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I'm heading towards trouble. I need some kind of tablet. Can anyone help please?

(88 Posts)
Goingtobeawesome Sat 27-Feb-16 09:28:11

GP did a blood test. Said not pre/peri menopausal.
Saw consultant who said menopause can not be diagnosed with blood tests.
She is treating me for something else and has referred me to two other people I need.

Finished period yesterday. The time between is getting shorter and I feel heavier at times. This morning I am feeling pretty bad to be honest. Just want to cry and die tbh.

I have a lot of stress with no support other than DH who can't understand as not me. People who should and could help, won't.

I feel as well as that I do have hormonal stuff going on. I feel like I did when depressed but I know ADs won't help and I react too badly for them to be tried again.

I take starflower oil for breast pain and Angus cactus for PMT. both really work so I think a menopause vitamin type thingy would suit me. Can anyone please advise and hold my hand.

PollyPerky Sat 27-Feb-16 11:21:12

Sorry you feel rubbish.

TBH, the new NICE menopause guidelines state very clearly that ADs are not to be used to women who are anxious or have low mood when in peri. They recommend HRT instead.

Unless you have real medical reasons not to use HRT then that is the best treatment for your symptoms after you discuss it more with your GP.

There is plenty of anecdotal stuff about herbs etc but none of them are proven to work. The RCOG published a leaflet on all types of alternative treatments and scientific research- it's online if you google.

Goingtobeawesome Sat 27-Feb-16 11:51:00

GP adamant I'm not pre menopausal as the blood tests says not I've never fitted the symptoms and blood test crap so I'm not going to get anywhere with him. I do find that SF and AC help so I will look at the alternatives, thank you.

PollyPerky Sat 27-Feb-16 12:33:53

What and when did your GP test?
How old are you?

It's worth reading the NICE guidelines on menopause (google.)

In brief:
GPs are not to give blood tests to women over 45 as this is peri territory, so treat symptoms anyway.
Women under 45 need a blood test in case they are having a premature menopause and then NICE advise treatment with HRT.

Blood tests are done on days 2-5 of a cycle. Sometimes in 2 consecutive months to allow for fluctuations.

Goingtobeawesome Sat 27-Feb-16 17:19:44

I argued about the two tests. The nurse assured me one was sufficient and that was how she was diagnosed. Was done on day 20 iirc. I miscounted so I know it was a day wrong. Told this didn't matter.

The consultant told me this week you can't diagnose menopause with a blood test. I am confused.

I have hot flushes - I am normally cold a lot so I've noticed when I'm sweating/flushing.
I have a period every 26 days now and they last a day or so more.
Thought I'd finished yesterday but more today.
I feel very very low. Tearful. suicidal
Tummy pains a lot (referred from scan).
I'm 44.

I'm going to read the guidelines later. Right now I could barely manage a Mr Men book.

Thank you flowers.

Badders123 Sat 27-Feb-16 17:20:23

I find menopace plus helps with the night sweats and breast pain.
I am low in vit d (dx via blood test) so I take vit d too.
Tbh the week before my period is pretty unpleasant sad but I've tried hrt and because I'm still bleeding I can't get in with it at all. My gynae said I obv don't cope well with hormonal meds! (Mirena, depo.....)
It is def something I will consider after my bleeding stops though.
I've just ordered some melatonin to help me sleep,too

Badders123 Sat 27-Feb-16 17:24:47

Going - I really sympathise. I'm 44 this year and it's bloody grim sad
I feel tearful too and get RAGES which I find hard to cope with.
If it makes you feel any better, I had a ct scan, ultrasound and colonoscopy and they were all normal.
Suffering with back/hip/knee pain ATM and have started doing stretching exercises can look them up on YouTube.
I had bloods done last year and the GP that requested them told me mine were OK and then in the same breath said"blood tests aren't very helpful anyway!" So why do them!?

