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What should the ‘British Disney’ have as a theme?

(32 Posts)
SallyPeck Thu 28-Apr-16 13:00:39

Hi Mumsnetters,
I’m looking for your help for a story I’m working on for the Telegraph’s travel section. There have been rumours for years about a theme park to rival Disney, which is to be build in Kent, possibly to open in 2021.

What I'd like to have a bit of fun with is imagining what a world-class British theme park would be.

My personal dream would be to have top-notch rides that pay homage to what it is to be British - taking in literature, art, etc. So a roller coaster that goes through Rochester's attic and by Bertha Mason, plenty of Harry Potter fun, a visit to Narnia via whizzy rides... basically, a theme-park version of the Olympic Games opening ceremony (minus the NHS tribute... because that's enough of a roller-coaster on its own).

I'd love to know what Mumsnetters think would encapsulate a British theme park.

What would a UK-themed amusement park have to include?

Thank you for your help,

DailyMailFuckingFail Fri 29-Apr-16 19:56:03

Ooooh, I just asked my DS (13) your question because he likes designing his dream theme park.

He suggests a fake Thames through the centre of it with a James Bond speedboat ride.

And one of those whizzy, shooty rides (like the Buzz Lightyear one at Disneyland) themed like you're out on a shoot. More points for bagging a stag than a rabbit of course. hmm

I would add,
A British weather experience where you get all four seasons in the course of three minutes. grin

But I'm aware that under my topical name change you can't quote me without a lot of * oops! grin

Newes Fri 29-Apr-16 19:58:36

Wallace and Gromit wander through Soho.

Newes Fri 29-Apr-16 19:59:26

Spinning teacups heroin rollercoaster.

glenthebattleostrich Fri 29-Apr-16 20:01:32

A good queue and some umbrellas!

A good mary poppins themed ride
The world of Roald Dahl

Newes Fri 29-Apr-16 20:02:05

Whack A Chav sidestalls.

DailyMailFuckingFail Fri 29-Apr-16 20:03:40

Newes grin

Newes Fri 29-Apr-16 20:05:24

BoatyMcBoatface and the Seven Tugs.

Newes Fri 29-Apr-16 20:08:58

Peter Rabbit's Great Big Frack Off Adventure.

HoneyDragon Fri 29-Apr-16 20:12:05

Why would it be Britain themed? We already have those?

Surely themes would be along the lines of Bond and Harry Potter and ilk?

And by ilk I mean literal Ilks, that rampage getting wound up to wound you with the agonies of the English language and it's idiosyncraticies. Were it made, we're wondering where would it be in a sheltered wood so it could not be cold?

That's how you fuck up tourists grin

Newes Fri 29-Apr-16 20:15:42

Especially with autocarrot and its idiosyncracies.

pieceofpurplesky Fri 29-Apr-16 20:21:30

Ooooh I like this.
James Bond ride in Aston Martin carts
Wallace and Gromit
A King Arthur and Merlin style ride
Dragon slaying
A swinging 60s ride with music, minis and a whiz round London

ShatnersBassoon Fri 29-Apr-16 20:22:20

Concrete and Piss - a sink estate adventure for all the family.

I'd like it to be Disney-themed actually. Imagine not having to abroad to get 'It's a Small World' stuck in your head.

Newes Fri 29-Apr-16 20:27:52

Whippet Dodgems.

PirateSmile Fri 29-Apr-16 20:31:41

The weather idea is tenuous. Four seasons in a minute grin
What about a trip through a street that switches from medevel times to Tudor times, to the Victorian era? The countryside should also feature especially the sound of birdsong.

PirateSmile Fri 29-Apr-16 20:34:03

Genius not tenuous!!!

Newes Fri 29-Apr-16 20:35:25

Thank You For The Delays. (Train themed).
I'm sure someone could tweak the Kirsty McColl version for extra pathos.

HoneyDragon Fri 29-Apr-16 20:41:26

Shatners You're a fucking bastard, you are angry

ShatnersBassoon Fri 29-Apr-16 20:43:01

Ooh, did I get you? grin

HoneyDragon Fri 29-Apr-16 21:03:25

yes, you did you evil sod. That's me fucked for the bank holiday weekend now.

NeedACleverNN Fri 29-Apr-16 21:14:08

It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small small world

Come on Honey embrace the ear worm

ShatnersBassoon Fri 29-Apr-16 21:15:21

I once ruined a week's holiday in Newquay because I couldn't stop singing the theme from Changing Rooms. Then, on the Thursday after a very drunken Wednesday night, I forgot how it went and drove myself mad trying to remember it again confused

Seeyounearertime Fri 29-Apr-16 21:16:13

One ride with one really, really, really long queue and an old lady pushing a tea trolley up and down.

British Heaven.

BrandNewAndImproved Fri 29-Apr-16 21:17:40

Lord of the rings mordor explosion ride

pratiaalba Fri 29-Apr-16 21:37:11

Do you remember the thread where everyone said the centerparks advert had made them believe that the whole place was under a huge dome?
That's how it should be, to counteract weather issue.

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