long story...all seems very triavila now written down but it keeps niggling at me and i cant stop getting upset about it! my Ds is 3. my DS's father was violent and i now have a restraining order. This morning a friend was here with her DS and we were waiting for them to be picked up. at arrival of her partner she said daddy is here, to which immediately my Ds replied my daddy has come to see me. it threw me slightly and my Ds son realised that it was his friends father. im now pregnat again and the father gave me an untlimatum to abort and carry on as we were or to continue and he would leave the counrty( extreme as it sounds he works away 70% of the time). as i choser to continue with the pregnancy he wants nothing more to do with me and his only contact at the moment is to bombard me with calls telling me i have ruined his life and telling me to "get rid!" im now worried that i may be making the same mistake twice and that bringing up 2 children on my own may have more impact on them that i first thought. i know i can manage and have a good family who i havent told as of yet as i feel i have let them down again. does anyone else in this position sometimes get the wobbles? or am i being selfish by going it alone with 2?
thank you. sometimes things just seem worse. will be a releif when i tell my family next weekend...but i think they will point out that i have made mistakes once and that i would have learned my lesson. i have known this baby's father nearly 9 years and never thought that things would come down to this. im happy and scared all at the same time...but minutes after posting i felt baby move for the first time and i pulled myself together. i just hope i stay that way from now on.
It's very hard, but it can be done...and yes, you aren't alone in repeating mistakes. My children don't even have the same father. I'm alone with them and yes I struggle, but they are fabulous children and my saving grace at times. I'm sure you'll be just fine ~ even through the hard times