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Menopause blues... advice please :)

(24 Posts)
guineapiglet Wed 26-Feb-14 19:19:57

Can't tell you how helpful reading these threads are - have just moved to an area with no RL friends, and just turned 52, think I am in the thick of it now, no periods for 4 months, non stop crying, anxiety and hot sweats, and constant anger - utterly horrible. My main health worry is that I have high BP so have tried very hard to cope without HRT. Hoever, I hate watching my family suffer as well, with mood swings and tears, so am now going to see GP to at least give HRT a go - I had hoped to get through it without medication, I find it unbelievable that 50% of the population will, at some stage, suffer with this, and there is so little available. IF anyone is going through similiar in SO22 area, please do get in touch. I could really do with some advice re HRT patches, as many of you have seen such good results. Are these preferable to tablets, and would they work with a person with high BP?

Sending warm ( but not too warm) and window opening good wishes to all fellow sufferers grin

1966gettingold Wed 26-Feb-14 19:25:09

Go to a forum called menopause matters you will feel like you have found your best friends.

NCISaddict Wed 26-Feb-14 19:29:19

I'm 49 and haven't had a period since August, night sweats, insomnia and forgetting things. I can't remember anything which seeing I'm doing a degree is not ideal.
A strange effect at the moment is my libido has shot up, very odd and a pity DH's hasn't.blush

jaffacakesallround Thu 27-Feb-14 08:31:42

Why do you think that managing without HRT is some kind of goal to achieve?

It's not medication- it's replacing what you would have. Years ago most women died at 40-50. Now we live to our 80s our bodies have not yet adapted to living 30+ years without oestrogen.

Patches- or there is also a gel- are safer because they do not cause blood clots.

Are you doing anything about your BP- do you need to lose weight or start exercising? Most high BP is lifestyle-linked.

FuckyNell Thu 27-Feb-14 08:51:59

All hrt carries the same risk, whichever route it's administered. It's wrong to scare women into believing one way is 'better' or 'safer' than another. Contra indications of all types of hrt read the same.

It's very individual, and no one size fits all.

Hrt for me is a measured risk against quality of life. One I gladly take, as I would be very miserable indeed without it. Not to mention at risk of contracting illnesses associated with an early (premature) menopause.

Some women prefer patches to pills because they forget to take the pill; some women prefer the pill because it's more discreet etc.

It's each to their own.

guineapiglet Thu 27-Feb-14 09:40:29

hi all and thanks for your frank and helpful replies so much appreciated... I guess I wanted to manage without medication having heard such Grim stories about HRT in general, but after months of feeling crap have decided to give it a go. * jaffa* trying hard to manage BP with lifestyle but am up against heart disease and diabetes in the family ( mum and dad).. do need to lose some weight and do more exercise etc always mindful of that. fuck thanks for clarifying re types of HRT, I do think we are sold the fact that pills are worse re clotting etc so this does help. I have decided a trial six months is a good start! thanks all .

jaffacakesallround Thu 27-Feb-14 13:29:12

Fucky I am sorry but you are mistaken. There are countless research papers on the web which show that a transdermal route is safer re. blood clots. I'm suprised you don't know this if you take it. There is also evidence that different types of progestogens and how much is taken affect breast cancer.

This is a link to one of them but there are many more.


jaffacakesallround Thu 27-Feb-14 13:31:38

FuckY and OP

this is from
scroll down to the RISKS and then to VTE. It states very clearly that pills increase the risk 3 x over transdermal routes.


FuckyNell Thu 27-Feb-14 14:15:27

I know all the risks of hrt.
They are all measured against individual circumstances.
Eg if you smoke, are overweight, drink alcohol, are physically fit etc.

taking all of the above into consideration IMO there is no one hrt safer than the other. Whatmay be deemed safer for one lady based on her circumstances or health may not be deemed safer for another lady in different circumstances.

Each risk is individual.

guineapiglet Thu 27-Feb-14 14:23:51

thanks again both, very helpful report jaffa and as you say does state that some risks are lessened esp re diabetes and clotting, with transdermal method.

what a complicated and total minefield it is, to try and improve one huge aspect of your health by increasing possibility of other serious health conditions.... I still remain concerned about hypertension though as BP very borderline and it is one of the contra indications in the report.

ta very much for all your advice.

jaffacakesallround Thu 27-Feb-14 14:25:03

Oh so you are not willing to believe research as shown in the links?