PollyPerky Sat 27-Feb-16 17:48:12

The consultant is 'sort of' right. It can be hard to diagnose menopause in peri because hormone levels can fluctuate day to day. But that's why they test FSH and LH levels between days 2-5 of a cycle and then after mid month (day 14 onwards.) Some info is here At 44 you are on the cusp of average age for peri but quite young for full menopause (average age 52) if your periods stop within the next year or so.

The advice from NICE is to treat symptoms in women over 45 and not bother with blood tests because a) meno is 'normal' at this age and b) blood tests cost money.

Blood tests only help if someone is young (under 45) when the medical advice is HRT to at least 50-52 to prevent serious illnesses later on.

Goingtobeawesome Sat 27-Feb-16 18:35:49

I used to be murderous the week before my period was due for mine day. Then it used to be during and now it is on the last day of my period.

I've been diagnosed with vulvo vaginal atrophy and referred for a scan. I think to check for polyps as I bleed when I shouldn't.

Badders - I know I'm lacking in serotonin but I think I need some melatonin too. I am permanently tired. Some days it is unbearable and I fall also mid afternoon if I sit down. Last week I woke at 2:15am and didn't sleep again until that night.

I know my MIL's periods just stopped instantly with no symptoms after a shock bereavement. I've recently been through something horrible and I wonder if I'm reacting to that. DD and I used to come on at the same time, now we are way off as mine have changed so much.

I've seen menapause vitamin things in bouts and Holland and Barrett. Are they worth a try? I'm desperate. My poor husband has been tearful today when I said not to blame himself if I died. there's more it that menapause. I'm barely hanging by a thread tbh.

Thanks again everyone. I feel less alone. Much appreciated flowerswine.

Goingtobeawesome Sat 27-Feb-16 18:36:19

One day, not mine.

JapanNextYear Sat 27-Feb-16 18:40:15

I had to talk to three GPs before found one who understood menopause, was a bit younger then you, no blood test went on symptoms alone. HRT sorted it all. Well worth a try if it's not contraindicated for you.

Badders123 Sat 27-Feb-16 18:42:29

I get my melatonin from a company called biovea.
Haven't had any yet but last night was awful sleep wise so I'm trying one tonight.
I'm so sorry you feel so low. I have had a horrendous couple of years bereavement and health wise so I can empathise, but when I think back my issues started before all that began, when I was only 40.
Perhaps ads would help you? I must admit I've been tempted to ask my GP for some but if I can I want to avoid meds for as long as poss.
Check out the menopause are not alone! X

PollyPerky Sat 27-Feb-16 18:50:08

Going if you have vaginal atrophy then that is proof that your oestrogen levels are low- possibly very low. Many post meno women have this but if you have it now at 44 then it does suggest your oestrogen levels have fallen.

Has your GP or gynae offered you vaginal oestrogen? They should- ask for it.

TBH all your symptoms- the tiredness etc- are very very common during peri and the treatment is oestrogen.

Unless you have serious risk factors for HRT then you should ask for it and in a few days or weeks you may well feel like a new woman! Please, don't bother with other stuff to tinker with the problem- you need the real McCoy!

Goingtobeawesome Sat 27-Feb-16 19:13:27

I have been given some cream. I've had my period so haven't even opened the bag yet. Weirdly, some of the symptoms have disappeared but I will use the cream.

Goingtobeawesome Sun 28-Feb-16 16:34:25

Grrr have had a crap day. Feels like PMT x a hundred.

Badders123 Sun 28-Feb-16 20:57:33

Well my period started today so the nausea, acid reflux, cramps bad HeadAche have kicked in.
I thought my periods were horrendous in my teens!

Goingtobeawesome Mon 29-Feb-16 07:30:09

I'm sorry you're having a tough time, Badders.

I used the cream for the first time yesterday. Leaflet is so small I have no idea how long before I feel better.

Today I'm a hormonal mess. My DH is so miserable and it is all my fault. I'm struggling with emotional stuff as well as stressful legal stuff and I just wish I could run away.

PollyPerky Mon 29-Feb-16 09:49:21

when you say the leaflet is small, what do you mean?
Have you been prescribed Ovestin? The leaflet in the box is really big, so maybe you've been given something else.
Ovestin will help your vaginal atrophy but it could take several weeks. It won't help your other symptoms because it's not absorbed into the system- it only works on the vaginal tissues.

