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Durham / Teeside / Tyne & Wear Meet up and random chat thread.

(895 Posts)
KaraStarbuckThrace Wed 29-Aug-12 21:44:36

Next meet up, Tuesday 4th September.
During the day, either Botanic Gardens in Durham or the Slug and Fiddle near the Gala Theatre in Durham City centre.

Now for some random chat.
DS sang a song about bolognaise today. And DD walked some more. But still prefers crawling and using my nipples as handholds on Mount Starbuck.

LillethTheCat Wed 06-Mar-13 15:22:36

Is it worth going to then?

Thanks for the links for free stuff, I have registered, always like a freebie grin

Meeting was fine, just discussing DS and strategies to help him really.

Sorry about this morning.

KaraStarbuckThrace Wed 06-Mar-13 15:48:59

Yes, it is a bit pricey but worth it.
Glad your meeting went well!
Thanks, Viking, have registered!

OoohTrifle Fri 08-Mar-13 14:47:56

What have I missed?! Survived first week back at work where it is reassuringly as much as a mess as when I left. Hurrah!

Thing 2 dislikes nursery A LOT. They even had to get his brother from the preschool room in one day to cheer him up. This is despite the nursery owner telling me that he really likes her and gives her a big smile when he sees her. I can only assume she walks around with biscuits in her pockets.

juneybean Fri 08-Mar-13 17:03:57

Viking and I will be meeting in Darlington on the 25th March if any one wants to come along, we usually go to the William Stead in town or we can go to Adventure Point (as long as I won't look weird sitting there without any children?)

Any one fancy it?

LillethTheCat Fri 08-Mar-13 17:33:47

me me me me me I do. Just looking at calendar and stuff now, shouldn't be a problem this time.

KaraStarbuckThrace Fri 08-Mar-13 22:49:32

Oh yes, you can count me in. Juney - you can just borrow a child, I am sure no one will mind :D

Trifle, give it time, he may just need some extra time to settle. How has it been back at work? and is it Fridays you have off?

juneybean Fri 08-Mar-13 23:30:15

What time do we fancy? I don't care as long as I'm plied with coffee

KaraStarbuckThrace Sat 09-Mar-13 07:10:45

No earlier than 10. Us with over 1's get free coffee and biscuit for dc before 10.30 at AP.

What's happening re: curry?

juneybean Sat 09-Mar-13 11:21:14

Its me you're talking to, you're lucky if I get out of bed before 10! grin

Curry! April?

LillethTheCat Sat 09-Mar-13 11:54:25

10 is the earliest I can make it without rushing.

juneybean Sat 09-Mar-13 12:53:23

So far I can do 6th or 13th April for curry.

KaraStarbuckThrace Sat 09-Mar-13 14:33:45

Shall we say around 10:15? That should give you a bit of time to get up, Juney ;)

AFAIK, I can do either of those dates for Curry.

Indith/Spiggy - what is the plan for Newcastle next Saturday? What time are you thinking of meeting? Want to book train tickets soonish.

spiffysquiffyspiggy Sat 09-Mar-13 14:40:16

Think Indith said she'd be free from 12 ish. I can do any time. Meet at the station?

spiffysquiffyspiggy Sat 09-Mar-13 14:43:26

Might have to be extra nice to dh for a curry night. I was out on Monday and last night with possible night out next Fri as well shock

LillethTheCat Sat 09-Mar-13 15:05:27

I definately can't make 6th for Curry. Its DH's birthday and we are visiting parents that night.

Although Im not 100% certain about the 13th either, but that only because I dont know if I can do nights out anymore. What are taxi prices like round Darlo? If I do come as I live in the middle of nowhere Id have to get a taxi there and back and not sure how expensive that will be before Ive even started a night out. Or I could drive and stay sober of course. Is it doable for me to have a night out? I miss having a night out sad

LeggyBlondeNE Sat 09-Mar-13 17:59:50

Ironically this baby usually sleeps past midnight ... But won't stay asleep if I'm not there RIGHT beside him! Plus thanks to this, I'm now accustomed to being asleep by 9... (Actually quite good for keeping me functional and not the exhausted mess I felt last time!). So no nights out for a while alas.

KaraStarbuckThrace Sat 09-Mar-13 18:38:46

Do you not want to bring him with you, Leggy?

Indith Sun 10-Mar-13 10:37:58

I have no clue about curry. Am waiting on seeing how things go before making decisions about a social life!


Night weaning.

I don't think I can face the wider MN because someone is bound to tell me to leave him to scream and someone will tell me that no matter how gentle I am I will be damaging him and setting him up for a lifetime of depression and trust issues.

The rattle went away, the baby slept quite well for 2 nights then went back to his usual disaster area so we assumed he was better grin.

So no teeth, no new skills, no illness, not on dairy so nothing potentially giving him an upset tummy, nothing we can tell that may be disturbing him so we went for it and started with the night weaning. I've fed him at bedtime and then not again until 5.30am ish.

