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Please tell me what being a mother is really like

(15 Posts)
user1478701192 Mon 14-Nov-16 20:48:35

For an art project I want to learn about the reality of everything and anything to do with becoming a mum. I don't mean to offend by using mumsnet as my platform to do so but I was hoping that this way I can reach a wide range of mums with different experiences and be able to understand what motherhood is like as I do not have any children of my own.
I'm really interested in anything anyone would like to tell me about motherhood from the highs to the lows of having a new child.
I would especially love to hear about anything people found shocking when faced with motherhood and things that people don't often talk about or tell each other to expect when having a child.
thanks for reading x

StealthPolarBear Mon 14-Nov-16 20:54:31

I didn't expect how full on it was. People say your life won't be your own and make jokes about not having showers but suddenly becoming responsible for keeping another human alive with no option of failure was a culture shock.

On a nicer note when I had tiny, cute, snuggly babies I used to feel sorry for parents of older children with their great big un-cute seemingly mini adults. I now have a 9 and 7 year old and realise they are just bigger versions of the cute snuggly babies and can still melt my heart when I look at them.

I didn't realise how cute it would be to have two mini-humans that you created have a conversation entirely indepently of you in the back of the car smile "wow they're talking to each other - just like furbies!" smile

caroline29woohooo Mon 14-Nov-16 21:01:35

You worry non stop about them. From birth you are worrying they are ok/you have done and are doing it right/worry about the state of the world and if it will affect them. Worrying is the hardest thing for me.

Gowgirl Mon 14-Nov-16 21:02:17


Bluntness100 Mon 14-Nov-16 21:02:54

I wasn't so good when she was small, I did my job, and I loved her, but my focus was on getting it right and making sure she was ok. I intellectualised it I think.

Now she's 19, and good God, I could not cope without her. I love the bones of her, she is everything to me, even though she lives away at uni, and I am employed in a demanding role. And I've felt this way since she could talk.

Motherhood is challenging, stressful, boring at times ( i hated play time) , demanding ( what's for dinner, is her skull developing normally, what the fuck is that pulsating bit, jeez its just a period, seriously that's your boyfriend, you're skinny enough, eat for gods sake, how much for uni?) to getting that Mother's Day card saying you're the best mum in the world and she wouldn't know what to do without you.

Biggest scariest and absolutely the best roller coaster ride of your life.

OnlyEatsToast Mon 14-Nov-16 21:06:43

Relentless. And once there is a baby you no longer matter - you're only secondary to keeping a baby alive. I was not naive but still genuinely shocked by how little people truthfully tell you. Even about bf - there's almost a conspiracy of not talking pregnant/new mums the truth. Also the tiredness. And how little support you'll actually get from anyone. Can you tell I had a shite time if it?! confused. My view of the world has completely changed

fabulous01 Mon 14-Nov-16 21:10:18

Full of worry
Non stop
But absolutely amazing

mum2Bomg Mon 19-Dec-16 00:52:07

Agree to worrying about everything. My DD is 14 days old and the transition in myself is incredible. All the things I thought I would care about and all the things I used to care about (only 2 weeks ago) no longer mean anything to me.

My relationships with family members have shifted and I have found myself looking at people completely differently - the grumpy lady on the toll at Boots is 'someone's baby', the wrinkly old postman is 'someone's baby'. It's completely incredible to create a person. It smashed me around the face when I met her. I felt like I had always know her.

I had a horrible experience with the birth but, genuinely, if someone had told me in the middle of it, when she was becoming distressed and her blood oxygen was dropping, that she would be OK if they removed one of my arms, I would have agreed.

It's huge. It's bigger than you. It's bigger than anything. I love being a Mum.

*This is my experience - I don't know how everyone else feels...

mum2Bomg Mon 19-Dec-16 00:55:22

StealthPolarBear - just like furbies lol smile

Steamgirl Mon 19-Dec-16 01:03:40

I had no idea how squirty everything was going to be. Nothing prepares you for it. It goes on for years, eventually becoming mere smearyness, but the first few weeks are shocking.

EatsShitAndLeaves Mon 19-Dec-16 01:10:12

If you want to ask something so personal than at least do the MN community by choosing your own user name.

Secondly, this site is not for research purposes. Nor is it for Academic evidence.

I think your ask was not appropriate.

EatsShitAndLeaves Mon 19-Dec-16 01:13:01

Ouch - so many typos.

Phone rather than laptop. Still I think my meaning is clear..

blondieminx Mon 19-Dec-16 01:21:36

I think research and media requests are supposed to be approved by MNHQ.

I didn't expect it all to be so primal. Birth, then the worry that you have, the way you can tell from the smell of the top of their head they're about to get ill about 12hrs before the bug hits. It's relentless, the little darlings always need something. That the way they run out from school saying "Mummy" and grinning will utterly melt your heart!

rocketzoom Tue 14-Mar-17 11:50:29

And then the little cuties become teenagers, a huge percentage of whom make life total hell for parents with drug use, trashing their entire education, petty crime & complete disruption of domestic life for the rest of the family.

They go out of their way to make you actually hate them & you can't wait for them to go and live elsewhere so they stop poisoning your life.

angelicjen Mon 20-Mar-17 19:12:33

It's all about bodily fluids and functions confused

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