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Not married, giving your child the fathers name and travelling?

(33 Posts)
Magrijade Wed 02-Nov-16 05:26:32


I've heard of many cases when travelling abroad if you aren't married and the child has taken its fathers name...being stopped by immigration etc.

However, I only seem to find cases where the parents are not of white Caucasian decent.

Has anyone else had this problem??

My bf thinks it's a plea to get him to marry me lol grin (maybe subconsciously) However I am planning to travel.... especially with my year off!

All advice gratefully received xx

HillaryFTW Wed 02-Nov-16 05:32:43

The father can write a letter of permission witnessed by a lawyer and you can take a copy of the birth certificate. Check requirements for each country but this should cover most things.

HillaryFTW Wed 02-Nov-16 05:33:35

Is your baby here yet? You could of course use your name for him/her.

Magrijade Wed 02-Nov-16 05:36:44

Babies not here yet. My name really holds no baring on me it's from a man from a second marriage to my mum and not my dad's. But I don't want to have to bother with solicitors letters and all that. Our double barrelled name isn't the greatest too...

HillaryFTW Wed 02-Nov-16 06:15:25

Bear in mind you may be questioned regardless of surname; parents can have the same name and still travel without knowledge of the other.

Where are you going? I believe south afruca requires the birth certificate to check.

tribpot Wed 02-Nov-16 06:21:37

I am married (but haven't changed my name). I regularly get asked when I travel with ds. I am white - I've never heard that this only happens to non-white people.

I only ever get asked upon re-entry to the UK. Although I carry a letter of permission, I've only ever been asked for a copy of the birth certificate.

Occasionally on MN threads about this it turns out people with the same surname have been stopped as well (as they should - it's completely insane only to check where the surnames are different) so I'd just assume it's part of travelling solo and make sure you pack a copy of the birth certificate along with the passports. I did get a notarised letter for travelling to the US, hideously expensive and it was never asked for. I wouldn't do that again unless travelling to one of the countries known to be very strict on this, like Canada.

FrizzyNoodles Wed 02-Nov-16 06:22:01

Take the birth certificate with you - I haven't done this but it shows you're the mother. Your name is your name not just your step dad's but you don't have to be married to change it and your baby's last name can be whatever you choose.

2cats2many Wed 02-Nov-16 06:31:38

I'm married and didn't take my husband's name. My children have his name (I wouldn't wish my name on my children).

I've travelled with them without my husband numerous times and hamburger carried anything apart from their passports. I've been asked if their my children on return to the UK,but never been asked to produce anything. I have parental responsibility for my children and I resent the notion that I need a letter of permission from their father to go on holiday just because they don't have my name.

2cats2many Wed 02-Nov-16 06:33:30

hamburger means 'have never' of course. Blummin phone!

Motherfuckers Wed 02-Nov-16 06:34:49

I have never had a problem, my children are a different nationality and colour from me. They do have my name but not the one in my passport (I use my mother's name, but my passport still has my father's name) We don't live in the UK so I travel frequently with them and without their father.

Giselaw Wed 02-Nov-16 06:36:34

I'm white and I've had this a few times with UK immigration coming back into the country. I have a different surname and also have an EU passport while child has UK one. They ask for birth certificate and I carry an official copy with me everywhere I take my passport (just in case). I've never been asked for a marriage certificate, so not sure why being married or not would be relevant.

Wallywobbles Wed 02-Nov-16 06:38:36

I am white as are my kids. I have different surname as my exh wouldn't allow me to keep his name (France). Regularly stopped coming into U.K. and other European countries. I travel with documentation that proves they are my kids.

Exh would never write a letter confirming anything.

Always imagine what might happen if he becomes a vindictive ex. Personally in your case I'd not put him on the birth certificate either in view of his "trapping me" attitude.

EdithWeston Wed 02-Nov-16 06:39:58

I'm white, as are DC.

And my DC and I (not matching surnames) have been on the receiving end if what I'd call 'structured conversations' by officials, establishing that we are related and are normal in each other's company.

The enforcement of the rules has changed since I've had DC, as no-one seemed that bothered when they were small, but now they take their obligations rather more seriously. But DC are big enough to answer for themselves now, so I've never carried the documentation that you need to prove an small infant is yours (eg BC)

Oh, and it happens on short haul flights too.

And usually on return to UK.

Loulou2kent Wed 02-Nov-16 06:42:44

My DC have my partners name & we've flown a few times without him.

I've never been asked for details, however I always travel with copies of their birth certificates & a letter from my Partner giving permission with a copy of his passport & birth certificate.

Like I say, I have never been stopped, but this is what a number of airlines suggested I do just in case.

HillaryFTW Wed 02-Nov-16 06:44:06

If you want to marry him and you are having a child together, I would propose!

PoldarksBreeches Wed 02-Nov-16 06:50:30

It's fine! I'm white british, don't share a surname with my son. I just carry a photocopy of his birth certificate and get asked to show it around 50% of the time. Never asked for a letter from the father let alone solicitor letter.
A police sergeant explained this law to me - in theory, anyone travelling with a child should have consent of anyone with PR But in reality this law is only evoked when there is a reason for it - i.e. Someone taking a child expressly against the other parent's wishes and has been reported for doing so.

backinthebox Wed 02-Nov-16 07:59:16

I just take the kids' birth certificates and our wedding certificate. I've been asked for proof of parentage both times I've arrived back into the UK without OH this year. One long haul trip, one short haul. Kids and I are all white. One of them is so like me it is almost daft to ask, but the immigration officers are just carrying out the checks they are instructed to do. The only place I would take extra care over travelling to (as has been mentioned) is South Africa. They have very specific anti-child trafficking measures in place.

Featherhead Wed 02-Nov-16 08:00:40

I've never been asked, but always take birth certificate just in case.

Magrijade Wed 02-Nov-16 08:02:12

He's just gonna have to marry me lol smile

Magrijade Wed 02-Nov-16 08:02:57

Thank you - all really helpful xx

PotteringAlong Wed 02-Nov-16 08:06:32

You could always change your name by deed poll do it matches them all if you wanted to.

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall Wed 02-Nov-16 08:22:49

You are free to give your child any name you want, i.e. neither parent's surname, so why I can see travelling with the birth certificate might be sensible, having a letter of permission from the father is no more necessary than if you share a name.

dementedpixie Wed 02-Nov-16 08:27:38 - says a letter is sufficient so no need for a solicitor or witness.

tribpot Wed 02-Nov-16 09:28:50

US border agency recommends a notarised letter, although it doesn't say it's required.

AlwaysStarving Wed 02-Nov-16 09:35:44

I have kids who are completely different in skin colour to me and DH although more on his end of the spectrum. Their surname doesn't match with either mine or DH's. He was supposed to change his surname after he converted but never got around to it. I have been stopped everytime coming back into the UK when I have travelled by myself and also once when we all travelled together. We just couldn't prove the kids were ours so now i always travel with birth certificate. Saves all the suspicion.

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