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Wife's sex drive has plummeted after menopause. Is it now gone forever?

(7 Posts)
deadbedroom Thu 26-Nov-15 04:08:03

Hi. I hope I am allowed to post here as a man. My wife is currently going through menopause at age 51. Her sex drive has fallen off a cliff since the process started. Without giving too much detail, there were no problems at all in the bedroom for either of us before she began experiencing symptoms of the menopause. She is adamant that she does not want HRT. Is there any chance that her libido will return at some point, or is it gone forever now that she is in menopause?

Tiredemma Thu 26-Nov-15 04:11:38

'deadbedroom'??

hmm

CockwombleJeff Thu 26-Nov-15 04:16:07

First post by any chance?

Out2pasture Thu 26-Nov-15 05:04:15

Have you discussed this with her? What is your wife's perspective?

PollyPerky Thu 26-Nov-15 09:20:14

I think you need to talk to her dead and see what she says. HRT is not usually prescribed for just (if at all) low libido. It's usually given for a whole range of symptoms that are making life a complete misery when some women are unable to function at work or in life generally. If she does have other symptoms then it might be worth her talking to her GP or going to a menopause clinic for advice.

Does she have problems with dryness and is she finding sex painful? This is common and can be easily treated with localised HRT in the form of a cream or pessary.
If this is the problem might she go to discuss it with her GP? It's very common but many women still feel embarrassed about talking about it.

I don't think anyone's got a crystal ball to tell you what will happen in the future. Most people's sex drive wanes as they age- even men! She might want sex again or she might not. You do however need to talk about it and find out if it really is the menopause or if your relationship itself is the issue and 'the menopause' is a convenient excuse for avoiding being intimate with you.

suzannecaravaggio Fri 27-Nov-15 22:24:15

'deadbedroom'??

yep, it's a 'thing'

www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/

SSargassoSea Fri 27-Nov-15 22:39:39

I would guess it will come back, but may take months / a year or so.

It did for me.

Presuming you might have another happy 30 years together is that so bad?

Just be supportive and kind.

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