single parent houseshare

[Lauree]

I'm a single mum (40 something) with a six year old boy in central London. I'm a professional woman working four days a week, living in central London. I'd like to find another single parent to share with... and help each other out with the ups and downs of parenting.

contact me if you think you might be interested.

[gillybean2]

When you say share do you mean house share? Child care share? Or simply someone with who you can share your trials and tribulations as single parents; to have a friend who understands your situation and be there to give each other moral support and friendship?

[Lauree]

I was thinking of house share. I normally have a lodger, but I was thinking that it might be a good thing to share the house with another single parent and child.

[Pronoia]

I've always thought (as a single parent) that if you have the room for this, it could be a wonderful solution to babysitting dilemmas and loneliness.

[Meglet]

I read an article about this last year in the Guardian IIRC. 2 mums both with little girls and they seemed to have a whale of a time.

Jolly good idea IMO as long as there are house rules and everyone is organised.

[nappyaddict]

Anyone looking for a lodger in the West Midlands area?

[mogs0]

I would love this type of arrangement. When I lived in London I found it incredibly difficult to find a landlord who would accept me as a single parent. I see lots of pros!

[mustrunmore]

Its a great idea! In the unlikely event of both myself and my best friend becoming single parents, we would def move in together. I can see distinct advantages to doing it anyway, and letting the dh's have the other property

Lodgers are also great if you know them.Our friend lives with us midweek; its good to have an added dimension to conversation, and someone to bring me milk!

[nappyaddict]

It would probably affect your benefits as a lone parent though because there would be 2 people to share bills and rent with so in that way no different to living with a partner or husband.

[mustrunmore]

Not that this is weer going to be a reality, but nappyaddict, are you saying that if I was on benefits and so was my friend, we wouldnt get benefits if we lived under the same roof? How would that be the case?
I do remeber tho, when I was at uni I lived with my boyfriend (later became h then exh), so we couldnt get free dental treatment as we were 'a couple' not 'students'

[Lauree]

I'm glad you all think it might be a good idea, although I'm not sure how easy it'll be to find someone who actually wants to move in!
Not sure about effects on benefits though, I thought that was only if you were living as a couple.

[mustrunmore]

I'd have thought so too. Altho then you get into the realms of defining relationships, eg would you have to prove you didnt have sex with the other adult?!

[nappyaddict]

I remember seeing it on some benefits program. They said she wasn't entitled to housing benefit cos she had her friend living with her and so should be getting help towards the cost of rent.

[NorbertDentressangle]

Meglet -I remembered that article as soon as I read the thread title too!

Here it is -it might be of interest to you Lauree

[ChairmumMiaowGoingItAlone]

nappyaddict - ask me again in a year when I know what's definitely happening in my marriage!

I think its a great idea and have thought about it myself, although its too early for me to do things like that yet. Also I wonder about bedroom space (I only have 3, and have a DS and another due in June). How many people would want to share with their DCs - I would quite happily share with mine - DS sleeps with me anyway most of the time.

AFAIK its only housing related benefits that would be expected - tax credits for example never asked me about who else lived in the house.

[nappyaddict]

Sorry to hear you are having difficulties Chairmum. If you need anything, let me know I think we might be FB friends?

I was going to do it with my friend but she patched things up with her DH. We were going to each have our own room and the kids were gonna share (who are both 3 and the baby when he was older)

[ChairmumMiaowGoingItAlone]

nappyaddict - I don't think I have you on FB (but you can find me through mummyfantastico)

I'm actually happier at the moment, but being quite heavily pregnant I'm not making any long term plans as I have no idea how things will turn out!

Hope you're doing ok

[nappyaddict]

Hmmm I must have been thinking of someone else then. I don't have mummyfantastico as a friend either but you can CAT me the email address you use for FB and I can add you that way if you want?

[Lauree]

Hi Sue,
I'm in E8, Dalston. great area for young ones. Good local schools, park, etc

[Elenora]

Would anyone like to share a detached farmhouse surrounded by beautiful woodland only 6 miles from Exeter in Devon. The house is massive with five bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and a large garden with veg patch and orchard. Sharing with me (50 yr old dramatherapist), my 10 yr old daughter, another younger female and her dog. It's a real home with room for another mum (or dad) plus child(ren), and would suit someone with a creative streak, an interest in gardening and living communally, with room for private space as well. Please get in touch if interested!

[BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny]

I really like this idea. My son's 11, it would have been really good for him to have another child around for him to play with.

[ButterPie]

Benefits wise, there is provision for housesharing, you are not counted as a couple, but they do count the extra rent when working things out.

www.entitledto.co.uk is a good place to check benefits, tax credits and so on.

[Lauree]

Wow, Elanora.. that sounds great! If I were not stuck in London to be near my job and DS's dad then we would be round with our suitcases right away!... on second thoughts the idea of leaving both job and xP has a LOT of attractions. Have you done this before?? or is it a new idea?

I've had lodgers, and aupairs before, and right now I have a couple with a seven year old staying for six weeks on holiday from India, so I guess that's a bit of a trial run.

and thanks Norbert for the link

[Aubergines]

My mum did this when she was bringing me up alone. We had a self contained flat at the top of our house and she always rented it out to other single mums. It was great. The mums shared babysitting and support and I always had a playmate. As an only child it was so great to have another child around. One girl and her mum lived in the flat for 6 years and we were like sisters.

[M00MINMAMMA]

Hi Lauree,

Are you still looking? I am 35, have a 3.5 year old son and was thinking of something similar. We're in West London but probably moving to elsewhere in London. I used to be a newspaper journalist but now writing a book so work from home. Would love to chat and hopefully take it from there, if you're interested then email me on [email protected]

Cheers!
Daffy