Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any medical concerns do consult your GP.

Menapause and Anxiety

(8 Posts)
Chissy999 Sun 20-Sep-15 17:08:02

I thought most women went through the change by 45, so I have been waiting and waiting, Im now 52.

I still get regular periods, so am I going through anything? I had a blood test last year, and it didn't show anything.

I have been getting anxiety, crying, more sensitive about things, no hot sweats. I think so anyway.
Can you get these symptoms while being regular. These mood swings I am getting are so horrible. Maybe its just me.

Is this the end of my life as I knew it. I feel so down not all of the time, just some of it.

I so miss my children not being young any more, My daughter got married last year, now my son is moving out soon, I have 4 children, my other daughter is ill and been in hospital for 2 years, I will only have one son living with me and my husband.
This is not my favourite time of my life.

pinkfrocks Sun 20-Sep-15 17:50:08

Sorry you feel so rough.
The average age of menopause is 52- not 45.
Sometimes when we are close to the menopause we have regular periods but we aren't ovulating - or only ovulating now and then. This means you can get the symptoms you have because hormones will be fluctuating.
Blood tests are not reliable because of these daily fluctuations.

No- this is not the end of your life as you knew it! Yes one day you won't have periods, but you can look forward to another 30-40 years of life - and hopefully feel good!

I suggest you have a good read of the website Menopause Matters- all the facts about what to expect and support such as diet, exercise and really looking after 'you' to help how you feel, and using HRT if you want to.

If you have put a lot of time and energy into your family, can you start to think about what makes you happy - not JUST being a mum? (Sorry to hear about your DD- must be very hard for you.)

Maybe you could do some volunteering one day a week, or join some clubs or activities so you cope better with the empty nest syndrome? It's normal to feel a bit blue when kids leave home (though also give a big sigh of relief at times too!) and you need to find something to replace that and look forward to something different.

Chissy999 Sun 20-Sep-15 18:57:03

Thank you Pinkfrocks.
If it is the menopause, then it feels worse than what I was expecting.

I know you are right, thank you for your wisdom, it is very helpful. I never understood about the symptoms before, I thought you had to have at least one missed period. I didn't know you don't always ovulate even though you are regular.
I will be pleased when its all over.
The problem with me is, I don't actually want to go out, I love being at home, I have my lovely cats and a few things I like doing here like art. When I go out I miss my home. Weird or what!! I need a holiday, but I don't want to go without our kids, its not the same.

Im going to make myself do a pottery course after Christmas or something like that.
I used to do dancing, art and other things, I had to give it all up, my daughter was so ill.
I always looked forward to this time of life, we were going to do all the things we couldn't do when the children were young. Now I don't want to, its not the same.

Ive gone on a mild anti depressant, I don't want HRT.
I hope that helps

Thanks again

pinkfrocks Sun 20-Sep-15 19:38:09

It sounds as if you have lost your mo-jo smile
Great that you are considering getting out and doing a course- what about work? Fancy doing something part time maybe?

I hear what you say about HRT but maybe keep an open mind. This is what the latest guidelines from NICE say about low mood, ADs and HRT. This information went out to drs 1 June this year.

Psychological symptoms
Consider HRT to alleviate low mood in menopausal women.
Consider cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) to alleviate low mood
and anxiety in menopausal women.

Ensure that menopausal women and healthcare professionals
involved in their care understand that there is no clear evidence for
SSRIs or SNRIs to ease low mood in menopausal women who have not been diagnosed with depression (see the NICE guidelines on depression in adults).

pinkfrocks Sun 20-Sep-15 19:52:24

Basically, if that above isn't clear, it's saying that drs should not prescribe ADs for women around the time of the menopause unless they have been diagnosed (also) with clinical depression.

There has been a lot of media discussion on this lately- Woman's Hour did it a few months back and it's been on other medical programmes. There is now a concern amongst consultants that GPs are prescribing ADs inappropriately and that thousands of middle aged women are given them when they should have other treatment- which can include exercise ( shown to help manage depression), CBT and HRT.

Chissy999 Sun 20-Sep-15 22:21:54

I have had some sort of CBT. It has helped. Its not a magic wand. To be honest, when the feeling comes on, nothing helps. I just hope it will pass quickly.

Im too scared of HRT, Im so worried about getting ill, that's part of my anxiety at the moment. I am a lot better but its still there.
I wonder why my Doc didn't talk about HRT mind you. I asked her if it could be because of menopause, and she just said any hormone changes can do this. They just don't have much time to really talk anymore.
I mean at the end of the day, she is not a psychiatrist so I was wondering how much she knows. If I get worse, I will go back to IAPT, if you know what that is.

I work full time. I wanted to volunteer with Home start, Id love that but I couldn't get time off work to do the training course.
My time will come for that I think.

I also volunteer with Mental health services to help people to care for family members with serous conditions. I run groups and I am organising a conference, You would think this would help wouldn't you.

pinkfrocks Mon 21-Sep-15 08:33:44

Sounds as if you have a lot going on- maybe too much?

I'd suggest having a good read of all the information on about HRT so you aren't 'scared' of it. There are risks with any drugs and ADs can have just as many side effects, but this tends not to be publicised. Unless you are unable to use HRT for medical reasons then your GP ought to suggest it, and discuss risks and benefits with you, rather than giving you ADs if you are not clinically depressed.

Chissy999 Mon 21-Sep-15 09:54:25

Thank you, I will have a good read of that site.

I will talk to the GP, very interesting she didn't offer that or at least look into it a bit more.

Problem is, there is no test to see if I am clinically depressed or if its hormones as far as I know.
I thought a Psychiatrist would be a better person to ask as they specialise in both issues.

Your advise has been very good, thank you and thank you for the link, I needed something to read, I never seem to find anything much good, most of my friends seem to be quite vague about when they went through the menopause.

Some people seem to blame everything on it, and I didn't want to do that.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: