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leave entitlement to look after poorly child when you have already used up your annual leave!!! Any experts?

10 replies

fourchickens · 16/12/2009 17:36

I am a single mum with a four yr old Ds who suffers with recurrent bouts of tonsilitus and asthma (unpredictable and always aggressive with any cold he gets..... which seems to be everyone up for grabs at the moment). I have no local support from family although I do have some good friends who will help out if he is not to poorly. I have so far this year used all my annual leave up looking after Ds when sick and have another three months to go until my next lot comes into effect. What can I do about any time I am going to need over the next three months....is it a case of taking unpaid leave? Also what can I do to stop feeling so bad about 1)Letting my work colleagus down all the time (I sence they are getting a bit fed up now! and 2) How do I stop feeling so bad because I am probably putting Ds back into school to soon because I am worried about before mentioned work colleagus gossiping about me!!!

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fourchickens · 16/12/2009 18:17

Anyone??

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Lonicera · 16/12/2009 18:23

I take unpaid leave

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JACKIEwrappingPAPER · 16/12/2009 18:25

AFAIK you are entitled to 'leave for dependants' although i think, legally they don't have to pay you, although many emplyer do. You are prob best asking your boss and being upfront about it. And don't feel guilty, you are just doing the best for your children, your work colleagues should understand that.

hope you ds is on the mend soon xx

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SleighBelleDameSansMerci · 16/12/2009 18:25

Do you have the kind of role where you could do some work at home while he is off? It might help with the perception at work and, also, might mean that they will be understanding and not expect you to take unpaid leave (and you are entitled to parental leave - unpaid - but can't remember how many weeks per year).

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fourchickens · 16/12/2009 18:40

Unfortunately I am a nurse so working at home is not possible...... And despite our 'caring' profession I have never found nurses particularily sympathetic when it comes to each other! I will have a word with my 'big' boss to see what she says though, my line manager although nice is a bit hopeless when it comes to this sort of stuff.
Sometimes it feels that whatever you do you will end up feeling bad about someone or something..... I am worried about losing my job because of the amount of time I have needed to take off this year though.

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OptimistS · 16/12/2009 22:06

Hi four chickens. I really sympathise with you. I've been in a very similar situation this year. I've not managed to go more than 3 weeks this year without taking a day off because one of my children has been ill. Add to that nursery shutting because of building maintenance and my childminder having a poorly child too and I have pretty close to going insane several times this year, including this month.

I know that I'm very, very lucky indeed, as although I have no family, I have a couple of really good friends who have helped out, and I also have absolutely wonderful bosses who have never once given me a hard time about the amount of time I've had off. I am able to work from home to some degree though, which has helped, but I understand completely where you are coming from about the constant feelings of guilt - whatever you do, you feel like you're letting someone down, whether that's your poorly child or your employers/colleagues. I don't have any words of wisdom about how to deal with it, but just wanted to let you know someone understands.

On a more practical note, see what you can do about your DS's health. If he's getting recurrent tonsillitis, then surely he's a candidate for a tonsillectomy? My DD had hers out 2 months ago and the difference is already very, very obvious. She is a different child and SO much healthier. Also, if you haven't already, get your DS referred to asthma clinic at the hospital. Even with colds his asthma should be better under control than it sounds (unless the poor mite has the brittle variety?).

I know your situation sucks. I am sincerely hoping 2010 is better for me, and now for you as well. But hang on in there and know you're not alone. If we get through this at least we'll be able to feel justifiably proud of what we've managed to cope with.

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MavisEnderby · 16/12/2009 22:12

Four chickens,am also nurse and I would approach your mnager first and see if you can take some leave related to childcare,IIRC you can talke a small amount of time off in such circs but really you need an hr bod.The other option is to contact the hr department and occy health.

My dp got EXTREMELY ill 3 yrs ago and ended up hospitalised and almost died.He was in hospital for 8 months.at same time dd was dx with moderate LD's and my manager and hr were excellent enabling me to be signed off with "stress" for 6 months.Then I took a year career break unpaid and they kept job open.I think I was very lucky to be working for a public sector org at this point.

I would deffo approach your manager and hr and see what they say

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BikeRunSnowflake · 16/12/2009 22:13

Dependants'leave

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MavisEnderby · 16/12/2009 22:14

Ps in early phased return my manager was excellent and enabled me to do some work from home which involved writing policies for our new unit so such things aren't impossible

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hf128219 · 16/12/2009 22:16

As a rough guide - usually about 10 days leave is allowed to deal with 'domestic emergencies'

As a public sector worker that would be fully paid.

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