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Childless & Not working - opinions please

(620 Posts)
AmericanAngle Wed 16-Feb-05 17:38:31

Hello. I am 34 and don't have any children yet. Everytime I think about it I come to mumsnet and it gives me a dose of reality. Also this article
really makes me wonder:
* Is there some consipiracy for mothers to convince other people that motherhood is the best joy in life while secretly hating every second of it?

* Is there a book someone can recommend on the 'realities' of parenthood - unspoken facts that may not be obvious.

* Mothers with teenage 19yr old or so & college age children, looking back if you simply could have traveled the world and spent time with your husband, would you have traded this for having kids? ***** be honest ****

I'm an American Expat living here in London and I don't currently work (I was previouslyin IT and had a career meltdown). I am actually not sure what todo. My husband and I are considering having kids but it scares me to death- the pain & nasty issues surrounding pregnancy that are not publicly discussed to the completely losing my mind doing baby babble all day and then to not having respect for myself because I gave up my purpose in the world, to self actualize (I haven't actualized yet for the record).

SO, I am seeking comments- whether to see if people just call me 'selfish' or say 'good for you' or whatever. Please help give me a dose of reality and what you would do if you were in my shoes!


memyselfandaye Mon 20-Jun-16 17:27:28

Just when you think you have read the most batshit post ever on here....

Jody Can your coven fix it for me to win the lottery tomorrow?

Jody77868 Mon 20-Jun-16 17:21:41

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Chocolate1000 Mon 05-Mar-07 16:52:26


Read halfway down the page and my brain started to creak so I gave up .

MrsGoranVisnjic Wed 21-Feb-07 12:38:43

an all-time classic Mumsnet thread

<sigh> them's were the days

can we get it back to this kind of stuff please

JingleShells Fri 09-Dec-05 19:35:59

How did I miss this at the time??? Classic.

HappyMumof2TurtleDoves Fri 09-Dec-05 18:36:14

oh ok, thanks

feastofsteven Fri 09-Dec-05 18:27:45

she wrote "We need to talk about Kevin", this year's Orange Women's Fiction Prize Winner

HappyMumof2TurtleDoves Fri 09-Dec-05 18:23:40

sorry to be dim but who's Lionel Shriver???

feastofsteven Fri 09-Dec-05 18:21:43

remember reading article by Lionel a few months ago where one of her regrets at deciding not to have children was not passing down her wonderful genetic inheritance of intelligence etc for future generations.

harpsiheraldangelssing Fri 09-Dec-05 18:20:07

quite quite loopy
classic stuff

shepherdswatchedtheirflockets Fri 09-Dec-05 18:19:21

Message withdrawn

HappyMumof2TurtleDoves Fri 09-Dec-05 18:19:02

got a bit paranoid there, thought you were warning me off Member Profiles, as I'd said I'd never post a pic of me or kids here

harpsiheraldangelssing Fri 09-Dec-05 18:17:27

lockets, twiglett bumped it for me to read because I wanted to know about self actualisation
highly entertaining

shepherdswatchedtheirflockets Fri 09-Dec-05 18:16:26

Message withdrawn

HappyMumof2TurtleDoves Fri 09-Dec-05 18:15:02


shepherdswatchedtheirflockets Fri 09-Dec-05 18:09:47

Message withdrawn

HappyMumof2TurtleDoves Fri 09-Dec-05 18:08:27

pmsl at AA's view on adoption - I wonder whether she applied to adopt? Do you reckon she would have made it through the process?
Adopted kids 'grateful' to have a mother??? WTF?

MARINAtivityPlay Fri 09-Dec-05 14:41:38

I do think Lionel is self-actualised to a tee puddle
and those mittens give me the willies

puddle Fri 09-Dec-05 14:36:49

lol marina at Lionel. She of the fingerless black leather gloves INDOORS.

noddyholder Fri 09-Dec-05 14:33:45

I was the least likely person ever to want or have kids but it is truly life changing and fab

HappyMumof2TurtleDoves Fri 09-Dec-05 14:32:22

I know, I can't understand how I missed it either!
Reminds me a bit of ASTU, wasn't s/he an American too? Wonder if they were related or the same person?

MARINAtivityPlay Fri 09-Dec-05 14:29:53

You see what happens when you absent yourself from Mn for too long NN
You miss gems like this one.
I do wonder if AA turned out to be Lionel Shriver...
Thanks for disinterring Curmudgeonlett

HappyMumof2TurtleDoves Fri 09-Dec-05 14:27:17

I have just read this thread, well as much as I could be bothered, and I am sorry but what a load of bollocks

amyd2 Thu 08-Dec-05 20:44:31

if you want kids then have them if you dont then dont. nobody knows what to do untill they're here and when they are we wonder why we didnt do it sooner. we all have days when we ask why did we have them but in reality we wouldnt be without them.

Nightynight Thu 08-Dec-05 19:02:11

<<wipes tears out of eyes>>
how did I miss this thread before?

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