Do you actually understand how research works? It allows for individual differences such as smokers, women who are overweight etc. This is put into the data.

Sorry but you clearly do not know all the risks because if you did you'd know that the difference in blood clots between pills and transdermal has been known about for years.

It's not to do with individual risk- it's about research over huge numbers of women. That is what research shows.

Additional lifestyle behaviour adds additional risk on top of the differences between different products.

You need to read about it- seriously.

jaffacakesallround Thu 27-Feb-14 14:27:24

That was for Fucky btw- not you guinea!

jaffacakesallround Thu 27-Feb-14 14:32:44

Guinea if you ask for HRT with your history then if your dr is doing their job well, they will give you transdermal.

Here is another link

Clots and types of HRT

You can see from the date that this research was done some time ago and it has been accepted for many years that this is the case.

You might like to read or join the Menopause Matters website/ forum where there is a lot more info.

lovelymumof4 Thu 27-Feb-14 16:06:53

Fucky!! Oh i say! Hahaha Surely you can't call someone Fucky!

FuckyNell Thu 27-Feb-14 16:54:18

I'm not joining an argument with you Jaffa.

guineapiglet Thu 27-Feb-14 17:21:27

- But doesn't this conflict of info/data/reasearch/studies etc only show what a bloody minefield it all is - trying to get it from the 'horse's mouth' and make an informed and intelligent choice seems nigh on impossible because there is so much conflicting empirical evidence, precisely because we are all individuals and one size does not fit all. I am appalled and saddened by how little progress has been made to address this crucially important health issue - if men had the menopause it would have been dealt with sensibly years ago. It is precisely why it causes angst - it is emotional and exhausting and there is no clear path through it. A counsellor friend of mine said how hugely underestimated it is in terms of wellbeing, marital breakup, mental health issues etc. 50% of the population ffs.

<gets off soap box>

guineapiglet Thu 27-Feb-14 17:22:42

PS the website you mention is very helpful - real people!

jaffacakesallround Thu 27-Feb-14 19:11:57


There is no conflict of info.

I have linked you to 3 pieces of info- only 3 of oodles out there- and cannot quite see how anyone thinks they are 'conflicting'. Which horses' mouth do you want it from if you are not willing to accept these research stats?

The only conflict I can see is one misinformed poster here who cannot or will not read the research papers.

I have had it from a very good horse's mouth- my specialist gynae who is a FRCOG and extremely eminent in his field and has written a book on the topic.

guineapiglet Thu 27-Feb-14 21:41:46

thanks jaffa your help is well informed and I am always one to read round a subject including research etc, I guess what I mean is if you read all the threads and every woman's individual experience, there are many horses' mouths to listen to......! I am trying to say there is no absolute clear way through it ...if that makes sense, however I am convinced by the research in the article you attached and will be making my decision based on this and the opinion of my gp next week.
many thanks for the links.

jaffacakesallround Thu 27-Feb-14 22:56:07

I hope you get on okay.

I am lucky to have found a very good consultant gynae and most of my knowledge comes from him. He'd be the first to say that HRT ( or not) has to be a personalised approach.

If you go to the Menopause Matters website and look at the links to HRT you will see risks and benefits for women at various ages, as well as information on the better safety profile of certain types of HRT.

You might also like to look at the website of the British Menopause Society which again has stats and lots of info.

Good luck!

wishicouldstopworrying Fri 28-Feb-14 16:33:47

I reckon that if Jaffa is on hrt it can't be working very well, I am only this stroppy on bad pmt days!

lovelymumof4 Fri 28-Feb-14 17:38:44

You don't know the power menopausal mood swings have over you Wishi! You are lucky you still get PMT!

wishicouldstopworrying Fri 28-Feb-14 20:51:10

I'm in the peri stage so have menopausal symptoms and pmt! It's great confused.
But on the whole I try to be sympathetic to other mners, not high-handed and brusque.

NCISaddict Fri 28-Feb-14 22:33:45

I'm very confused about my symptoms, my periods seem to have stopped overnight, nothing for six months now but just a few night sweats insomnia and high libido which doesn't seem to fit with anybody else.
I also try to be sympathetic to everyone suffering where ever they are. It's tough enough not knowing whats happening to your body, if only it followed a set pathway with set timescales!

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