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Any shy, reserved, older Mums from Maidstone?

(43 Posts)
skidge Fri 25-Feb-05 12:52:18


I am older Mother from Maidstone. I have an 18 month old son who I realise would benefit from joining a Mother and toddler group. While I wish very much to take him, I am held back by my severe shyness and (to make things worse) I am very reserved as a result.This was me as a child - always the quiet one who held back. I know I come across as unfriendly but inside I am not and I wish I could deal with it. I just find it hard to mix with new people and imagine they will dislike me from the off.

I am constantly nagged by a well meaning granny and aunt telling me I should be taking my son here and there. One of the things said to me was that he would stand out at school as the kid who didn't go to a toddler group, which upset me. I know they are right but I feel I am being "bullied" by them. My ds is (luckily at the moment) naturally very sociable, and I do not want to hold him back.

Please, can anyone help?

Aero Fri 25-Feb-05 13:19:30

Don't know if I can help, but I have a 13month old ds and live in Medway. Would be happy to meet-up and perhaps we could brave one of these things together.
There are also lots of other mners in this area and a few of us have met up from time to time. We're all very nice and friendly.
don't know how old you are when you say 'older, but it doesn't really matter about how 'old' we are does it - I'm approaching 35.
Freckle lives near you too - she has three boys, though they are older than than ours. She's lovely (aren't you Freckle).
Also, Cadbury lives near me and has a ds around 18mths too. HTH

Aero Fri 25-Feb-05 13:20:25

forgot to add, Cadbury is lovely too!!

kimbie Fri 25-Feb-05 14:15:11

Hi im Kim.
Your not alone.i feel exactly like you do.I have 2 dd 5yrs and 1yrs. I find it difficuit to talk to people too. I was so shy when i was at school. I think people must think im a snobby person but im not.
I use to take my 5yr old to toddler group once a week i even dreaded that cause i felt to shy to speak to any of the other mums i'd worry i'd say something wrong or that they wont like me.
I really want to make friends but my shyness has been holding me back for so long. I even get shy here on mn to talk to anyone!
I dont have any advice as im in the same boat, but hope things get better for you hon.

Freckle Fri 25-Feb-05 14:17:49

Hi, I'm in Maidstone too - and an older mum. Although I'm not sure anyone would describe me as shy and reserved .

I have 3 boys, aged 11, 9 and 6, so somewhat older than yours. Whereabouts in Maidstone are you?

And thanks, Aero. I think you're lovely too .

Aero Fri 25-Feb-05 14:21:20

skidge Sat 26-Feb-05 22:36:21


Thankyou all for your messages and kind words.
I live in Maidstone town centre - just off of the Boxley road.
I took my ds to a place called Polar adventure the other day and he loved it but I have to say, I still felt very self conscious and was rather wishing the time away. I spent most of the time running after my ds as he is quite active and 'on the go' all of the time, so I know I must continue to take him.
Can any of you recommend a mother and toddler group in Maidstone?

Aero Sat 26-Feb-05 22:51:12

Hi skidge
I'm not very familiar with Maidstone itself tbh, though know how to get there, so can't help with recommendations for M&T groups there.
Are you mobile though?
I know that there is one run at the church we go to (though I don't use it - yet! I'm not overly comfortable at these things either - have no idea why really, I'm not that shy. I do feel though that ds2 would benefit from it and I'm sure I'd feel comfortable after a while if i gave it a chance. Main problem though is that it's on over lunchtime and ds is usually asleep then. Cadbury goes to it (in fact I think she runs it with another friend), and her ds loves it. Anyway, it's in Walderslade and do feel free to CAT me (or Cadbury) for details if you're interested.
Hopefully someone from Maidstone itself will know of others nearer to you.

rickman Sat 26-Feb-05 22:51:20

Message withdrawn

Freckle Sun 27-Feb-05 08:48:46

Mine are all way past toddler groups, so I don't have any info on that. Have you tried contacting your local NCT branch? They hold coffee mornings in members' houses, so perhaps a more intimate and not to intimidating setting for you.

I'm just outside the town centre, but on the other side from you - just off the London Road.

