Depends what you want. There are some nice hotels in Negril, where the beach is lovely and child-friendly. Some of the nicer hotels, like the Rockhouse, are up on the cliffs though. Jakes in Treasure Beach (south of the island) is fabulous. Near Montego Bay itself, the Coyaba was one of my favourites. We used to go to all-inclusives but with children the only one we went to was Beaches, which was nothing special. Don't go to Kingston unless you really want/need to, but do try and get to Portland if you get a chance, the most beautiful part of the island. Ask if you have any more specific questions, I lived in Ja for three years although was last there in 2006 so am a little out of date!
claraquack - we are looking at Negril, but it is all a bit bewildering - I think we are looking for room only or B&B, DD will be 12 so snorkling, wiindsurfing & sailing are important
I am a bit of a wuss & am hoping for "not too spicy" food. DH is Jamaican but has never really 'done' holidays there - he left in '63 when he was 11 and only ever been back to his town (Brown's Hall in St Catherine) - we aren't visiting there tho'
So far the best option appears to be Rondel Village - the reviews on Tripadvisor look OK but it is scarey
Katymac - are you sure you want to go to jamaica ;) Spicy food sort of comes with the territory! If you are keen, I would email Rondel and ask them about airport transfers, they can probably arrange it. There are lots of watersports at Negril, again the hotel can probably arrange or help you arrange it. It was Rondel we stayed at and it was nice, but I didn't have children at the time so wasn't looking at it from that perspective.
Here is another that gets consistently good reviews rockhouse - I have only eaten there, but it was nice.
Are you thinking of any other Caribbean islands as an alternative, or do you want to go to Jamaica because of your DH's family links? I currently live in St Lucia, although have only been here for a few weeks so still working things out for myself! However, it is probably an easier destination, although Jamaica's fine out of the cities. (and a very beautiful country too)
We've stayed at Club Caribbean 3 times. It's at Runaway Bay, between Montego Bay & Ocho Rios, so handy for MB airport & day trip to Dunn's River Falls. Last went in 2006, but many of the staff were long standing and are friendly and welcoming. We always went all-inclusive though.
Wow - Jamaica's popular this year! When we last went, there was loads of building work going on - throwing up huge hotels for the Cricket World Cup. I can't believe they're all fully booked (neither can I believe they were during the CWC).