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No friends

(32 Posts)
nikkinoodle123 Tue 02-Oct-18 20:47:12

I stumbled across a previous post from about 5 years ago whilst asking Google why I have no friends, that prompted me to join and start a new post.

I am 33, I have 2 sons, I work part time and maintain a home but I am so lonely and saddened by the fact I have 'no friends'. Don't get me wrong I have a number of people i say hi to if I spot them over the other side of the bar, but the problem is I have nobody to go to the bar with and it's really getting me down.

I dream of having a few girl friends who I can go for coffee with or shopping etc but I have nobody and I am so lonely.

Is anyone else in the same boat? I just feel that no matter what I do, nobody likes me. I'm never invited out anywhere, mums at school don't speak to me as I'm not in their click. People at work include me but we don't see each other out of work as we are just colleagues.

Surely there has to be more to life than sitting around dwelling that you are completely alone, but the truth is it is soul destroying.

sleepismysuperpower1 Tue 02-Oct-18 20:51:21

could you join a club? maybe a book club, spin class or something? that way you would get out and meet new people

Loulou0 Tue 02-Oct-18 20:52:22

That's rubbish OP. I moved to a new area and was in the same situation for a while. I felt really lonely.

Obvious suggestions are joining groups with your kids, volunteering, joining the gym that kind of thing?

Does your school need any help with the PTA etc?

You do have to put yourself out there. X

Fiffyshadesofgreymatter Tue 02-Oct-18 20:52:43

That's so hard to read. I really feel for you.

I'm in a similar but different situation. My friends are out there, but I'm a single mum with only my parents to help and they do a lot ofnchildcare when work gets crazy, so I really feel like I cannot ask them to mind the kids so I can if off out for fun. So I just don't go. I will meet someone for a coffee about once a month, but outside of that my friendships are all conducted over WhatsApp. And it's really rubbish coz I feel like I'm losing my chance to enjoy going out with friends. My kids have playdates and the mum's will come in for a coffee, or I will go there for one but it's not like having a close friend who you have a shorthand with and inside jokes with.

I just hope that when the kids are old enough to not be a bother to my parents, my friends will still be there.

Betsy86 Tue 02-Oct-18 20:55:34

I am in the same boat as you op except i dont have 2 sons just ond dd but totally get how you feel it is soul destroying x

Conseulabananahammock Tue 02-Oct-18 20:55:42

I'm exactly the same. Sahm to 3 kids. I'm a full time carer for my youngest. I'm 29 and have 2 friends that I would actually call friends. Few people id say hi to. Used to be surrounded by people,now not so much. I don't seem to be likes by the school run mums either. Seems hard to meet new people I actually want to spend time with.

nikkinoodle123 Tue 02-Oct-18 20:59:21

Thanks for the replies. I can't really commit to joining any sort of groups or the gym etc as I don't have anyone to look after my kids. My day consists of dropping my youngest at breakfast club then driving an hour to work, finishing work, driving home and picking him up from after school club (eldest is in 3rd year seniors) - the only time i am child free other than during school hours is the occasional Saturday night when youngest goes to his Dads but those nights aren't regular as he is quite happy to cancel if he gets a 'better offer' so to speak.

I guess I would just like to have some female friends to speak to and see every so often. The people I associate with eg go for a pint are male and I tend to do that just to get me out the house and stop me going mad!

I honestly hope I never get married as i would literally have nobody to invite haha! I know it's not the be all and end all, I'm lucky to have the things I have but sometimes just wish I had a couple of friends to have fun with. Can't remember the last time I actually had fun and that's quite a sad realisation

nikkinoodle123 Tue 02-Oct-18 21:02:48

Haha Consuela Banana Hammock! I laughed so hard then, I am Friends mad. I recently completed a first aid course with St Johns Ambulance and used that as my name on my assessment paper 🙈

Conseulabananahammock Wed 03-Oct-18 13:06:09

@nikki I often use Regina philange when ordering things offline. Just so they have to ask my name when I sign for it grin

nikkinoodle123 Wed 03-Oct-18 13:23:06

Haha that's brilliant! I may have to do that 😂😂😂 FRIENDS is literally my life! Probably as I dont have any of my own (sigh) haha x

Conseulabananahammock Wed 03-Oct-18 13:33:28

Much the same. I feel like I am part of the gang grin
Where abouts do you live? Not thinking about stalking just thinking if you lived close be nice to maybe have a brew. Maybe if not so close do like a pen pal kind of effect. Happy mail or whatever the cool kids are calling it grin

Conseulabananahammock Wed 03-Oct-18 13:37:52

Just realised how elderly that made me sound grin

nikkinoodle123 Wed 03-Oct-18 13:49:26

Haha that's ok! And I am the same I feel like part of their gang - at least I'm not the only saddo (joke!) I live in Merseyside. How about you? X

Conseulabananahammock Wed 03-Oct-18 14:15:18

Oh I'm a total saddo ill admit to that 😂😂 in Cumbria so a bit of a trek away. Be happy to exchange addresses in pm tho if you fancy the happy mail shit grin

nikkinoodle123 Wed 03-Oct-18 14:26:56

😂😂😂 well at least we have something in common then! Yeah sure I can do that or we could chat via WhatsApp or text to start? I'm new to this site to don't even know how to PM 😩 if you want to message me that's fine x

Conseulabananahammock Wed 03-Oct-18 14:32:03

I've popped you a message over lovely . You should get a little alarm bell by your profile thingy (that's about as technical as I get ) 😂

Fiffyshadesofgreymatter Wed 03-Oct-18 14:58:31

If you're ever in the West of Scotland for a holiday, you'd be welcome for a wee coffee meet Up!

finnmcool Wed 03-Oct-18 15:02:16

You could organise a meet-up in your area for Mnetters.

We've had a few in London, they're always a fantastic laugh and I've made some lasting friendships grin

Aprilislonggone Wed 03-Oct-18 15:05:15

West Coast of Scotland is my fav place!! Dh grew up there and we visit when we can!!

nikkinoodle123 Wed 03-Oct-18 15:24:04

Thank you! Don't think I've ever been that far up but really appreciate your response and who knows maybe one day I shall go on an adventure 😊 x

ChristmasDaydreams Mon 17-Dec-18 20:35:59

Bumping as I know how you feel! Met up with two friends at the weekend but it felt so awkward, one doesn’t have any children, the other does but her little one was being looked after. I had to bring my little one along and they both seemed off with me. I understand friendships burn out and move on.
Had a look on Liverpool local chat topic thing on here but there doesn’t seem to be anything going on.

nikkinoodle123 Tue 18-Dec-18 07:18:22

I'm not far from Liverpool smilex

StrugglingOn13 Tue 18-Dec-18 07:23:52

Hey OP I feel exactly the same but no DC just lives around a lot

I’m also from Merseyside near Liverpool though so if there was a meet-up I’d be interested smile

Icantbelieveitsnotnutter Tue 18-Dec-18 07:28:07

There's an app/website called Meetup which is brilliant. It covers all different areas, genres, tastes and is a genuinely great way of meeting up with like minded people flowers

ChristmasDaydreams Tue 18-Dec-18 07:51:14

I’m a bit wary of apps. Not on social media of any sort (personal reasons, I won’t go into it). The Liverpool meet up thread seems to have stopped having anyone post on it. My problem is that I’d always have to bring my little one along, I think that that’s the problem with my two friends the other day.

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