Dingle Sun 27-Feb-05 09:18:37

Hi skidge, I am nearly (39!!) and have a ds of 5 and a dd of 3. I am only in Lordwsood. Don't do much in the way of M & T groups especially now my dd attends nursery 5 sessions a week.
Have done a few local meets,and I would highly recommened them.
I understand the shyness thing, I try to come across as confident, but inside I am very unsure and lack so much confidence-it isn't helped much by the fact that dd has SN. She has all the confidence that I lack!!

skidge Sun 27-Feb-05 20:59:37

Hi to you all again,

Hi Aero, it would be great to meet up with you, however, I am ashamed to say , I do not drive - though it is about time! Also, my ds sleeps over lunch time too. I know Walderslade isn't far from Maidstone, but not being able to drive is a bit of a hitch.
Hi Rickman, for the record, I was 44 in December (I hear you all taking big gulps!)Please don't be put off by my age, I am much younger at heart and my dh is quite a bit younger than me.
Freckle, thankyou for your suggestion to contact the NCT. I shall do this as soon as...
Am so glad I found this site as until now have felt v isolated.

skidge Mon 28-Feb-05 19:27:25

Knew my age would put you off!

Freckle Tue 01-Mar-05 23:06:07

Sorry, but I outrank you . So if people are put off by your age, I've no hope.

Aero Sun 13-Mar-05 20:54:49

Hello again - totally missed your reply, so you definitely didn't kill this thread - if no-one else posts now though, I might!
It's no problem - I drive, and can probably find my way round Maidstone, so no worries there.
I can also assure you that Freckle is a very lovely mner, who looks nothing like how how old/young she tells us she is, so age is no barrier here!

rickman Sun 13-Mar-05 21:10:44

Message withdrawn

Aero Sun 13-Mar-05 21:37:38

Normally, Mondays are good but this week is a bit of a pain as have a few things planned already. Thursday might be better this week if you're free?
Failing that, we're probably going to run into school hols aren't we? Email me with a couple of dates and I'm sure we'll work something out. Kids would enjoy seeing each other again anyway, I'm sure.

emilygrace1128 Mon 21-Jan-08 22:35:27

hi skidge, i have just joined this site and read afew msgs, i didnt take a huge gulp when u said your age as my parteners mum is in her 40's with a 3 year old. i have a 14month old daughter and i also live in maidstone, (actually the council put me in parkwood) my friend takes her little 1 to wear em out up here, not been there my self as i dont really want to go by myself. dani xx

Squiffy Wed 23-Jan-08 17:03:46

Have found this following an exchange with Freckle on another thread <waves to Freckle>. I'm an older mum (41) and live near Canterbury with a 4YO and an 18MO. I am a bit hopeless with meet-ups because I work full-time, but will keep an eye out for this thread in case there are any evening/weekend meets....

evenhope Wed 23-Jan-08 17:20:55

Emilygrace did you notice this thread is 3 years old ?

Please newbies don't reopen really old threads.. start a new one grin

janzira Tue 05-Feb-08 10:54:58

Hello im a 40 year old mother of a six month old girl and get a bit bored during the day,weekdays, i live in maidtone town centre so if anyone is in the same boat and wishes to organize days out let me know.I drive so i can always pick up.

Bensmum01 Tue 26-Feb-08 16:54:09


im a 26yr old mum from maidstone who has found herself in the situation where i need to try and overcome my shyness and begin to interact with other mums for the sake of my son !! If anyone can suggest some mother and toddler groups then that would be fab !! smile My darling son will be 2 in a couple of weeks but he towers over all the other kids his age !

kaz999 Mon 03-Mar-08 10:29:03

hi im karen i live in maidstone, im 27. i have a daughter who just turned 2 yrs old. im also very shy and need to start taking my daughter to see other children but its so difficult. i dread it. does anyone fancy meeting up?
BENSMUM- hi do u fancy chatting?
on msn messenger too

babo8 Tue 04-Mar-08 12:37:34

Hi I am a Mum of a two years old georgeous boy in Maidstone. I am a very shy person which doesn't really help when you need to entertain a little boy. I haven't got too many friends in this area as I have moved here not so long time ago. Does anyone fancy to meet up either for a tea and cake in my place or in Mote park. I am open for any other suggestions!

babo8 Wed 05-Mar-08 09:59:36

Hi Bensmum01 and kaz999 and other Maidstone mums would you like to meet up in Mote Park leasure centre soft play area for a big chat?! Any day is good for me except wednesday. Hopefully see you soon.

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