19-Jan-17 11:10:33

That's true. And actually, she has always said I'm lucky that my AF is so regular as hers was always all over the place - so maybe if her cycle had started changing in her 40s, she wouldn't have known anyway.

I think I will give my AF until Monday and then do a test...

This is all extremely crap sad

RudyMentary Thu 19-Jan-17 11:12:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rufus27 Thu 19-Jan-17 11:13:44

You dont always follow your mother's pattern: I hit peri menopause in my late thirties and was menopausal by 42. My mum still had regular periods at 58!
I found the website Menopause matters fantastic. Especially this article:

it's also worth googling 'the 34 symptoms of peri menopause'.

Rufus27 Thu 19-Jan-17 11:17:42

PS Not everyone has hot flushes (I've only ever had cold flushes). Some of the lesser known symptoms can be quite random - for me it was tingling, numbness, pins and needles, crushing fatigue and nausea. Took years to realise it was hormone related!

fallenempires Thu 19-Jan-17 11:23:51

It's hideous!I had this recently after always having a 28 day cycle.Mine was 18 days late! I'm mid 40's too.What symptons have you had?

EllenRipley Thu 19-Jan-17 11:26:31

I'm soon to be 46 and have been noticeably peri for at least a year, I think you are probably in the zone! Peri can last a long time and your cycle changing could be the first small (ish) sign. A few of my periods were v.late this year which has been a novel experience, but I also had a couple of ovarian cysts (one resolved itself, the other surgically removed) which were discovered after I'd developed some gynae issues and I'm pretty sure they screwed up my cycle. Since the surgery I've had two normal length cycles, though I'm still somewhat plagued by some other peri symptoms. I wouldn't panic but if your periods are erratic and there's more pain/bleeding than normal it wouldn't hurt to get your GP to refer you for a gynae check up. X

fallenempires Thu 19-Jan-17 11:36:02

Just another thought.Have you had anything stressful happening in your life recently? Also when you were due on did you feel that your body was wanting to start? Sounds weird I know but in my case I had early labour type pains.Be warned though that when AF arrives it will be the mother of all AF's.sad

piefacerecords Thu 19-Jan-17 11:36:58

fallen Ooh that's interesting to hear....

The only other symptoms I've had over the last couple of years is a horrible general anxiety popping out out of nowhere, for no reason, which I have really struggled to shake off. I've also had PMT from hell. I've also found my libido has disappeared but I put that down to the AD's I was prescribed for the anxiety.

No hot flushes/night sweats, etc.

What about you? DId your AF go back to normal after the 18 day late one?

piefacerecords Thu 19-Jan-17 11:40:21


Wierdly this month I didn't have my usual symptoms that AF was on it's way. I usually get horribly sore boobs for about a week but that just didn't happen. I also usually know when I'm ovulating as I feel (unusually) up for it! But that didn't happen either. Could I have just not ovulated at all?

Nothing particularly stressful, although I did have a big argument with a family member over Christmas which was a bit shit. All sorted now though.

DramaAlpaca Thu 19-Jan-17 11:41:27

It sounds like peri-menopause to me, it's very similar to what happened to my cycle in my mid-40s.

I'd always had a totally regular 28 day cycle, then it changed when I was 44 so sometimes I'd only get 3 weeks between periods and sometimes it would be two months. They also got a lot heavier. I had no other symptoms of peri-menopause either, but the period situation made me utterly miserable. I ended up with a Mirena coil which has meant the end of periods altogether (hallelujah!) and I still have no troublesome menopausal symptoms at 52.

I also didn't know about my DM's menopause as she had a hysterectomy at 44, so I had nothing to compare myself to.

Given your age and the fact that your DH has had a vasectomy (as has mine) I'd say the chances of pregnancy are almost non-existent. I'd still be doing a test for reassurance though.

piefacerecords Thu 19-Jan-17 11:41:31

Ellen I think I'll give it the weekend then I will either do a test and/or see my GP. But I'm hoping the whole problem will have gone away by then...

Titsywoo Thu 19-Jan-17 11:47:42

Hi pieface I am in a similar position although I am 38. I am still waiting for my period and it is now 25 days late! My DH also had a vasectomy and PG test was negative. Doctor wasn't too concerned (although I do have damage to my fallopian tubes and one ovary after PID years ago but it has never caused a problem before) but she did order FSH blood tests which I am waiting for the result of. I am also quite jittery and anxious and my moods are all over the place.

Definitely see the GP for blood tests but it is likely to be perimenopause.

fallenempires Thu 19-Jan-17 11:56:15

Don't know yet.Have literally just decided to arrive on Friday 13th ffs.grin It was so heavy that I was unable to leave the house for the first two days.
Weirdly enough I was very aware of ovulating last month.Prior to being due on I was also getting clear cm and lots of it.
I have however had an awful time of things lately,mentally I know that I'm stressed so that may well have impacted on my cycle too.

fallenempires Thu 19-Jan-17 11:59:06

Drama I'm glad that you are positive about the Mirena as I'm going to have one fitted soon.

PollyPerky Thu 19-Jan-17 13:17:32

perimeno is the stage leading up to meno (last period ever) and can last for 10 years. The average age for meno in UK is 51-52. Having irregular periods at 45 is not unusual. In fact it's quite normal! I know many women whose periods were all over by 47/48. It's a slow process usually, over a few years. Cycles can be longer- skipping 2-4 months or more, (even 11 months) or shorter (I had some 17 days cycles.)

DRs won't do blood tests for peri /meno in women 45 and over- NICE has said not to- waste of NHS cash and inaccurate tests anyway because hormones are all over the place in peri meno.

You might get on better with HRT for your anxiety and mood swings rather than ADs. NICE says GPs are not to prescribe ADs for psychological issues connected to lower hormones.

piefacerecords Thu 19-Jan-17 14:00:42

Thanks Polly - that's interesting. I do wonder why my GP went straight onto prescribing AD's rather than considering it might be hormonal - particularly as I told him it seemed connected to my PMS. The thing now is that I wouldn't want to just stop taking them because they definitely have helped - even though the side effects aren't great confused

I feel like I've spent my life with my head in the sand because I've suddenly realised I know absolutely bugger all about this subject, and I assumed the whole thing was still years off. Is it just me?

PollyPerky Thu 19-Jan-17 14:04:45

If you're having side effects it's worth reconsidering....

The age of meno is classed as between 45-55. Average is 51/52.

I've known friends whose mums had an early meno (39 ish) but friends went on to their 50s so it doesn't always work out the same.

Also, as I said, the slowing down takes years.I had some mid cycle spotting around 47 but dr at time said nothing to worry about and probably hormonal. I also had some slightly odd periods- a bit stop and start in a cycle. But then it settled down and my last period was around 53.

DramaAlpaca Thu 19-Jan-17 16:43:09

fallenempires good luck with your Mirena fitting, hope it works out for you. I can honestly say it completely changed my life, and I'd have days like you describe when my period was so heavy I didn't want to leave the house. Be prepared for it to take a few months to settle down though.

fallenempires Thu 19-Jan-17 19:19:35

Thank you! You have given me hope as another regular 28 day-er! Sadly can't get the fitting until early next month on whatever day of my currently mucked up cycle that may be.You have made me feel positive though!smile

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