Dryness 'down below'

[oldfatandtired1]

I'm 55 next month and went through the menopause 3 years ago, at much the same time as I split from my ex of 25 years. Fairly uneventful - but 3 years on I have met a very lovely new man. Sex is good but I do feel very different, a bit sore and dry. Any recommendations? Apologies if TMI, not sure whether this is sex/relationships or menopause but I never had any dryness with the ex. I fancy new man rotten and want to enjoy sex again!

[ouryve]

You need really good lube. Astroglide is a nice one - doesn't dry out and get claggy.

[oldfatandtired1]

Thank you! Will go shopping

[pinkfrocks]

what you are experiencing is vaginal atrophy .
This is very common. Lubes work to an extent but not that well because they are simply water-based gunk which coats the surface.
VA is when the vagina gets smaller and tighter. The outer layers of cells change because they are no longer plumped up with oestrogen as before meno. Lube won't help this but vaginal oestrogen will- cream or tiny pessaries. This is used twice a week for life; VA doesn't go away.
See your GP for a prescription.

[pinkfrocks]

This tells you all about it

www.menopausematters.co.uk/dryness.php

[IamTheWhoreofBabylon]

I have a vaginal ring
www.estring.com/

I've had it for 3 months. Getting it out was a fair job but I hope it will get easier
It makes me feel like I used to and no messy creams or pessaries

[marriednotdead]

I had a fairly early menopause and for various reasons, couldn't get on with the oestrogen based lubes my GP prescribed.

Discovered Sylk by chance and ordered a free sample, was brilliant and didn't irritate like the others I'd tried. Have it on prescription now

[oldfatandtired1]

Thank you everyone. This is all very new to me, I kind of sailed through menopause with no real symptoms but 3 years post marriage break up I really want to enjoy sex with new man. Will buy recommended lube but will also make GP appointment.

[Cocolepew]

I use Vagifem twice a week, horrendous name but it does the job

[pinkfrocks]

The problem with the meno OP is that the initial symptoms are - for some women- temporary, but then long-term symptoms can appear. These include VA and bladder problems, and more serious diseases like osteoporosis.

Lubes are ok for some women but they only work temporarily on the symptoms; they don't treat the actual cause which is lack of oestrogen. Without treatment, VA will continue and often get worse (some women find they have a bloody discharge because the cells lining the vagina are so fragile and thin, they get sloughed off and bleeding occurs) so it's really worth thinking about treating this properly. Good luck and congrats on your new man!

[pinkfrocks]

Just one more point- Ovestin and Vagifem (oestrogen) are not lubricants. They are used twice a week regardless of any sexual 'activity', and by women even in their 80s and 90s. You can use them with lube if you need that.
OP- if your GP is not up to date they may say you can only use oestrogen treatments for a limited time. This has now been changed so see the advice on the MM link which is written by a consultant gynae.

[PeaceOfWildThings]

Am premenopausal, but have had time when it's been a bit dry down there, so have tried out many lubes. My current favourite is Tickle Her Pink (clitoral pleasure gel) available from Amazon, LoveHoney, Anne Summers etc.

Do go and see if there is anything to help with the underlying cause, too. :-)

[oldfatandtired1]

pinkfrocks thank you, very interesting and food for thought. I did think I was 'lucky' with the menopause - no erratic periods, they just stopped! A couple of night sweats and that was it. And as, until recently, I hadn't had sex for 5 years I had no reason to worry about 'dryness'. My skin is dryer all over but so long as I moisturise it's fine. I will see a doctor but as lovely (and 7 years younger )new man is coming over tonight will nip into Boots for a lube/moisturiser.

[PeaceOfWildThings]

Honestly, nip into Ann Summers. Things have come a long way since KY jelly! The Durex ones are ok, and far better than KY, but are not as good as the ones in specialist shops, imo.

[pinkfrocks]

When I've been sitting in the waiting room to see my gynae (privately) Ive seen very old ladies being advised by the nurses on how to use vaginal HRT. They looked 80+ or more, so it's not just something to use for sex - it's to prevent soreness and other things. My mum uses it and she's pushing 90.

[oldfatandtired1]

marriednotdead I bought Sylk yesterday as new man was over last night. Very successful! pinkfrocks I have had a good look at MM, very informative. I will still see the doctor though.

[marriednotdead]

Very pleased to hear that it helped
Think it should be available free at a younger age, many women seem to suffer with dryness long before menopause/periods are over.

[oldfatandtired1]

Quick update. I saw my doctor and have been prescribed Vagifem. Yes, it is a horrendous name but certainly does the job!

[bevla]

Serenity natural progesterone cream...not a quick fix as you don't apply it downstairs, but after a month or so of use it balances all other hormones and helps. Am insanely jealous of all the sex you're getting BTW!

[Bellaciao]

Prog cream doesn't balance hormones. It just contains a low dose of progesterone but will not do anything for vaginal dryness as far as I know, which only responds to local oestrogen which acts on the oestrogen recptors which are found aplenty in this area of the body.