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Unusual situation, anyone similar?

(6 Posts)
Lizita Tue 12-Jul-05 00:56:20

Haven't come across anyone in a similar situation to me, would like to share experiences/difficulties etc etc. I got together with my boyfriend around 2 1/2 years ago and a month later found out I was pregnant with someone else's child (luckily the father lives in Oz. We are in touch by email and my dd will always know who her father is). My boyfriend was amazing and stuck with me. This means he was there throughout my pregnancy etc and there to bond well with dd from the beginning. We are leading a pretty normal relationship (I say normal :/ ), meaning I see him 2 or 3 times a week, we have no intention yet of living together, he isn't playing father, etc etc. We are taking things slowly as we should. We want a future together including possibly our own kids but know it's not yet worth thinking about... .Is anyone out there in a similar situation? I haven't come across anyone yet and feel like I don't fit into any "mould", the step-parenting section doesn't have much i can relate to, and lone parents seem to either be completely single or dating guys long after having their kids.... Am dying for some advice/support for various issues.

nightowl Tue 12-Jul-05 01:48:34

sorry, i have no experience of your situation but thought id say hi anyway

Twinklea Wed 13-Jul-05 19:46:06

hi lizita,
Its not exactly the same, but i have a friend who has 1 child from a previous relationshp. She met another man a while ago, and got pregnant with her 2nd. That relationship ended and shes now with another bloke, whos amazing. They have moved in together and he is treating her as thought the baby is his. He has children from his marriage, and they all get on really well. Everyone is happy. Your situation does happen, and i'm happy to say everyone i know has ended happily. For my friend, she is already thinking of the possibility of having another baby with her new bf, and her isnt due until dec yet.

Amai Mon 18-Jul-05 22:26:54

I am in this situation sort of. My boyfriend is 'playing dad' though. It is fine except for the obvious difficulties all new parents face and the fact that my dd's (1 year now) bio father is not to be trusted and threatens to get her away from me. If you would rather be with your boyfriend than the natural father then do so but don't do it because you need a father for your child. What does the Natural father think about the whole thing?

Lizita Tue 19-Jul-05 19:11:38

I don't want my boyfriend to play "father"! In fact I am really happy being a single mum, in complete control of our lives, etc etc. Dd's natural father was just a one night stand, a really nice guy now overseas with his own partner & another baby daughter. We have a good relationship. Sounds like my situation is alot easier than yours! (Actually been starting to think, reading stuff on here, that I have the very easiest parenting situation ever!)

Amai Tue 19-Jul-05 23:19:31

Well I was just saying that cos I think I may have rushed into the whole thing for all the wrong reasons. Still as we were living together anyway it seemed the natural thing to do. She still has my name though and will know her father when she is older as everyone else does it would be silly to keep it a secret. You will be fine Good luck though! How old is your dd. Cant work it out at this time of night.

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