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I yearn for a family, ridiculous isn't it

(21 Posts)
fairyfly Sun 14-Aug-05 15:09:12

as i have one, i have a wonderful network of people, beautiful parents, lots of love, but i am sat in tears hiding from my kids as i want sunday lunch to be shared with the man of the house. I want to feed him put the kids to bed and then sit in his arms. I really deeply miss living with someone. No point to this thread, i am using it as a way to dust myself down , pick myself back up and get on with cooking.

beetroot Sun 14-Aug-05 15:23:17

Message withdrawn

vickiyumyum Sun 14-Aug-05 15:29:39

LOL - beetroot, just what i was thinking. but i know how it can feel when you don't have a partner in terms of things don't always work out the way we want them to, do they?

i always had visions of a perfect husband and father who would share equal responsibilty for everything, but although i love him, hes nothing like the ideal man that i dreamed of, he can be lazy, selfish, he smokes, watches too much sport and quite often i feel like he's emotionally retarded, he never does the cuddling on the sofa thing!

sometimes you just have those days where everything seems shit and everyone else has a better life than you.
hope you feel better soon, fairyfly

fairyfly Sun 14-Aug-05 15:34:36

the thing is i dont give a crap what anyman does just now, its the presense (sp) of another adult, oh for gos sakes indulge me i want to start taking ad's.

aloha Sun 14-Aug-05 15:38:48

It will happen. You will meet an emotionally intelligent adult male - and you will know what you want this time round. This is the bit in the middle where you sort yourself out, dust yourself down and get ready for Mr Right.

vickiyumyum Sun 14-Aug-05 15:39:58

i didn't mean to sound harsh, but don't want to sound patronising either, you know the whole i've got a dh and it aint that greta kind of thing.

i do feel for you fairyfly, i really do. i know it must be extremley hard to raise kids by yourself and even though i moan about dh i do still feel greatful that hes here.

for what its worth i admire strong independant women who cope so well. its only natural to feel down, do you get to go out regualrly, with freinds and no children?

fairyfly Sun 14-Aug-05 15:47:59

I do, i really am incredibly lucky, i can get breaks, i can ring loved ones, all is good on that perspective. If anyone thought i was falling down they would pick me up etc. Im just blatantly pissed off that i want to live with a man. My god i sound like im 15 again, but that is what its down to, As aloha says it is just me time at the moment but i miss a man for the fact my kids are made of glitter and honey and they wont be forever. I want to share them.

beetroot Sun 14-Aug-05 15:50:43

Message withdrawn

steffee Sun 14-Aug-05 16:14:44

The grass is always greener and all that...

I could list the drawbacks of having a useless man around the place but you already know those. You sound like you're very strong and you're entitled to moan about not having someone to share the joys of your lovely kids with now and again. You have every right to feel down occasionally and you'll pick yourself up again before long (and meet a nice man one day if that's what you want) so for now, just have lots of hugs from MNetters. {smile}

popsycal Sun 14-Aug-05 16:17:36

Not been around much FF but I am always here.........
Your bit about your kids being made of glitter and honey made me cry

xxxx

WideWebWitch Sun 14-Aug-05 16:22:31

Ff, I remember that feeling. Sundays were especially hard I found when I was on my own. But I do have one (man, family) now so it can be done and you're gorgeous by all accounts so I feel sure it'll happen for you.

Fio2 Sun 14-Aug-05 16:30:47

will you come with me to the 'offy to fetch more wine

yes sundays are crap dear

fairyfly Sun 14-Aug-05 16:53:34

and to cap it all off my children have just said i make shite meals, the shock the horror, i cant even feed them properly, sob {{{{{{{{{{{{hug)))))) ( first time ive bothered using that emotican and what an effort it was when i could have been pulling my hair out or weeping at the bottom of the stairs. My boyfriend has just rang and said my brain is too complicated for him, the shock the horror..................................

feelingold Sun 14-Aug-05 16:57:51

fairlyfly - I know what you mean, you can have fantastic friends and family but on a Sunday afternoon or in the evening when the kids have gone to bed, they are at home with their families and you are at home alone just wanting someone to share that time with and snuggle up on the sofa with. This was how I felt when I was on my own with dd and I felt very lonely.
Just when I had given up hope of ever meeting anyone nice (as every available man I met either just wanted a one night stand or was someone elses reject) I met a wonderful man who is now my dh, so you never know someone may come along soon when you least expect it.
I can totally understand your feelings and am hoping you will find your 'perfect' man like I did(well mine is nearly) soon.

fairyfly Sun 14-Aug-05 17:09:25

Thanks fg, i do actually ( all humour aside) feel like a piece of crap today. Funny how you get on with it, then sometimes wake up and feel the negative effects,.I really really miss my x today because he would be here now washing up. He isn't the man i want. I just want the man here, my boys need a bath, whoever it is should just do it and give me some time off.

Fio2 Sun 14-Aug-05 17:14:02

arew you due a period?

fairyfly Sun 14-Aug-05 17:16:32

if you were a bloke and just asked that i would being throwing dagger eyes, but yes probably, except i had the morning after pill and bled by chemical induction.

XmariaX Sun 14-Aug-05 23:41:47

hi fairyfly i actually feel the same as u both my dd's are asleep and just would like to have someone to cuddle upto and just to have a adult converstion with instead im sitting here on my own but i have good days too where im glad to be on my own

Inthewood Mon 15-Aug-05 16:03:04

Oh, Fairfly, I don't usually reply (do I have to introduce myself? What's the protocol?) but I feel exactly the same. Yesterday, Sunday, I walked to Cafe Rouge with dd (11 months) and had a drink, then walked to Caffe Uno and had two drinks. All because I don't want to sit in this flat mourning the loss of a man who is actively destructive. I hate Sundays. I feel for you, truly, truly. I want the pretty picture, kindness and humour and someone to enjoy my beautiful little girl with me. And someone who thinks I am beautiful and enjoys me too. Sorry. that became a bit long. But love to you; you're not alone in feeling that way. xxx

Toothache Mon 15-Aug-05 16:07:46

Fairyfly - I have a man in the house, but I never sit in his arms anymore unless we've had a massive arguement and I've been crying for an hour.

Nikkie Sun 21-Aug-05 20:42:16

Xmariax I feel exactly the same but I'm not bothered about living with one just having one to share things with.

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