Last night was night 3. I have slept elsewhere for all 3 nights and dh has settled him. First 2 nights were OK. Not much screaming but very unsettled. BUT dh managed quite a few times to settle him in his cot rather than constantly walking him around. Last night though was hideous, screaming and screaming, he walked and rocked and sang all flipping night.

Tomorrow dh has to be up early to go to Leeds.

Do you think it was just the hideous 3rd night you get?

Where do I go from here?

I think dh is going to have to sleep in the loft to catch up after the past few nights. If I pick ds2 up though he will want milk. Plus I have NEVER been able to walk him round to sleep like dh can. Do I just bite the bullet and sit by him and pat him with him in his cot? is 3 nights of no millk enough to be able to do that?

I just don't know. I hate the screaming. But then we get screaming anyway as his usual sleep pattern is wake, demand milk, feed a few mins, toss and turn and get cross at not being able to go back to sleep, scream. Dh pick him up, he screams at dh for a bit then allows him to rock and walk him back to sleep. Not a great sleep pattern for anyone. Generally dh tries to settle him evening and early morning so I get sleep then and I try to keep him latched on and quiet in the core of the night for dh to sleep. But we can't keep doing that. I need sleep. Dh needs sleep. Plus if I get allocated Sunderland then in a few weeks I will be expected to do night shifts. And I WANT to do it and throw myself into it, I dont' want to start asking for dispensation due to feeding because the cild is a year old not 6 months old.

juneybean Sun 10-Mar-13 13:21:32

From opening sentence are you against controlled crying?

From my limited experience 3 days is nothing although its bloody horrible with the screaming and feels much longer than 3 days :/

I think just patting, not engaging in any other communication is the way to go.

Indith Sun 10-Mar-13 13:52:21

Not completely. But I am not sure it is right for ds2. We did it with ds1 around this age BUT he had previously slept through for months on end no problem and was a child who wound down with a bit of a fuss so for him it pretty much just reminded him that he could do it. Ds2 is more like dd who got hysterical and would never, ever calm down if left to cry. When dd was coming up for 2 years old I weaned her completely and at night I spent a couple of nights sitting by her cot holding her, stroking her and telling her the milk was all gone. After 2 nights she settled for a 30 second pat on the back but still woke up 10 times a night. Tbh I'm not necessarily looking for him to sleep through, I jsut want a reliable way of resettling him when he wakes!

KaraStarbuckThrace Sun 10-Mar-13 17:38:54

I'm kind of in this situation with DD, she is still waking up 3-4 times in the night, and I never get a full evening when she doesn't wake up. If I go out, then I can guarantee she will be downstairs asleep on the sofa as she has woken up and DH has had to bring her downstairs. I don't think I could leave her to cry as I think she will just worse and she will wake DS up as well as they share a room.
I am almost thinking should we move her back into our room and side car the cot again. She feeds to sleep and this is pretty much the only way she will go to sleep. Nap times are a night mare as she will only nap in the car (and then wake up if I try and get her out) or on my bed.
The other solution is to get her into a bed now and at least I or DH and lie down with her.
But there is no sense of urgency as there is with you Indith (apart from being thoroughly fed up with it!)

Indith Sun 10-Mar-13 21:12:28

well lots of screaming putting him to bed in the first place after his feed then woke up at 8.15 and is still very cross indeed. so night 4 is going well. can't do this any more. I'm recognising the signs in myself from when dd was up 10 or more times a night. the itchy eyes, vision going blurry and taking too long to focus. been doing ok til very recently but it is too much now. need something to work and make him sleep better. can't do course like this. starting to get to the point I'm not happy driving but I have no choice some days.

KaraStarbuckThrace Sun 10-Mar-13 21:37:18


Indith Mon 11-Mar-13 10:47:48

Well actually when I wrote that dh had gone up and was patting him and he went to sleep a couple of mins later and slept for 4 hours shock. Settled easily when woke. Woke again, dh patted him for flipping ages. Then he woke at 4 and took an hour to settle. Slept from 5 til 6. Crashed out on school run this morning and I transferred him from sling to cot and he is still asleep. I sat down thinking to get a rest before he woke and I'm still here.....really should be doing stuff!

I can't decide if that is progress or not. However we didn't once get him out of his cot. After 3 nights of walking and rocking we thought we'd progress to keeping him in there, after all he needs to work out the whole lie down and go to sleep thing. We did leave him to shout for 5 mins or so at a time last night when he wouldn't accpet being patted. He didn't get hysterical, for me hysterical is when you go in and they are a hiccupping, snotty mess. He stopped the instant we went in. HE was just standing up and shouting over the sides of his cot. He got more cross if we tried to pat him and he was trying to stand up so we left him a bit, went back and lay him back down and patted. If he stayed there we carried on soothing him to sleep, if he jsut kept trying to stand up we left him again on the basis that trying to pin him down was rather more cruel than leaving him to shout.

Aha, baby awake.

KaraStarbuckThrace Mon 11-Mar-13 11:03:00

Yep, shoutiness I could cope with. It's the hysterical sobbing and trying to climb out of the cot we get.
Think I'm going to talk to DH about getting the bunk beds.

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