You should seriously think about HRT- is there any reason why you won't?

Badders123 Mon 29-Feb-16 10:05:41

It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of life stress ATM.
Not sure that's anything to do with your peri menopause but it will sure as hell make the symptoms worse! sad
You poor thing.
It's very cruel that just when women are often dealing with teenage kids, elderly relatives, bereavement and work woes that menopause starts, it's no wonder so many of us struggle.
Take care X

Goingtobeawesome Mon 29-Feb-16 12:08:40

PP - I meant the writing. I have a problem with my eyes so reading small print is really hard. It is Ovestin. I put the first dose in last night and I think some came out this morning confused.

I haven't been offered HRT. My GP says I'm not menapausal. Not sure where I go from here.

I have no family. The loss is incalculable. I'd like the worry of caring for grandparents sad. I'm failing as a mum and wife at the moment and just want someone to look after me.

PollyPerky Mon 29-Feb-16 14:04:48

Ovestin has to be used for 14 days every day then 2 days a week from then on. Some will come out in the morning but don't worry about that.

Your GP is talking rubbish.

Can you see someone else at the surgery or even change practices?

From what you have said, you are peri menopausal and suffering with low mood, which is why NICE suggests HRT.

Have a read of this link, starting at Point 1.1 which is 'Individualised care'. If you carry on reading and go down to 1.2 and 1.3 it tells GPs what to talk to you about and treatments. If necessary print it off and take to your GP as a start of a discussion.

You can see that you have some of the symptoms of peri- low mood, bad PMT, irregular periods and vaginal atrophy. (Who prescribed the Ovestin?)

Badders123 Mon 29-Feb-16 14:11:18

Oh sad
I know that feeling.
We run around looking after everyine else....
Could you see a different GP?

vintagefiend Mon 29-Feb-16 14:33:55

invariably tests will not show anything in the early stages of peri but many gps don't know this- prof studd, a leader in this field, won't bother with blood tests under age 45 but will treat symptoms nevertheless. in fact, many gynaes expect blood tests to be normal but will treat with hormones.
i'm 44 and i have tried many different hormonal treatments and zoladex injections (which cut off sex hormones). for me, these haven't worked but they do for some women.
i am now trying venlafaxine antidepressant which has worked brilliantly for a friend of mine in exactly the same position.
you will find something that works; hang on in there- get a decent gp or push for gynae referral- maybe see one privately even if just for one appointment.
i've joined the menopause matters forum as well and it is comforting to find that you're not alone!

PollyPerky Mon 29-Feb-16 14:39:44

You might have read on the MM website too Vintage that NICE is having a big drive to get GPs to move away from ADs for menopause symptoms:

Do not routinely offer selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs) or clonidine as first-line treatment for vasomotor symptoms alone.

ADs are not the first line treatment for symptoms caused by low oestrogen. They are only helpful if women are clinically depressed and / or cannot use HRT if they are menopausal.

Prof Studd bangs on about this and rightly so. Personally (and this isn't aimed at you!) I think it's terrible that women are being given powerful, mind-altering and sometimes potentially addictive drugs when the right treatment is hormones.

Goingtobeawesome Mon 29-Feb-16 17:32:07

PP - hospital doctor prescribed it after the fill in GP referred me "to put my mind at rest" as she clearly had no idea what was wrong and actually felt nothing was. The hospital doctor has referred me for a scan too as well as to see someone else. I'm pretty sure they don't do that without good reason.

I'm pretty sure I'm depressed as have been for years really. Only picked up after dc1 when diagnosed with PND. I have had PND with every baby and had to come off the meds in the end as I felt in a fog all the time and they weren't fixing what was wrong. In my case I think it's emotional rather than chemical. And they made me fat.

Given I've no chance of an appointment before my next period and very low mood has anyone any tips for snapping out of the feelings I have? Partly outside issues but it's hard to separate those with the hormones. I hope that makes sense.

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