Post menopause - are these things normal?

[WankerDeAsalWipe]

I'm 49, haven't had a period for 3 years and prior to that I had one a year for about 3 years.

At the moment i feel really emotional all the time to the point where I am constantly tearful and feel stressed and upset about stuff that wouldn't have bothered me in the past. I also seem to be getting quick to anger and then I wonder why I was so angry afterwards.

I do have a busy life and work full time as well as juggling a house and two teenagers and my DH has depression issues from time to time.

I feel tired and stressed a lot, i'm getting headaches not sleeping well, overeating and really can't be bothered doing things but then get annoyed that things aren't done and life is flashing by. For example it's our holidays in 3 weeks, we have time booked off and have had for months but still don't have anything booked because I can't make a decision and no-one else is either......then i get upset that nothing is booked and then feel unloved and uncared for - it doesn't really make any sense and I hate feeling like this. :(

I can't really talk it about it with my DH as I feel that once I do I'll get so upset that we'll end up splitting up - which isn't really rational either. :(

Is this normal post menopausal stuff that should pass or do I maybe have depression?

[pinkfrocks]

You really need to see your dr and talk about HRT. What you describe is 'normal' in a way but if at 49 you have not had a regular periods for 6 years ( starting at 43) that is considered an early menopause. (Average age is 52.) You need a chat with your dr not only about your emotional symptoms but about using HRT at least to 52-53 and maybe longer as it's possible your bone density is lower due to low oestrogen in your early 40s. This will put you at a higher risk for osteoporosis - and also heart disease.
Make an appt with your GP and if they aren't clued up on meno or won't consider HRT then find another GP who will.

[Earlybird]

This doesn't sound like post menopausal issues to me. You sound tired, stressed, overwhelmed, and as if you've been holding everything together for an awfully long time with very little support / input from family members.

When was the last time you had some real time for yourself to relax?

As far as your immediate issue - the holiday - why not divide up the research among various family members and ask them to come back to you with suggestions. You can then have a family meeting to discuss and agree a plan.

Or find something last minute/all inclusive so there is not much to 'figure out'.

[Bellaciao]

Low oestrogen most definitely can be responsible for low mood and tiredness and reduction in get up and go! Do you have other menopausal symptoms eg flushes, sweats, bladder problems? Symptoms caused by depleted oestorgen do not usually oass because ooestrogen deficiency lasts forever. In many women some of the temporary symptoms due to extrem hormonal fluctuations - flushes, sweats, mood wings, rage anxiety, tiredness - amongst others - do pass. In some women some of these symptoms last for a very long time. Please do not assume you have depression for what may well be a hormonal reason and I would agree with pinkfrocks - HRT sounds like it might help you and protect your long-term health.

As for booking holidays - I always do this in our household! if no-one else can make a decision then you choose somewhere you know you will enjoy and you hope the other (s) will too!

[WankerDeAsalWipe]

Thanks pinkfrocks, I hadn't really thought about that - I rarely ever go to the doctors - I'm a bit phobic and tend to avoid from my own perspective though obviously I always took the kids when they needed.

Early - I thinks that's true - I really feel on the edge and that everything is my responsibility - i am the major wage earner too.

I don't think I know how to relax - i know how to do nothing, but I don't feel relaxed. I think i may also be a control freak. OH has some time of and he is planning to do some clearing out - it's making me anxious as either he'll throw stuff away and I wont know what, or he'll leave everything for me to decide which will also annoy me as I'll be forced into doing it when I come home from work - I know it makes no sense :(

I've tried that with the holiday but no one comes up with anything and I cant be bothered - I feel too fat to go abroad now and we have kind of run out of options in the UK - I know he'd rather stay in the UK but says he will do anything.

I don't know :(

[penny13610]

Wanker you sound like my long lost twin.
Visit GP, get hormone levels checked and sorted. HRT is wonderful.
When restored to your normal fabulous self you will able to sort all those things again.

[WankerDeAsalWipe]

Thanks Bellaciao - I haven't had sweats or flushes since the very beginning - nothing for years so I guess that's another reason I didn't think about HRT - I thought I'd more or less sailed through everything.

Only other symptoms I have is struggling with my memory from time to time and a few of my knuckles feel sore to the touch but not to move - not sure if that is related.

That's what is so weird about the holiday (this is the same for other things too btw) is that I always did just make the decision or at least just offer a couple of choices but I don't seem able to do that anymore and I'm getting annoyed that people aren't helping but actually they never have, it's me that's changed and I don't really know why I am getting annoyed and feeling stubborn and sad etc.

[pinkfrocks]

Memory and concentration problems are frequent during menopause for some women as are joint problems.
As a PP said, some symptoms come and go quickly, others stay for years and some new problems arise the longer you are without oestrogen.
It's important to try to have a healthier lifestyle as well as think about HRT or other treatments, because it's not a case of any one treatment working 100% on its own. A healthy diet, exercise, being a sensible weight and trying to find time to relax and switch off are all just as important.