is there anyone out there that has stopped Dcs contact with their fathers...

[simpson]

Just want to hear stories really and how you told your Dcs that they would not be seeing their daddies...

My Dcs are 4 & 2 and have done all I can to keep contact going but think its now got to stage where its not in Dcs (esp my oldest) favour to see their dad iyswim

TIA

[notsohotchic]

will he take you to court / is he bothered about seeing them or not?

[simpson]

notsohotchic - tbh I don't know if he would take me to court.

He has mental health problems and has now started to drink quite heavily

He has moved back to Ireland (where he is from) and came to visit kids last w/end and did nothing with them and sat round table and got more and more drunk...

Then on his weekly phone call on friday to kids he was pissed again

TBH I really hope that by stopping contact with kids and telling him to sort himself out, it will shock him into making an effort iyswim.

But I doubt it very much...

hewasmytwin - How old is your DD now? Does she ever ask about her daddy?

It is an incredibly difficult decision to go it alone

[Chil1234]

Sounds like a no-brainer to me. He's clearly not a fit/stable parent and that's good enough reason to keep your children close. I would respond honestly to any questions from your children about their father but don't make a big deal out of it if they don't ask. Children will generally tell you if they are worried about something and that's when a straight answer is advisable. Smaller children are remarkably accepting of the status quo and will not fret if they are happy with the answers given.

I doubt anything would shock a man in the condition you describe and I agree that he's unlikely to sort himself out. But really, that's not your problem any more, it's his. You are entitled to judge whether it's a good idea to include him in your children's lives at some point in the future. Focus on making your family's life as good as possible in the meantime.... it's challenging but often very rewarding to go it alone.

[GypsyMoth]

I am going through court with my ex. He has personality disorder as well as other issues, so I want no contact with our4 dc. Courts seem to agree......we are quibbling over phone contact, but 2 eldest don't want any contact at all
it's daunting, but better in our case